#thouht

I've been thinking a lot about women and human relationships recently. Especially since some of my closest friends have been hooking up and dating with new girls. Usually, when this happens, there's this teeny little troll inside my mind that tries to tell me that I'm missing out on something great - trying to make me jealous of that certain type of happiness, that comes from having a female counterpart around. Luckily I'm a rather reasonable person so I tell that troll to fuck of because he's not helping anything, and my friends totally deserve to have the forementioned kind of happiness. So - like usual - I try to approach the topic (not having/not being able to find a woman) with reason.

So. I don't have a woman at the time - where can I go from there? A quick look at me specs says, that I'm not too good looking, money is often an issue, and both my social skills and wardrobe could use few updates - but I'm good with words though. This makes things challenging, yes, but not impossible. I generally like a little challenge because it makes victories - however small - way sweeter. On the top of my head, there are about three paths I could choose with this issue:

1) I could be a bitter woman hater, who bitches and moans about "all women being shallow whores/sluts" who "don't get me" and who only go out with guys that are blah-blah-blah and wah-wah-wah. You know, like so many other guys around me. Obviously this doesn't work for me because of two obvious reasons: 1) I inherently like women so I just can't bring myself to hate ALL of them (there are certain individuals I don't like), 2) this doesn't help me find a woman so screw that shit. So, instead of blaming women, I think it's more reasonable to turn my eyes on me, and ask myself: "What could I do to increase my changes with women?" Because "me" is something I can improve and change over time. This made me think about the second path:

2) The RSD (Real Social Dynamics)/pick-up path. I've been checking out some RSD videos on youtube (I like Tyler's and Jeffy's stuff), and surprisingly, I've found most of their stuff rather inspiring. Then again, who wouldn't become inspired about the idea, that any man could be total lady-killer if he's willing to invest time and effort (month or even years depending on how fast you learn) on improving certain social skills and going out as much as possible. Though the RSD path sounds tempting, for me, it sounds rather too time consuming (I like to do other stuff as well) and rather focused on getting laid. Even though sex is one of the greatest past times people can have, it's something I can live without - you can't die from not having sex. And when it comes to the social exercises RSD promotes (like approaching 20 different in one evening), it sounds a little invasive activity for a person, who generally respects people by leaving them alone. However, I can appreciate some points RSD has to offer, which brings me to the third path:

3) General self-improvement. RSD also promotes self-improvement while hitting on the ladies. This could be anything depending on the person: advancing one's career, doing sports, studying, reading, learning a new skill, getting a new haircut, buying some new clothes, etc. Another inspiring idea I got from Tyler was, that "of course I would like to have a woman, but I don't need a woman". This means, that I don't necessarily need a woman in my life, so I can greatly decrease my pressure around women by not being goal driven (only aim to get laid/to get a girlfriend), but rather try find enjoyment in being around women and being able to socialise with women in general. This brings me to the final idea about what one could do in a womanless reality.

I was standing next to the cashier, just about to place my order – the classic chicken fillet with rice, hot fudge sundae and a burger mcdo. I was really hungry that time, and I couldn’t think of anything else but FOOD! I couldn’t wait to have a taste of that crispy chicken, to have a lick of that soft sundae, and to have a bite of that burger mcdo. Thank God, there are fast foods nowadays that can ease hunger instantly.

“Good morning ma’am. Welcome to McDonald’s.”

My order was already set in mind--chicken fillet, sundae, and burger. And just as about I would place my order…

I saw this old man. He was wearing a shabby shirt that’s way too large for him. His feet were really dirty that almost bore a whole in his slippers. He was carrying a bulky eco-bag that had loose hems in it. He looked really frail as if he could collapse any time. The old man already placed his order – a medium-sized juice and a regular fries. I felt sad for the old man, whom I knew was as hungry as I was but could only buy fries and juice to ease his hunger, and felt even sadder the moment he pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He started counting coins to be able to pay for the meal that only costs P40 or less even. The next thing I knew, the cashier asked for five pesos more because the old man had only P35. Then, he pulled out his wallet again and started searching for coins that he couldn’t seem to find. He was worried; I knew it from his trembling hands. Then, he reached for his pockets; ran hands over the metal coin inside and felt a great relief after. He walked away from the cashier then I didn’t see where he went after.

…

 “One order of chicken fillet with rice. And regular coke lang po ang drinks.”

“Anything else Ma’am?”

I just shook my head for an answer.