Sep 17, 2017
"I didn't leave because I no longer loved you. I left because I couldn't continue to love you knowing you didn't love me near as much as I did you."
-katiefayehutch
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"I didn't leave because I no longer loved you. I left because I couldn't continue to love you knowing you didn't love me near as much as I did you."
-katiefayehutch
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Thing I wish you knew, #67
Sometimes I wake up, and I know I have been talking to you in my dreams. They aren't always easy conversations, you are always protecting yourself with anger, but there is love, and acceptance, and trying. Often there is calm, peace, and more love.
It's hard to wake up from those. I miss you so much.
Things I wish you knew #3
I like cats, actually.
Today as you walked out, your eyes were searching around for someone, or something, as if it mattered a lot to you. I could tell, because it's the same familiar way my eyes roam when they're searching for you.
But l guess you didn't know, l was at that corner looking at you go. Because l am everything but courage. Courage enough to admit that you are everything l have been waiting for.
i just felt that i should write something.
a year, it seems so long yet when i look back, it feels just as if it was, maybe not yesterday, but last week. a year back i was outside your doors. a year back i was able to die. a year back everything seemed so close, so small. one year makes a difference. just one year everything feels too different. the feelings faded, but its still there. i may think of you, but it doesnt hurt as much. i do wonder how youre doing, not due to habit but of pure concern. sometimes i still wonder, if you ever wonder about how im doing. if you are. i am doing great. i have found peace with how things ended up. i have decided to move on. i have been making wonderful changes to my lifestyle. i believe i have bettered myself. thank you. i hope youre doing fine as well, doing something you love. and too making the best of yourself. most importantly, i hope youre happy. thats all that matters. but the epitome of me writing this shows that i havent gotten over you. kinda contradicting. but im fine with it, shows how much you mattered, shows how much i cared. it shows what we had before was real. everything was real, was once real. at least i had it before. the true love everyones looking for, at least i could say, i have had it before. i may have lost it. but i have had it. i know. i know i had it. i definitely had it. it was real. and now that i know, how i hope it isnt in past tense.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Seeing the things that i'd want to do with you but can't share the enthusiasm with you because you're no longer mine.
dear you,
i finally understand now. we were living in two different timelines of our lifes, we never had the same values. however it was this that made us give in, try to understand and make things last. it was also this that separated us when we were at our breaking points. now, it feels like i have crossed over to how you have been feeling before, how you have been seeing this world from your standpoint. but now you have crossed to where i was before. perhaps we were never meant to last, or perhaps we may one day reach the same destination. till then, i will be waiting. waiting for the feeling you have once given me, waiting for the love i could only reminisce in my dreams. now that i understood how you have been feeling, thank you. thank you for your love, and everything you have endured. im not sure if i still have feelings for us, but i know for sure that i still do miss you. i miss us.
p.s. i wrote this with a cigarette on my lips. cause that thats the closest thing i can taste compared to your lips.
an excerpt of thoughts and feelings translated into words
to you, shutting me out. from me, venting alone.