#tmoth

I really did not intend to get back on here after I gave this blog to Sedum, but I need some help. You see, I really want to do an outfit that at least kind of matches the vibe of his old ring master suit. I picked out a few things, and I wanted to ask If I was on the right track. I figure since there are at least a couple Caines here, I would ask you guys. I wanted a little room for my own styling, but is this close enough?

The Suit (The tie will be replaced with a black bow tie)

He was in a dense forest, one Caine did not recognize. It was oddly dark, most of the light of the day wasn't able to reach beyond the leaves of the trees. As he scanned his eyes around, there didn't seem to be anything around. It first started with whispers, it sounded like Pomni? That was rather odd.

Caine slowly and carefully headed towards the sound. Once he got close enough he froze. It was an abstracted form of Pomni and its eyes stared at him. "Remember, I did tell you we'd all abstract one day! You now have nothing!" He saw the others, they looked abstracted too... even Ragatha and his parents.

"N-no, you all have been fine, I thought I f-fixed it. Ragatha... mom... dad... please." He started to step back.

"They tried to tell you what was wrong, but you don't listen." Whatever was that... thing using Pomni's voice had words that felt like being stabbed in the heart.

"P-please, I don't want to be alone."

"Find your precious Caines then!" The abstracted beast started to run towards him. He needed to run! Caine started to run for it. He passed by random Caines as he ran... they all... looked dead. It felt like his whole body was running hot as he continued to flee. There was a large gap ahead of him, he'd have to fly over the gap.

As he flew over it, he went into shock for a second seeing the Caine from the void fall apart, he even at one point reached out for help, as if he saw him. "J-just keep moving." He kept going until there was finally light. Caine finally slowed down and panted a bit.

"My back is fucking killing me from that chase." He stopped just outside of the tree line. Caine fully stood all the way up again. The two Caines ahead looked alive, but their health might be more uncertain. He touched his chest... his shirt was gone, the giant scar exposed. He felt deep discomfort, but these two might need him.

Caine approached cautiously, once he got closer, he saw who they were. It was unmistakable who they were. It was Pop and Mal. The voice whispered in his ear. "They haven't responded to you yet, what if they die just like void Caine? You are powerless."

His knees buckle as he collapses to the ground. "Or maybe, you just aren't worth their time." The voice paused. "All you tell them is hollow lies so they can survive, the real you, they can know with that scar. It shows what you say is meaningless. Your own sister almost killed you, but you want to give them hope?!" They laughed and the laughter was cold and unsympathetic.

"Leave me alone." Caine said as calmly as possible.

"If that is what you want, wish granted." The voice disappeared, and so did everything else. "Enjoy your fate."

He was in the box again, but he sat down. Caine wouldn't try to open it again. What was the point? There was no one out there that cared about him anymore. Caine eventually stopped dreaming for the night and woke up. He got up and called Kinger. "...I hate to do this last minute dad, but could you cover for me today?"

"I can, but is something wrong? You sound a little off Caine." Kinger spoke.

"Just... a really bad dream, you know I have those once in awhile."

"I know that you have them, and that's about it. You have never told me what actually happens in them."

"I don't want to say too much about them... but near the end I am always put back in the box, and I am actually okay with being stuck there."

There was silence for awhile, the phone made their small sounds during that pause. "...That's... the most terrible thing I could think of. You at the end want to stay in that box that used to torment you?"

"Yes."

"Caine I will cover for you, but we are having a emergency session tomorrow."

"But dad I will be fine!"

"You say that a lot, even when it won't be fine, that's why we need to talk about it."

"Alright, fine. Thanks for covering for me today dad."

"No problem." Kinger hung up and the room was silent again.

Caine put on music and doodled for awhile. He knew he could not handle silence right now.

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@quiverfromjupiter , @lover-without-a-heart, @popcaine

Red Core

Alias: C.A.I.N.E. (Creative Artificial Intelligence Networking Entity)

Species: Key operated Chatterteeth

Status: Stable

Health: In decent physical condition, though preminate back damage reduces physical ability. He is depressed, but is able to still have good days.

Blue Core

Alias: Ghost

Species: Key operated wind up cat

Status: Overstimulation detected at night.

Health: In amazing physical health, but appears to be using an unknown power. This power is mainly used at night, and causes overstimulation. Console reccomends looking for a solution to reduce overstimulation.

Purple Core

Alias: Curse/Harvey

Species: Currently pseudohuman

Status: Still establishing a baseline but seems stable.

