Child!Roman: Patton, look, Iām melting butter!
Patton:: Thatās great, Roman. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.
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Child!Roman: Patton, look, Iām melting butter!
Patton:: Thatās great, Roman. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.

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Sanders Sides Soulmate AU , Highschool AU
Tw: Unsympathetic Patton
AU where the place where your soulmate first will touch you has a mark. One of the other lights having a mark on a unusual spot (like on the nose or a other place). Patton knowing one of the darks has a crush on that person and seeing the black mark and purposefully touches it so the other light believes Patton is his soulmate. But the dark with the crush being the actual soulmate.
So I figured out why I've been iffy about R/yality and R/ceit.
Both ships feel rly toxic tbh..
Bc R/ceit, obviously, Janus can just give Roman a few compliments and he's wrapped around that scaly fucking finger. And that's not Roman's fault, Janus uses his insecurities against him to make him trust him. And then once they have that trust, he can say whatever the fuck he wants, because once again, he can just go "oh.. you poor thing.. it's okay pretty prince, you'll be okay.." and start wrapping him around his finger again.
And R/yality, Patton doesn't even have to do anything. Roman is already 100% prepared to do whatever Patton wants. All Patton would have to do is start to distance them, and then once Roman gets desperate, he could convince him to do literally anything. Like, anything. And Roman would do it, because Patton is morality, he's perfect, and Roman is nothing compared to that. He wants Patton's love and adoration, and he's being convinced that the only way to get that is to do whatever Patton says at all times. Like a servant.
Patton's part is mostly "what if" but yeah, I just... *sigh* Patton and Janus give me the bad vibes now tbh.
(Edit: Censored the ships bc I didn't want it to show up when you search them. I forgot tho- so.. I'm sorry))
Patton's Highschool AU Headcanons
He is a Junior.
He has hazel brown hair and freckles and wears round Harry Potter glasses.
Speaking of which, he loves Harry Potter. His favourite characters are Ginny and Luna.
He's very smart, but doesn't show it much and prefers being cute to being smart.
He knows that his relationship with Roman is extremely toxic, but since he tends to see the best in people, he tries to ignore it.
He feels bad for not being close to Remus anymore.
He knows everyone, as in, everyone down to their names, ages, birthdays, likes and dislikes, traumas, crushes, favourites, weak points, etc. That's partly the reason that Roman keeps him around.
He has atleast one of each pet type living in his back yard, except for apiders and tarantulas.
He lives with his mother after his parents divorced.
He is dyslexic.
He gives the best hug.
I feel like that's not even a headcanon anymore.
If he could, he would've adopted every single kid he saw on the streets.
That's it for Patton's headcanons! Next up's Logan!
-The Crimson Storyteller
Ā So, Iāve been playing around with the concept of unsymph!Patton fusions for a while now, and finally got the guts to upload it here, so...I want you to meet Foivos!
edit: I made a mistake! Itās Foivos not Fovios! Please ignore that!
So, Foivos is pretty obviously a royality fusion, although Patton is the one in charge here. I couldnāt fit everything onto the image so down below is more info on him:

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Roman struggles with ADHD, but Patton tells him heās simply lazy and rude to want to speak about his passions all the time. Logan gets a stutter and wants to see a speech therapist about it, but Patton tells him that someone smart like him shouldnāt get a stutter. Virgil hates skin contact too much, but Patton insists that heās touch starved and hugs him all the time. Just... Patton deliberately making the other Light Sides feel like theyāre worthless or broken in some way.
Adhd Roman:
Calls him lazy all the time
Refuses to believe executive dysfunction is a thing
Tells him he's just not trying hard enough
Adhd doesn't affect you that much you're just blowing it out of proportion!
Never let's him talk about his hyper fixations
Stutter Logan:
Mocks stutter in a "light hearted dad" way
You're so smart I'm sure you can get rid of it!
Claims he's faking it
Never texts him always calls despite knowing that's hard for him
Pretends to gain a stutter just so he can prove how easy it is to fix
Anti skin to skin Virgil:
You're just touch starved!!
Constantly holds hands all the time
Hugs that Virgil hates
Cuddles and pulls Virgil into all physical affection
You'll get use to it and like it the more you feel it!!
Okay but I have this headcanon that whenever a creativitwin is playing the piano the other can tell and plays it too (specifically the song safe and sound by Taylor swift) and itās the only time when they are calm. But Patton finds out. Canāt really come up with a reaction right now but Iād like to see your thoughts! ā¢uā¢
Patton's eyes narrow, and with a snap of his fingers the piano in Roman's room disappears. Roman feels tears sting his eyes. "Padre, why?"
"Because you should know better then to play with the dark sides."
"He's using you. We all know he's a liar!" "The only one who seems like a liar here is you." (abusive Patton finding out about roceit?)
Patton gasps at Roman's words. "How dare you! I am your father!"
"No, you're not," Roman responds, taking Deceit's hands. "I'd say you're my dad, but you've lost that title too. I'm an adult, and you have no control over me."