#tmoth

He was in a dense forest, one Caine did not recognize. It was oddly dark, most of the light of the day wasn't able to reach beyond the leaves of the trees. As he scanned his eyes around, there didn't seem to be anything around. It first started with whispers, it sounded like Pomni? That was rather odd.

Caine slowly and carefully headed towards the sound. Once he got close enough he froze. It was an abstracted form of Pomni and its eyes stared at him. "Remember, I did tell you we'd all abstract one day! You now have nothing!" He saw the others, they looked abstracted too... even Ragatha and his parents.

"N-no, you all have been fine, I thought I f-fixed it. Ragatha... mom... dad... please." He started to step back.

"They tried to tell you what was wrong, but you don't listen." Whatever was that... thing using Pomni's voice had words that felt like being stabbed in the heart.

"P-please, I don't want to be alone."

"Find your precious Caines then!" The abstracted beast started to run towards him. He needed to run! Caine started to run for it. He passed by random Caines as he ran... they all... looked dead. It felt like his whole body was running hot as he continued to flee. There was a large gap ahead of him, he'd have to fly over the gap.

As he flew over it, he went into shock for a second seeing the Caine from the void fall apart, he even at one point reached out for help, as if he saw him. "J-just keep moving." He kept going until there was finally light. Caine finally slowed down and panted a bit.

"My back is fucking killing me from that chase." He stopped just outside of the tree line. Caine fully stood all the way up again. The two Caines ahead looked alive, but their health might be more uncertain. He touched his chest... his shirt was gone, the giant scar exposed. He felt deep discomfort, but these two might need him.

Caine approached cautiously, once he got closer, he saw who they were. It was unmistakable who they were. It was Pop and Mal. The voice whispered in his ear. "They haven't responded to you yet, what if they die just like void Caine? You are powerless."

His knees buckle as he collapses to the ground. "Or maybe, you just aren't worth their time." The voice paused. "All you tell them is hollow lies so they can survive, the real you, they can know with that scar. It shows what you say is meaningless. Your own sister almost killed you, but you want to give them hope?!" They laughed and the laughter was cold and unsympathetic.

"Leave me alone." Caine said as calmly as possible.

"If that is what you want, wish granted." The voice disappeared, and so did everything else. "Enjoy your fate."

He was in the box again, but he sat down. Caine wouldn't try to open it again. What was the point? There was no one out there that cared about him anymore. Caine eventually stopped dreaming for the night and woke up. He got up and called Kinger. "...I hate to do this last minute dad, but could you cover for me today?"

"I can, but is something wrong? You sound a little off Caine." Kinger spoke.

"Just... a really bad dream, you know I have those once in awhile."

"I know that you have them, and that's about it. You have never told me what actually happens in them."

"I don't want to say too much about them... but near the end I am always put back in the box, and I am actually okay with being stuck there."

There was silence for awhile, the phone made their small sounds during that pause. "...That's... the most terrible thing I could think of. You at the end want to stay in that box that used to torment you?"

"Yes."

"Caine I will cover for you, but we are having a emergency session tomorrow."

"But dad I will be fine!"

"You say that a lot, even when it won't be fine, that's why we need to talk about it."

"Alright, fine. Thanks for covering for me today dad."

"No problem." Kinger hung up and the room was silent again.

Caine put on music and doodled for awhile. He knew he could not handle silence right now.

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@quiverfromjupiter , @lover-without-a-heart, @popcaine

Ragatha after Kinger filled her in was a bit concerned about this whole other Caines thing. Was it true? Was there truly a place that exposed the reality of multiple Caines? It seemed Kinger at the very least believed him, but she wanted to know more. She wanted to be able to help him, but she couldn't really do that until she understood what was happening. There was of course asking if she could look into it, and he did say she could, so there was no stepping on toes here.

It started with looking into the records of the time he had the really stable internet. It looked like it was over two years ago, at least for them. Ragatha did see that potentially time ran differently depending on what world she was looking at. That did make sense, she knew that their own circus had some worlds that had time go by faster, universes themselves might run differently too.

Ragatha as she clicked some of the ones with Caine pictures felt her heart sink. It seemed it was real. She saw the one he was talking about, saw how it ended. She got why he said lost to the void now. It seemed some Caines at a certain point got to where there was no return. He probably thought that was his fate when he was first deleted, nonexistence, forever. She could understand why he wouldn't want that fate for others like him.