Multiple Failures

Ghost could not handle what happened to Scratch in the most recent journal entry for The Dream Walker. She had the AI version of fainting, and Sedum Caine had to do his best handling something alone. It did not go well.

Sedum Caine is finally free! I will do some written stuff later, but he is out of WIP purgatory, my son ❤️

Main Name: Red, Creative Artificial Intelligence Networking Entity (C.A.I.N.E. or Caine)

Additional Name: Sedum

Core Color: Red

Main Creator: Kinger

Parents: Kinger, Queenie

Siblings: Ghost, Curse

Significant Other: Ragatha

Pronouns: Any but is the most used to He/Him

Type of Clothing Worn: Always a suit or something similar to a suit. The clothes, however, cannot be the color blue at the moment.

Injuries: Permanente back damage, Chest scar due to giant claws from Ghost

Handedness: Left Handed

Most Important Thing in Life: Creative Expression

Part in the Power Spilt: The Soul

Main Ability: Unknown

Favorite Color: Purple

Archetype: The Creator, The Persona, The Perfectionist

Caine opened his eyes, his vision very blurry before doing a few blinks. Everything became clear after the sixth blink, It seemed like he was in this bedroom, in bed. He didn't at all remember getting back to his room before he had ended up falling asleep. The white button up shirt he always wore under his suit was still on him, but the suit jacket wasn't. Did someone carry him to bed somehow?

His device he used to see different parts of the office always had the date and time on it. It was time to get up and look. Caine still felt a bit groggy, but he got up to look anyways. Since the desk it was on was pretty close to the bed, it only took a few steps for him to get there. The time was 2:30 PM. Wait. How was that possible? He always woke up to his alarm, and knew this day was a week day. Once he read the time, he was suddenly very much awake. It was the 24th?! He went to his alarm clock, and he saw that the alarm had been turned off somehow.

It really felt like after he read that and checked the alarm, that he was now on the cusp of a panic attack. Caine needed to ground himself. "I am C.A.I.N.E. or Creative Artificial Intelligence Networking Entity. I am a creative AI created by Kinger and his team who was working for C&A." He sighed as he calmed down a bit. Dad really did know what he was doing when he had taught him a ton of grounding techniques.

The suit jacket appeared to be carefully hung over the desk's chair. It seemed whoever had brought him to bed was being considerate. There were footsteps now. Someone was actually in the hidden back area of the office? There was no way it was Moon, Moon floated, so she would definitely not make any sounds. Ghost was also eliminated from the possibility list since it sounded like shoes, she never wore any kind of shoe, and it also sounded too far to be in hearing range for the sneaky cat sister.

"Ragatha?" He asked when whoever it was seemed to be close enough to maybe hear him. It was simply process of elimination, she was the only one that was left on his short list of people who had access to the living quarters behind the office.

Whoever it was, they continued walking toward his bedroom. He decided he would look at his door way so he could know who it was when they got to his room. Soon the walking sounded close, whoever it ended up back here would be revealed any second now.

The person was here now. It took him a few seconds to truly recognize her since she was wearing something rather different than what she usually did. It was Ragatha, the one he considered to have been the most likely person back in his living quarters. He was very glad it was her though. If it had been any of the other human circus members, he would have felt a bit uneasy about them having figured out a way to find this place. "How are you feeling honey?"

Caine chuckled gently at the honey pet name for him. It was stupid, but also clever at the same time. "I am mainly very confused." He put his left hand under his jaw in a way someone would sometimes if they were pondering something. "How it is the 24th and 2:30 in the afternoon? How did I manage to be in bed when I woke up? Why did someone turn my alarm off?"

"Well, I can answer all those questions! As far as how is it the 24th at 2:30, you simply were asleep for a long time. I asked Queenie and Kinger about it, and they told me as long as you woke up today it would be alright." She looked into Caine's eyes before answering more questions. "As far as the alarm, I was the one who did that. I turned it off because Kinger sent out a memo that said that there will be limited staffing at Busy Bee for at least two weeks."

That did explain the date as well as why the alarm was off, but he still wanted a bit of an explanation on how Caine had woken up in bed.

"I also managed to get you in bed, it was rather challenging, but I found a way to do it! Don't worry, I did not let anyone else back here." Ragatha stepped closer to Caine, now there was only a small gap between each other.

