Heyyyy i saw your post about writing your daydream to cope with maladaptive daydreaming. Do you have antimite tips that your therapist gave u ? ( cause therapy is kinda expensive for me right now)
Thanks <3
Hey, thank you for reaching out, I'm genuinely really glad you did. I'm afraid I'm not a great resource for this, honestly. Soon after that post I quit the job that provided therapy, so I don't have much more to offer. But I'll give you all of the things that I remember from therapy in case it can serve you!
(Assuming you're trying to stop disassociating,) look out for triggers. What makes you switch from being present to daydreaming?
When you initially notice you've switched to daydreaming, try to stop. This sounds obvious, but I've had to really keep it in mind, and there's usually a reason you switched to daydreaming (for me its usually anxiety or a lack of stimulation) and going back to reality isn't what your mind wants, so try to have something you are switching to. For instance, when I try to become present again, I usually start describing an object I see, and sometimes I shift to describe everything I'm experiencing, so all of the senses, things I'm seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling. And then once you're in the moment, then you can more easily switch to being actually in the moment as in conversations, etc, not just aware of reality but also a part of it. (Describing objects also helps with anxiety and spiraling, if you struggle with that)
Keeping a record of your daydreams can help if you are replaying a lot or if you have a story you are interested in building.
Setting aside time to daydream can help. It sounds counter intuitive, but if you stop yourself from daydreaming other times and say no I'm gonna daydream at 3 till 3:30, then when that time comes you daydream and then you stop yourself. This can build up self control and can break the urge to daydream whenever.
Trying to keep your mind occupied can help. If you daydream while you fold laundry, then maybe try playing music or a podcast or an audiobook and try to stay focused on it.
Doing yoga, or journaling, or something aimed at practicing awareness (physical, emotional, etc) can really help. Even stuff like spending 5 minutes describing everything I see and hear and feel can really help. A big part of getting away from MADD is just training your mind to be able to focus on the present.
Ultimately, what I've found is that maladaptive daydreaming is really just an addiction. And it's a coping mechanism. If you can find what you're coping with and can find a healthy way to deal with it, or find a way to cut it from your life, both are good options, but neither will necessarily stop the disassociation. If an addiction is narrowing activities you enjoy down to the one thing, then the way to break it is to find more outlets, more things you enjoy. If you have hobbies you don't do anymore, or things you used to be interested in, pursuing those can be good. Finding other things you enjoy doing can be super helpful.
On writing: (I didn't get this from therapy, just personal experience) it might help to write down everything from past daydreams that you remember (I personally would get really caught up in trying to remember all of the things. I had been daydreaming for about 5 years when I started writing, so I was trying to remember a lot. And I did forget a lot.) if you have a timeline, feel free to type it up. I write it down almost every time it comes up. I'll have clips of dialogue running in my head and I'll pull out my phone and type it up. Same goes for if I have a plot idea. I write it down to explore it later during the time I set aside for it. If I'm scared I'll forget it, then it runs over and over in my mind and it takes up time, and I don't want that. If I want to explore it, finish the scene, then I'm committing more time, and I don't want that. So it really helps me to cut it short by writing it down.
I'll add more to this list if I think of anything. Hopefully this helps in some way, feel free to reach out again! I tried to highlight my main ideas, sorry if it's distracting but I thought with so much text, it might be easier to skim.
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Things I learnt from therapy: Getting back into a hobby
Mental tips
Often we are frustrated that our skill has suffered during the inactive period. So you know you can do better - that's your talent requesting attention.
Watch progress videos, ones where somebody does a re-make of an older piece. Know that improvement in inevitable with practice.
Remember that other people can't see the planned project in your head, they only see the results. Often we lambast our work because it didn't come out how we wanted, but we fail to appreciate what we DID to. See your art for what it is, not what it could have been
Don't compare your projects to people who've had much more practice than you, or access to resources you don't have. Remember that it's not a race or a competition.
Physical tips:
Try doing it badly. It's funny, and makes you feel ok about it being bad because its purposefully bad.
Try doing your hobby without planning ahead, don't have a super defined goal and just see where it takes you.
Try a different medium, you will improve faster and also be less critical. For example, if you usually draw digitally, maybe try pixel art?
If you ever feel the tiniest inclination to do the hobby, jump on that feelings and do it now. Don't wait a second or the feeling will pass!
Do you hobby with a friend, company is great for motivation. Putting time aside specially for the hobby encourages you to work on it too.
Hello, all, our system struggles with Alexithymia (the inability to track/identify emotions) and I have just now found two wonderful links that I’d like to share with you all!
https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/emotion-exploration-scale
So we had a check in with our Diagnoser while we wait for our Psychiatrist’s waitlist to clear up, and one of the things we covered today was a way to help the system feel comfortable as a unit, to act as a good go-to for grounding materials, and to also remind us that we are each individuals with our own likes/dislikes. He suggested a “System Box”.
A System Box, as he explained it, is a Box (can be any box, a shoebox, a container, whatever) that each alter puts something in for their own comfort. Stress balls, headphones, a plushie, some spray, whatever made them feel comfortable and help them ground, as well as feel free as a singular identity.
“Why a box?” Well the box represents the brain, how we are a system sharing a body. He said if we get used to sharing a box with something important to us, it’ll help us get used to sharing a brain where we all live.
So we went ahead and started one. It’s nowhere near completed, but it’s a start, and we’re excited to see how it does over the next few weeks before we see him again. In our box so far we have:
Lucy’s Hairbands/Scrunchies
Maddy’s Earrings
Our med dispenser
Ellie’s scented lip balms
Sarah’s reading light
Alex’s journal pens
Elliott’s Fidget toys
We always love to share things we learn from therapy or from other systems. It’s so important to help the system heal, and if how we learn to heal can help other systems heal to, it’s always a plus. This is a journey like no other, and support is always so so important. If anyone else makes or has a System Box, feel free to RB this and show us (if you feel comfortable sharing that is)!
Every time I cry my eyes out I take a selfie because I know I’m going to look back at it and find something hilarious about the way I look (it’s usually my facial expression or hair).
Experts are still deciding if this is healthy or psychotic.
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One of the most useless (well maybe it’s useful but I refuse to try it) tips my therapist gave me is to stay out of bed at night unless I am going to actively try to fall asleep. Girl no..... I get what you’re going for, trying to get me to associate bed with sleep, but I would rather lose sleep by just chilling in my bed than do ... what??? Stand in the middle of my room until I am tired enough to go to bed?
I don't know if this will help anyone, but I was recently talking to my therapist about maladaptive daydreaming, and she recommended writing stuff down. Mine is like a world with a timeline and all, so maybe it's not helpful for anyone else, but, so far so good for me.
I haven't done it much, but I've got a partial timeline done, and that has made me a little more relaxed about it and I don't feel such a strong urge to zone out, which is huge for me because I usually zone out consistently throughout the entire day, and it makes work and school really hard, and I have a hard time relating to reality, and it makes me more anxious irl because its not like my mind. I might reblog with updates later.