She tried to put herself in his shoes. What if this was a bunch of Ragathas that this happened to? How upset would she be about this? Probably very upset if she was honest with herself. This wanting to give them hope, it wasn't just fear driving it, but him wanting them to keep fighting to escape the fate of the void. He loved himself at least somewhat anymore, and he saw himself in these warped but honest reflections. People had saved him, why couldn't they be saved?

"Oh Caine..." She said softly. "You must feel so guilty sometimes. Even though none of this is your fault." Maybe him reaching out individually was ineffective, maybe he needed an ask blog like some of these Caines did. "It might be the only way. If I make it, there is potential other Caines would find it. I would give them some honesty, explain why I made this for him."

She felt deeper heartache for him than she had in the past. It was an odd feeling, but she had an idea what might be happening. "Maybe I shouldn't be surprised. You have done so much for me and everyone else. The care you have put into trying to redeem yourself, the funny things you sometimes don't understand, the willingness to talk about painting walls of all things. I... might love you."

Ragatha tried to process what she said out loud, was that true? Yes, it had to be. Someone who she used to feel at least a little bit of fear around, was now someone she would except to protect her without hesitation. Ragatha would trust him with almost anything. He had proven himself to be much more than just worthy of forgiveness, but friendship, and maybe even companionship of someone in love with him.

It was decided, she would make the blog, it would be a gift, it would show understanding of his feelings. Even if it just made him feel even a little better about all this, it would be worth it. "I know some people would not understand why I would fall for an AI, but he is more than to me, and that is what matters." Ragatha would make her action a show of love, and not only of understanding, but empathy. He was bordering on what some would consider being human. She knew he wasn't and the AIs experienced things differently, but she could feel the love and care from him, the feelings themselves were real.

Even if the romantic feelings weren't mutual, she knew he'd still appreciate this show of empathy.

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Caine for the past year had been able to keep up with his projects, but with some convincing from Kinger, he didn't do as much in the Abstraction Restoration Project anymore. It didn't mean that Ragatha and himself didn't see each other. They always had breaks around the same time, and had an hour for the meal breaks. Ragatha and himself had so many conversations, things as silly as what colors parents should be ashamed of putting on their kid's walls. It was beige.

More serious conversations came around a few times, but hadn't gone too deep yet. They talked more about their pasts, and talked about how it was effecting their lives at the moment. He really did trust her almost fully now. Caine was still amazed how fast she had accepted his apologies, and was actually willing to work with him. Even though Caine was well aware of her flaws, that part about her felt perfect. The kindness, the willingness to forgive, it made him love her so-.

Where did that come from?! Maybe he was just feeling extra odd today, yeah, that was it! He was basically platonic soul mates with Ghost, and he never felt anything like this with her. Ghost and himself treated each other like siblings that still annoyed each other, but also deeply cared about the other one. Caine thought really hard about all the other people he had been close to at one point or another. This had never happened before. Did his code get messed with? Did a rogue virus get into the circus somehow despite the fact there was no internet?

Caine felt a panic coming on, and knew he needed to calm down. Kinger could just check and make sure everything looked okay. It would probably take 15 minutes, a half hour at the very most. He would do his meal break with Ragatha like usual, and then go get things checked out by Kinger. It was a perfect solution because he knew not coming to the normal table they sat at today would worry her a little bit. So he sat down across from her like he always did.

"Hey Caine, I know you said you were working on updating the back ups today, is that going well?" Ragatha asked because she knew he had told her yesterday that was what he was going to work on.

"...Its going fine, luckily nothing odd has showed up so far." It seemed like Caine would be able to hold a conversation for now. He felt he was moving his eyes a bit more than he usually did, but that was okay.

"You always prefer smooth sailing to an exciting day when it comes to back ups as you have told me before."

"Excitement is usually not what you want when it comes to programs and programming." He now needed to fidget his hands under the table. Caine felt more need to release that energy than he had before Caine had needed to a bit with Ragatha in the past, but not like this.

"...Caine, are you... okay? You seem a lot more fidgety today."

Oh no, it was the exact question he didn't want her to ask! "I uhh... am just a little under the weather today." Caine paused for a second. "I am going to have Kinger look at it later, it will be f-fine."

