#tiny text bruce

Battinson!Bruce *panic cz he doesnt know how to tell Tim he still love him and still his lovely son* its okay Tim i used to have a boyfriend

The Batfam *gasp*

He has access to money, bc, well, Bruce so the suit/bat mobile is explained

Bruce totally knows about it and helps him bc Alfred raised the mf and Bruce is just like “might as well make sure my 2nd dad doesn’t die”

Could basically get away with the “why does Batman show up after Bruce disappears” by getting the argument “the man is protecting his ward, obviously”

Yes he’s on the older side, but very healthy and has the same body-build as Batman’s suit (from rare pictures of Alfred doing something like grocery shopping idk)

“But who cleans Batman up after a fight? Alfred was a war medic, sure, but what if he’s OUT?” Bruce was going to be a doctor.

“He dropped out”

He has the basic anatomy down, probably knows basic first aid, and can learn as they go along. “He’s rich guys. Who knows what the rich knows about weird shit like that🙄🙄”

“Batmans eyes are blue and this Alfred dude has grey” “stfu linda. contacts are a thing”

“He has a mustache-“ “WE LIVE IN 2022??? MY MAN CAN JUST THROW ONE ON??”

The argument of Alfred being old comes back up a few times, arguing just because he’s in good shape doesn’t mean he has the ability to be Batman

“Guys, Bruce, his ward, is a MULTIBILLIONAIRE. And has a background field of science. Captain America that bullshit” (canonning Marvel is a thing there for this reason only)

Alfred has a background of Military so the man knows how to fight

Alfred is covered in scars (bc of military) and they all just happen to fall in a place where Batman has gotten seriously hit.

Why didn’t he start sooner?? He had to raise Bruce, duh. (Went to extra training while Bruce was at college)

They bring this up with Bruce on the rare occasion Bruce is out of the Manor (this man doesn’t use social media lets be honest here. He probably would have never known about this if it wasn’t for the runin)

“MR. WAYNE! MR. WAYNE! IS YOUR BUTLER THE BATMAN?”

Bruce stands there, soaked to the bones like a sick kitten as always, shuffling awkwardly and makes the confusedest noise ever. “What?”

“Your butler! Alfred Pennyworth! Is he the Batman?”

Batman: The note is in Spanish

Gordon: Then I hope your Spanish is better than it used to be.

Dick: What do you mean?

Batman: Gordon don't-

Gordon: What, does the kid not know about El Rata Alada?

Dick, a tiny European who knows enough Spanish to know how gendered nouns work: Oh, it's actually la rata, sir.

Gordon:

Batman:

Gordon:

Batman:

Gordon: ...Kid, you would have been so helpful this time last year-

Batman & Superman need a team up.

But not just any team up

The GCPD and MCPD need to work together as well

(This is Battinson btw)

Batman and all the MCPD officers are hitting it oddly really well. (Superman is not jealous at both sides. He’s not.)

This causes Martinez to get all possessive/protective/jealous/etc over Batman but in a really awkward way that makes everyone think Batman and this random cop are fucking

Like, Daniel (fanon name) is always glaring at the MCPD officers when they have full convos with Batman. (Batman answers with his signature grunts. But, still.)

Bruce, oddly, finds it cute/comforting

Daniel, this little Hispanic officer with little to no regard of his own safety, is all “this is my wet kitten emo bitch boy. Go get your own” despite calling him “freak” (more affection after the flood, Bruce will admit quietly to himself)

Eventually, Superman and Daniel conspire against the MCPD (god I want that team up) for a mutual “they are stealing the wet kitten from us.” And than immediately after argue about who Batman “belongs” to (in a “he works in my city!” “He brings me sandwiches at random!” Kinda way)

After the whole thing is over and done with, Batman sneaks into Daniel’s house and makes him a, very bad, coffee and literally beems at him. Like full on smiling

It freaks Daniel out cause “Batman is smiling a genuine smile????!!!”

Batman says, “Don’t worry officer, I’m still your awkward little kitten.” In the most innocent way that definitely doesn’t get Daniel’s dick interested. no stop

“Oh uh… you heard that?”

Humming, Batman only twirls his fingers around. “And the other stuff.” While shrugging

“I’m never living this down, am I?”

Batman gives him a small smile this time

(still creepy af that Batman is smiling but Martinez thinks it’s kinda cute and loves it because, ya, he did that to Batman.)