meadowmabel

#randomthoughts #longlostfriendships #friends #wordvomit

I die for your touch not in longing, but in torment. I crave it like poison, sweet, slow, and sure. Each time you graze my skin, I unravel. This hunger rots me from within, a curse I cannot shake. There is no escape. I was never free. I'm condemned to crave you forever addicted, forever lost.

I think about you all the time I dream about you all the time Even now that you're mine. I dream about our future About how our life will look like tomorrow How it'll feel to wake up beside you day after day How it'll feel to confide my deepest darkest secrets at 3 am after a few drinks as I watch you smoke laid back relaxed listening intently I can't get enough of you I'll never get enough you're everything I want and more I want time to slow down To have you for a little longer sixty four years just doesn't seem like enough.

It just depends on who's bullshit you want to endure And the only bullshit I want to endure is yours

I walked away from you And you never demanded an explanation I left you without uttering a word And you never demanded a why Don't you want to know Was it easy Was it hard Did I give leaving much thought Aren't you dying of curiosity Wondering if I still think about you at night? Don't you want to know How it killed me to let you go How I gave the thought every second of my waking time Hoping I'd make the right choice Don't you want to hear how I can hear your voice in my head from time to time how I miss your laugh you touch your time Don't you want to hear that you've crept into my dreams How I still need you But don't dare tell you

You said you were feeling lost and alone With no where to go So you texted your ex You said you were sad and confused with no one to hold So you were reaching for him You said you had heard through the grapevine that he had a new love but that didn't hold you back What did you expect? For him to return with zero suspect? You threw him out after you chewed him alive. anger seethes through my bones But why? Because ultimately I win. I'm treasuring what you completely discarded.

I think about you from time to time Wondering what life would be by your side Dreaming of your texting appearing on my screen a kiss emoji followed by the words "I miss you and what we had" Leaving me dazed and crazed and thinking that maybe I should give it a go You were a great love, a strong love, a real love and I only got a small taste

Life is funny.  At this point I don’t care what you do. You can leave me  You can love me  You can lie  At this point I realized  I’m wasting my time  I pray day in and day out  I’ll do something awful enough  for you to leave  I pray I’ll do something  wonderful enough for you to stay 

I’m sick to my stomach It hurts to try and believe this news I just received ignorance is bliss  the thought of you was quiet and sweet now I’m in disbelief  to know you’re gone  forever  is too much to handle 

Tal vez me olvidare  De una vez por siempre del sabor de tus besos de la luz en tus ojos  en cada sonrisa  Tal vez comensare de nuevo  Con alguien que me ame  Para borrar las memorias que dejastes atascadas en mi mente para borrar los besos que marcaste en mi piel Me duele saber  que no seras para mi  me duele saber  que lejos te vas de aqui para nunca volver

Don't forget How you couldn't be yourself How the anger lingered Because you could't speak Don't forget How you feared being seen As stupid As inadequate As a mistake Don't forget How slow it was to get out of the front door How the house had to be filled with smoke Before interacting with others Don't forget That place was a museum full of untouchables where you had to keep your hands to yourself Don't forget The times where you were disregarded where you were forgotten where inequality was blatantly obvious Don't forget you're destined for so much more then a room full of smoke with little to no clothes Don't forget you want to strive for success and late nights after late nights of pleasure Isn't the answer you're looking for.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. You were who I always strove for who I always drooled over The epitome of perfection and now I'm drowning drowning in disbelief when I wish I was drowning in love Drowning in disappointment When I wish I was drowning in lust I can't live this life I can't keep up You can't keep up with me two completely different views of life And neither can follow the other It wasn't supposed to be this way You were supposed to be everything and more And instead I'm stuck.