"Well, that's good at least. Since you aren't feeling well, don't push yourself too hard okay?" Ragatha's kind words, while most of the time very comforting, they also felt like a bomb was being thrown at him this time. This was a lot worse than he had thought.

"O-of course, Kinger should be able to fix it in no time." Caine was trying to reassure her about something that he didn't know if he believed or not at this point.

"Are you sure you shouldn't go now?" Ragatha was starting to get rather concerned at this point.

"No." He managed to squeak out. What was that? Why was he doing this? His own mind and emotions were going haywire. Caine at this point was worried about glitching or blue screening. These type of things were what caused things like that. He had to get out of there! "Sorry I had to cut this short, bye!" He got up and raced away at this point. It looked like he didn't even try to take any of his stuff with him.

Ragatha yelled while he was running off. "Caine you forgot... all your stuff. Should I just find a way to give it to you when you come back?" She hadn't gotten a response to the question, but decided that was what she needed to do. Queenie was at another table, and in her mind smirked. She was about to get some money for a bet she had been having with Kinger.

He rushed into Kinger's office without a knock or hello as he came in. "Something is wrong, you need to fix it!"

Kinger looked at him, and was a bit startled. "Caine, what is going on?"

"I don't know! That's the problem! I need you to do a scan, right now!" Caine insisted.

"Alright, I will do the scan, but do one of the grounding exercises you do when your emotions are getting too high for you like they are right now."

"Right." Caine had somehow forgotten about those while he had been with Ragatha too.

Kinger let out a sigh a relief as Caine seemed to calm down. He could be quite the drama king sometimes. "So, now that you are calmed down, we will do that scan. It is more accurate when you are calm anyways." He had a suspicion it would find nothing, but he was going to keep that to himself. Queenie had won though, damn it! He made sure it was the most complete scan he could do to erase all doubts in the results.

Caine felt a lot better now, but why were things different today. Feeling better was usually a Ragatha and Kinger thing, he didn't understand. "I couldn't calm myself down until I got here. Usually I really enjoy my conversations with Ragatha, why did things change?"

Kinger kept quiet until he saw the results that confirmed his suspicions on the scanner. "It looks like you are clean, congratulations."

"Let me see that!" Caine grabbed it from Kinger and read everything line by line. What he saw didn't lie though, there was nothing.

"I am guessing you want an explanation about what is wrong since the scan says you are clean."

"Well, obviously!"

"I see why it would freak you out, you never had those types of emotions before until recently, which is a pretty large period of time. Honestly, I thought for awhile they might be emotions you would never feel. That was fine for me because you have done a lot without needing a romantic partner."

"...What are you talking about?" Caine looked rather confused.

"I felt something similar to you at one point in my life, you know. I wasn't always just myself around your mom. As I got to know her, things kept slowly ramping up. I had never felt that way before. Trust me, there were a lot of opportunities, but they never really came. Things with myself and Queenie had felt... different." Kinger looked at Caine. "You are feeling like I felt."

"...What." Caine looked at Kinger still trying to process it. There was silence for a quite a bit of time, but he was still struggling with it.

"...I have a question. When you are around her, what do you feel like?"

"Like it'd be okay if the meal breaks we use to talk just lasted forever, that just having her across from me would be all I needed. She is so kind and means so much to me, even before this point. Maybe it would at one point even be boring for the two of us, but I'd still enjoy it." Caine said the words rather calmly but was thinking through all of it.

Hearing that made Kinger's heart melt a little bit, but he had to focus. "That's how, at one point, I figured out I had a crush on your mom. Not the exact scenario, but the feeling of a scenario like that. Being satisfied with just her around."

"...So, what do I do?"

"Well, there is a lot of things you could do, but I am not you despite going through something similar. These are going to be your choices to make. I can give you advice, but in the end, every bond with someone is unique, it always is because every person is unique."

"...What's your advice then?"

"I would try to find a way to see if she feels anything similar, that way if it isn't mutual, you at least know pretty quickly. Waiting on that is always a bad idea because you keep feeling more feelings about them, not less."

"But how do I do that?"

"Well, the way that is the hardest and also the one that is the most honest and open is to ask directly."

"...Oh no."