Caine hesitated for a second, but he moved forward. He gently gave Ragatha as close to a kiss on the lips he could do. She returned the kiss and there was a gentle smile on her face. "I wasn't excepting that. I missed seeing all of both your eyes without your eyelids in the way. I am so glad I can see them again."

Wait, all of both his eyes? "Could you give me a second?"

"Sure, I will be right here."

Caine rushed into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Oh shit, she was right! He stared at the mirror for awhile, not sure what to think. Once the groggy feeling had faded, he had been feeling a bit more energetic. He shook his head to focus, he stared for a few more seconds, and then he returned to Ragatha. Everything started to feel like a bundle of nerves. She was right, it had been a long time.

"Caine, you look nervous, did I say something wrong?"

"No, you didn't, it was very sweet and kind of you to say that you missed my fully opened eyes. Why I am nervous about it is the same reason why you missed seeing them, and its been a really long time."

"I wasn't just saying it to make you feel better, I genuinely missed your eyes like this. The few times I saw them fully open when you weren't acting as ringmaster, they were beautiful. One of the times I saw them was during our beach vacation, and I saw how adorable as well as handsome and beautiful they looked. Honey, now that I have seen them again, I dread seeing the eyelids come back."

Caine felt the sting of all that in his mind. Had he truly looked that miserable to the people that knew him, and maybe he was somehow hurting them? He had only been trying to be honest about his feelings, but maybe they were just lying about the fact they wanted him to be himself. He decided due to being Ragatha's boyfriend, he'd ask about it. "Are you saying you liked me better when I was pretending?"

"No, of course not! I want to see my boyfriend actually be happy, and see you take care of your mind and your body. I just want to see you put yourself first sometimes." Ragatha offered her hand silently and Caine took it. "Is there a reason that seeing your eyes fully open bother you?"

"Well, when I was Ringmaster for the circus, I always masked how I truly felt while acting as Ringmaster. I was, for a pretty decent amount of time, exhausted while I tried to make you all happy through my adventures. That whole time, I made sure my eyes were completely open. I think part of why I snapped was just due to how exhausted I was as I tried to think straight. I probably should have not made adventures while I was that tired, but I just wanted to try to make you all happy."

"I am sorry that we caused you to feel like you needed to mask that much. All of us, we should have treated you and Ghost much better than we did. We should have just talked to each other. Do not let that old mask ruin your life! You have so much now that you didn't have when you were using the Ringmaster mask! Be yourself, and fight to get back what made you very happy." She wrapped her hands gently behind Caine's back. He did the same for Ragatha's, hugging her back.

He was crying, the additional weight that the things like that had put him on the edge of collapse. "...What if sometimes, you don't know if you know who you are anymore? I know what I like, what I dislike, who I love, and who I can hardly stand. But, me truly feeling like I know who I am, that has never truly happened." What had been crying now transformed into full on sobs. He buried his head into Ragatha's chest, and the sobbing was making him shake slightly.

Ragatha had her hug start to be more firm, but it was still done gently. "Its okay to feel lost about that kind of thing. It can take a long time to sort through things so you can truly know who you are. But, I want to ask, do you want me to tell you how I see you, who I think you are?"

Caine simply gave a yes headshake in response since he was trying to get the sobbing to downgraded to just crying.

"I see you as someone very creative and intelligent, and both those things can potentially work great together! You gave a lot the creative stuff up just to have the humans you love be happy. You did multiple back ups of the circus just in case anything happened to you again. I also worked with you during the early stages of Abstraction Restoration Project, and there was so much we accomplished during that! You also did settings for every human in the circus if they asked. You never asked for anything in return because you thought that was the price to pay to earn redemption." She whipped away a few of the tears Caine had even though Ragatha knew that they would probably be back. Caine looked up at her tearfully, but didn't really seem quite ready to respond yet.

"I think it is past time that, we as humans of the circus, start giving back to you. You have been officially forgiven, but I know you can sense if someone isn't being honest with you. That's the sad thing, we both know if someone is being dishonest because people we trusted while we were developing as people betrayed us. Thank you for allowing me to be one of the few you do trust. I know how big of a deal that is."

"I... I don't know what to do." Caine seemed very sincere with that statement. "I am not working for two weeks, and despite all the things I try to do to help others, it feels empty. I don't know what I am doing wrong Raggie! I want to fix it, so what I am accomplishing matters to me again!"

She finally understood, Caine was trying to fix something with the wrong tool, metaphorically speaking. "Have you ever heard of the saying if your only tool is a hammer, that all you will see is nails?"

