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Bilbo, pointing: May I sit there?
Thorin: That's my lap.
Bilbo: That doesn't answer my question, Thorin.
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Thranduil: New year, same me, because I am perfect.
Outside the gates of Erebor, before the Battle of the Five Armies
Bard, very drunk: Fight me you nerd ass punk.
Thranduil, also very drunk: At least try to sound sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Bard: Does thou wish to engage in a duel my good ....bitch.
Thranduil: Somehow that was worse.
Elrond: Do you ever think before you speak?
Glorfindel: I think “wow, that’s hilarious” then I say it.
Thranduil (about Thorin): He called me ugly on the inside and the outside! I’m sorry, but he’s just wrong about the outside part.
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Dwalin: True warriors don't faint. We take unintended, decisive naps.