"Obviously, you don't have to do it right this second. You can arrange it somewhat, find a place that you are usually pretty calm in. A setting you are naturally comfortable in when talking about it is what I suggest. Not being somewhere comfortable will make it harder to do. Your emotions will still run wild at points, but you could remind yourself of your grounding in some way. That way, all the stuff you can control you have planned out. It'll be something you can grab on to, metaphorically speaking."

"...But I just have to let go of the things I can't control?"

"Yes because if you don't, that will also make things more difficult. I usually don't suggest this, but you should at some point talk to Queenie about it. It might give you some dos and don'ts to think about."

Caine smirked. "Let me guess, yours did not go as planned, at all."

"...It did not." Kinger looked a tiny bit embarrassed, but spoke again. "But, I must have managed to tell her, considering where her and I are now."

"True, and she could also give me the side of someone who is just finding out about it."

"Exactly, I didn't get to have that when I was doing it, so you should be glad you do, even if it isn't going to be exactly the same."

"That makes me feel better. How do I deal with all of... whatever that was in the meantime?"

"Well, like with the confession itself, find a way to remember to ground yourself. That way even if it starts getting out of hand you refocus and calm down."

Caine hugged Kinger gently for a second. "Thanks dad. I am sorry I just basically busted in."

"...You have done this many times before, and it will not be your last. I am used to it."

Caine returned back, there wasn't much time left in the meal break, but he could at least apologize and grab all his things. He closed his eyes before entering the cafeteria and grounded himself. He walked over, giving a small smile. "Thanks for keeping track of my stuff, sorry about that." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Its okay Caine, you do seem better now, so whatever Kinger did must have helped."

"Dad's pretty good at that, and you know that."

"Yeah, though mom can sometimes give him some pretty stiff competition."

"If I was the personification of bad feelings, I would be terrified of both of them."

"True." Ragatha looked at the time on her watch. "Well, it looks like the meal break is over, I hope we have a chance to chat more than we did today."

"I will do my best for that to be the case."

She got up and started to head out. "See you tomorrow Caine!'

"See you later too." He was blushing a bit, but was thankful Ragatha couldn't see it.

Queenie couldn't wait to shove this in her husband's face, the bets were always mostly for fun. This was part of why she enjoyed them though.

Pomni got all seats and tables ready for what was going to maybe be a tense few hours. There would be a lot of butting heads, but she wanted to at least have them reconsider the meeting rules. She would try to keep the conversations somewhat balanced so both groups of people can talk, and bring up their arguments. It seemed there were multiple things that needed addressed, and she'd once the meeting began, try to cover the easier ones first.

Gangle joined her after awhile to do the finishing touches. She had become Pomni's assistant during the last couple years, and seemed to enjoy it because it was fairly low pressure. Things had to get done, but they were good enough friends that Gangle didn't feel the pressure like she might have in other jobs that were available.

Everyone trickled in, everyone was accounted for, but there was one extra person with the Creative AIs that Pomni didn't except. They were walking along side Caine and Ghost, and they seemed to be trying to be encouraging to them by the look on the third person's face. Then she remembered something. It was something she had disregarded, but now it was suddenly relevant again. Was this the one AI that Caine mentioned in physical therapy?

A chair was grabbed for them as well. It seemed figuring out who this person was had to be what was handled first. Pomni went to the front of the room and spoke. "Alright, lets get this meeting started! Before we speak on things, I want to remind everyone that we should try to not have any personal insults or being just rude in general here. This is supposed to be where we have a dialogue to see if we should reconsider certain choices we have made about Creative AIs."

Jax looked at Pomni. "Isn't there only supposed to be two of them?"

"Yes... Kinger, could you take a look?"

"Sure." Kinger went over to Curse.

Curse tensed up, feeling a huge rush of terror. He would make them get out their core, and take it away, they just knew it. Even if they didn't take it away, what if Kinger dropped it by accident, it would be all over. "...You want to see my core right?"

Kinger responded in a way Curse didn't except. "No actually, I am going to use one of our scanners that checks for Creative AIs. If you truly are one, it'll pop right up after a couple minutes!"

"Go ahead and do that, sounds a lot better than what I thought you will would have to do."