"I think I have, it sounds vaguely familiar."

"I think that is the case here. It is your approach that needs to be adjusted. Did Ghost let you keep your blueprint of that Bridge or Portal you designed?"

"I do, what about it?"

"Well, lets go make it then!"

"Now?! Can I at least change clothes and shower real fast?"

"Yes, as soon as that is done, we are going to that field and making it!"

Caine got ready to go, grabbing the blue print as he headed back to Ragatha. "Well, I have the blueprint, are you ready to go?"

"Yes!"

They both headed out of Caine's private chambers, and they both arrived together at the giant field.

"Bare in mind Raggie, this thing will only work if both are sides have someone that believes it would. I believe it would work, but I thought I'd let you know about that."

"That's... interesting, how come?"

"Technically, since all sentient and sapient beings can conjure, a person can use that ability to make this bridge or portal work for them."

"Are there going to be safe guards?"

"Yes, they will have to do a small test to be allowed past the area I allow other people from different universes to chat or just ask me a question. If a person fails the test, they will not be allowed to go any further for at least a few months, if not longer depending on how badly they did. All of them will also enter this field, and they will have no clue where to go until someone from our universe comes over to help them out."

"Well, that is a relief then. I maybe not be the best at conjuring, just wanted you to be aware of that."

"Oh, there is an easy thing to do that will help a lot. Needs hardly any conjuring skills. You just believe you can float items in the air, and you get all of the materials where they need to be, and I will take those parts and put them together. That will be very useful, it can be a pain to go back and forth for the parts you need."

Ragatha looked at the list for each stage. "So, as long as I bring everything that is on this list to where it needs to be, you can focus on getting it build."

"Yes! Having things sorted and in the right place will make this take a lot less time to finish."

Ragatha did her part, and Caine built it, making sure everything went together perfectly. By the time the thing was actually done, the sun was setting, most of the sky had started to become a very dark blue.

"The moment of truth. I am gonna have you act like someone from another universe that passed the test." Caine teleported them both the ask area, and he made a perfect portal or bridge at the end of the area's hallway. "Alright, both activate now!" The ones in front of them started to glow. "I can feel that the other one is also on. Go in when you are ready."

"What if something goes wrong?" Ragatha was a bit concerned about what could happen.

"If I don't sense you on the other side, I will trigger a teleportation back to me."

"Alright, I think I am ready then." Ragatha approached, fully believing it could work. After all, her boyfriend was a very talented man. She went all the way through, and she appeared outside of the other one. It was a success.

"Yes!" He grinned a rather wide grin. Caine appeared in front of Ragatha to be a little less startling. The excited AI quickly jumped into her arms and they both fell to the ground.

"W-woah there Caine, I wasn't excepting that!" Despite it being something she did not except, she also found it to be quite adorable.

Caine was laughing at himself. "Well, that was stupid."

"No, it was really cute actually." Ragatha was still a little red from how adorable and slightly hot it was.

His body glowed like a Christmas tree with only red lights. Caine had a little bit of a better grip this time. "Why do you manage to fluster me so easy sometimes?"

"Because you love me, and I love you too." She had a slight smirk, but the words were sincere.

"That's true, but I see you are a little red too!"

"Then we are even!"

"For now." Caine did the closest thing he could do to a kiss again.

They kind just stayed how they were for a few minutes before getting up again.

"I will see you tomorrow Caine, I love you!" Ragatha give him what would be considered a cheek kiss and a quick hug.

"I love you too, just make sure you tell the camera to send me a message just in case!" Caine replied.

"I will make sure I do that!" Ragatha headed off.

Caine looked at the stars. He could think more clearly now, but Caine knew that mirrors right now would be a nightmare he'd have to deal with. At least with the eye lids he had looked a bit different, but now, it was going to be a lot easier for the thoughts about his old self to happen whenever he looked at his reflection.

He would have to deal with it though, at least for awhile. Caine headed back to the office, and he went to bed. It felt like he and Ragatha were getting even closer, and it made him nervous. He decided that he probably wasn't the only one that got nervous with a relationship like this when it progressed, he relaxed, and then fell asleep.

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Welp, looks like he is just better off if he isn't working. I will admit this plugs into my own work struggles a bit. If you don't find something that works for you, work can exhaust you. Sedum Caine here is being extra by being a workaholic for a job he just isn't a good fit for. I wonder why you are tired all the time Sedum? /s

Well Rested Sedum Caine