made a little analysis thread on twitter and thought Iād share it here too if thatās chill ^_^
anyways traffic!impulse using self destruction and the destruction of others as a way to cope with his own frustration and resentment throughout the life series: a messy ramble-y post because Iām crazy.
most of this behavior really only starts after third life. his destructive behavior before then is usually outward and not with malicious intent. instead, he hurt others in third life because he was asked to. it was a part of a greater plan he was undoubtably loyal to and that would later get him killed and tarnish his reputation for seasons to come.
thatās why in last life, heās much more open to antagonistic behavior (which he barely partook in before and only would if asked of). this mostly includes all the stealing he did that season, the numerous break ins, and of course, spawning the wither. this could also include his personal insistence on becoming the boogeyman and even planning it out in advance (which would later get him killed, his own hubris). he was itching for it to be his turn.
itās such a huge shift from how he acted in third life, and why? personally, I think itās because of all the strain and pressure put on him by others and their disdain towards him. specifically the rumors spread about him and the reluctance of others to believe and trust him after what heād done the season prior. which for some people is justified, like ren and etho, but for others, like bdubs, is not. and this was shown to upset impulse a lot, given how it resulted in him being thrown under the bus, even by his own teammates.
but heās supposed to be nice and considerate and smart to make up for all heās done, right? thatās why he sticks with his alliance the whole time and makes a point to be loyal to them and them only. but that doesnāt stop the resentment and anger boiling, and he can only take so much before he has to let off some steam, and destructive behavior seems to be a means to do so.
it turns from him doing bad things because heās asked to to him doing it because he wants to, to cope. which is why when all else fails and the southlands fall apart, despite him taking the measures to prevent it earlier on, he helps grian spawn the wither, even with the risks and deaths. and he insists on doing it at bestās base, because they ruined him. it gets him killed. he shouldāve been smarter.
it gets worse in double life, specifically when homewrecking is proposed. while heās not the one to bring it up or start the rumors, he soon grows comfortable enough to start talking smack himself. him and bdubs deliberately try to ruin the relationships of others, and they tell themselves itās to steal away half of each pair for their own benefit, but maybe thereās more to it. maybe they ARE projecting, just like joel had said.
it doesnāt help that impulse is having his soulbound questioned and bdubs āneedsā a clock and the horns wonāt shut up. when theyāre exposed, he takes his destruction to the deep dark. he throws snowballs, he spooks unsuspecting people, he yells into the dark when he finds out his voice can trigger the sensors. throughout the season, he makes multiple efforts to cause distress in the deep dark, malicious intent or not. and maybe itās to cope with the fact that bdubs keeps sending him down there or etho wonāt stop yapping about how bdubs doesnāt want him or how bdubs put a major target on their backs.
and this is when self destructive behavior really starts, too. impulse gives away valuable resources when he realistically couldāve not, he takes risks he absolutely doesnāt have to take (despite how much he values his and, by extension, bdubsās life), when heās linked to the fishing rod sequence of death, all he says to bdubs is that it was fun while it lasted. and then he loses their first life trying to get a music disc.
whether he means to or not, heās slowly killing himself and his soulmate, too. and eventually, by the time heās red, he just gives in. he starts blowing horn (surely thereās some symbolism there), he terrorizes those better off than him, he wants to cause problems. yet thereās always still some humanity in him that shines through, regardless of his destructive ways of coping.
but this isnāt about that. before the final fight, he even grabs the golden apple him and bdubs had been stashing away, saying if they canāt win, no one can. he wouldāve ate it. he shouldāve ate it. yet he didnāt, and he died by bdubsās hand again. more resentment grows.
by limited life, itās obvious heās open to dabbling into more chaotic pastimes. bdubsās ignorance and unwillingness to see his flaws and apologize only fuels the fire. when heās chosen as the boogeyman, he has a time with it. but he still has the mind to know not to hurt his team, even refusing to use skizzās accidental death to cleanse himself. but he bombs bread bridge freely, somehow even getting tango and skizz to help him. itās almost concerning how much fun he has with it.
then of course thereās the complete destruction of bread bridge, which he happily takes part in. and tangoās boogey kill on bdubs, in which he lures bdubs to his demise (something he had been itching to do for seasons). he amasses a huge kill count over the season, his first time murdering anyone since third life.
most of his behavior this season turns more outward, and he grows more keen on sustaining himself the more faith his team puts in him. he is also shown to hold other alliances much less dear than ties, even if they benefit him. this results in the betrayal of many, most notably mean gills in the finale. he fights like hell, he gets his final revenge on bdubs and ends his season, and yet it still isnāt enough.
he begs martyn to kill him, because heās alone, and heās scared, and he did all he was asked to do. but they keep him around, despite his pleas. heās given the illusion of free will, a chance to win, to be given a fair fight. martyn slaughters him in cold blood. a cruel betrayal.
secret life feels like a reset, and most scores are settled, and secret tasks heavily dictate how the sessions go. he isnāt given the chance to cause mass destruction like he could the season prior. heās not sure if he wants to. most of his mistakes are honest, no self destructive or malicious intent, same with his tasks.
heās with a team he can trust and confide in. they help him. they care about him. his first two deaths are consensual and willing, somethingās heās never known. the season is rough, but heās happy. he tries to use his trap as heās being chased, risky as it was, a final act of stubbornness.
he dies, alone and scared, hearts quivering. nothingās new. heāll just have to be ready to cope again tomorrow. get some blood of his hands, whether itās his enemies or his own.