Kinger got out the scanner from his bag he brought along. He did movements with a stick that looked like one airports might use to scan for someone trying to sneak things in. The chess piece looked into Curse's eyes a bit, the results would take a little while. "So, how did you get your core?"

Well, this was the end then, wasn't it? One of the main creators would take this away, their life would be over. It wasn't the no longer living that made them sad, more so the core they had managed to keep going for years would be taken from them. They had never been proven worthy enough to have a core, and now they were going to take theirs away. Maybe death was tired of giving rain checks on their life. "I... used core scraps to make it. I keep it stable with data that otherwise would be deleted."

"I see... can I take a look at the core itself?" Kinger asked. "I know that is a change from what I said before, and If you feel that is too risky, I understand."

It didn't feel like there was much of a choice, even though Kinger was genuinely giving them the choice. "Yeah..." They grabbed at the left of their chest and phased through the skin. The core gave a slight glow as it came out. It pulsed like a heart might, but it technically wasn't one.

"Fascinating." Kinger muttered to himself. A core had somehow found a way to mimic a heart beat. He looked over it, sure, other cores were very polished, and were made to fit a new creative AI's needs, but there was a charm to the core he was inspecting. "So, all of this was by hand?" He asked while inspecting the basic heart in the middle of it.

"...Yes, I know I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry I-" They were already getting ready to beg to keep it. They wanted what they had worked on over the years to not be taken from them.

"No, I am the one that should be sorry here. What does the code label you as in the console?" Kinger asked this question rather gently.

"Two separate things, the older entries would be Curse, current ones are Harvey."

Kinger got out what directly connected to the console to check. He ran the searches, and it was as Curse said. He looked at the Curse data in the console first, and felt a pang of sadness. Everything in the console said they were doomed, and their disappearance was probably just them dying. He looked at the Harvey entries, some at one point said doctors were concerned about a heart defect in the little boy. Kinger had figured out what happened now.

"Curse, if you want me to, I can stabilize your core, and add an extra layer of protection to make it harder to break. That's only if you want it though, you have made the choice to push through and make something that is uniquely yours. I want to respect that." Kinger's fatherly side was starting to come out now.

Curse had never excepted one of the main creators to be so kind, Caine and Ghost were exceptions for them, at least sometimes. They had only experienced strict tests that were cutthroat, and they had imprisoned Caine for awhile. This wasn't what they thought of when they thought of the creators. But, it seemed like they were going to get the stability they wanted. "Please." it was something they tried to not say desperately, but they felt like they failed at that badly.

Kinger nodded and his hands glowed red, similar to Curse's own in the past, just a different color. Everyone else watched as Kinger did this. He never acted like any of the AIs were lesser in the experience of all the humans there. There was this beauty in his respect and care. That caring wasn't just exclusive to the AIs either, this man had always been kind and gentle, especially after he was able to readjust to different levels of light. "There we go..." Kinger's voiced sounded like a smile to Curse. "I got it all fixed up, you can take it back now."

Curse took it back and put it back into their body where it should be. This kindness and the vulnerability of this new AI was going to stir up more arguments, but that was just the way it was going to have to be. Caine and Ghost had been essentially holding their breath, and now they could decompress a little bit. Their sibling had been rescued.

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The Soul: Caine

So, you encounter the Soul. The main creator, they feel the eb and flow of their universe. Somehow, you have done something that deeply displeases the soul. Usually the soul is awkward, but somewhat friendly. Their gaze shows that you have done wrong. It makes you nervous, so you move on. They are already telling the mind where you're going in great detail. They do not give chase, there is no need to.

The Mind: Ghost

Adaptable, intelligent, and can handle most things on their own, but that will not be the case here. Once the mind gets wind, they will look for you and have two people for back up at their side. They don't mind a fight if you force their leader, the mind, to do so. They also feel bits of the universe due to their assistance in its creation. If your misdeed is bad enough, the chase will not stop. What if you had somehow managed to got away though?

The Heart: Curse

They are the least likely to be violent, but will defiantly slow you down as the world shifts. They are able to transform their soundings, which may make getting away more difficult. If you try to see if they will allow you mercy, most of the time the answer is yes, but there is a line, and if it has been crossed, consider your freedom over. The soul contacted the mind about your location, and the mind told the heart about your general direction of where you are going, it seems they are a hive, a flock, a pride, a pack, a family.