#thinking pattern

“Oh. wait. I have to recalibrate.”

Mam?? You are not a robot ?

They’ve led me to some thinking, tho. Because I don’t have aphantasia, the opposite due to be an incredibly visual thinker and having my thoughts be in images. 

But I lack an inner monologue. Which all of my research on the topic strongly connects to having aphantasia, the aphantasia I don’t have. 

It’s...fascinating. 

Lacking an inner monologue means I don’t think in a voice to myself, so to speak Or even think in words. When I picture a word, it is in the picture of one. A mental image of the actual word typed out on a piece of paper. The shape of a word, not the verbal saying of it? If that makes sense?

If I want to speak to myself, I have to do it out loud. Leading me to talk to myself a lot where other people can hear me and muttering under my breath when I try to minimize that issue. 

If I’m thinking about music or recalling songs, those songs are linked to mental pictures/stories that I’ve previously thought for those songs. Or I get the up and down hills of a visualized soundwave. 

This is all the direct opposite of aphantasia as I’ve mentioned. But why do I lack an inner monologue then, if that usually is an indicator of aphantasia?