#tidbitsofmylife

Push and pull hot and cold I don't know where to turn I think you're ready to be here with me fully committed to a flourishing future and then you disappear into a dark, frigid corner that I can't seem to thaw. You pull me close And whisper sweet nothings then push me, keeping me at arms length I don't know where to go Maybe you still have so much to undo to unlearn, to forget Maybe you haven't quite moved on Should I sit here, enduring all the temperaments Or is it my time to leave to save my own soul...

I was fooled again Walking up your front steps Greeting your parents Seeing your sister again after such a long time Because you swore this time it would work I felt the dread Deep in my stomach As you explained to them I was here to stay And I thought Why am I here? I want to run away... Far and fast And I did because I woke up in my bed Far from that dream What a sense of relief...

Don't forget How you couldn't be yourself How the anger lingered Because you could't speak Don't forget How you feared being seen As stupid As inadequate As a mistake Don't forget How slow it was to get out of the front door How the house had to be filled with smoke Before interacting with others Don't forget That place was a museum full of untouchables where you had to keep your hands to yourself Don't forget The times where you were disregarded where you were forgotten where inequality was blatantly obvious Don't forget you're destined for so much more then a room full of smoke with little to no clothes Don't forget you want to strive for success and late nights after late nights of pleasure Isn't the answer you're looking for.

But that can only last so long

if I don’t prevent your tantrum 

So I'll wait