anyone asked for self-conscious Jaskier?
It was me. I asked for it.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ******* ********* *******
āGeralt is waiting for his companion/friend/lover at an inn just like they had agreed before they parted ways a month ago. He is feeling that tickling sensation in his stomach again. Itās annoying, to say the least. Whatās more annoying is thatĀ Jaskier is two days late.Ā
Jaskier arrives after two days and it takes him two more to let Geralt (fully) touch him. They do kiss, a lot, but whenever Geralt runs his hands lower on Jaskierās body, lifting his undershirt up, Jaskier grabs his hands and place them on his shoulders or intertwines their fingers to block Geraltās touch or he tackles him to the bed, holding his arms and burying him in kisses.
Geralt is confused and his eyebrows are probably permanently frowned by now. But he doesnāt show it. Having Jaskier back after so long feels like going back to the surface after a long dive (cāmon, Geralt, itās been only a month, donāt be so dramatic).
One thing that really bugs Geralt is when Jaskier sits he always has his lute on his lap, holding it close to his body, almost choking the poor thing.
āIf it had a voice it would screamā Geralt commented one day and he was surprised (and a little worried) to see that Jaskier only held it closer.
The other day, it was his folded bedroll sitting on his lap, the next day his lute case, without the lute. Geralt is officially worried. Somethingās wrong with Jaskier and he wonāt talk. He doesnāt know whatās worse. He wants to say something but he doesnāt know how or what. He curses his inability to form words when is most needed. He wants to be a safe place for Jaskier and it feels weird and uncomfrotable that Jaskier is annoyingly silent when they lie on the bed (or the ground or whatever). Always dressed.
One night they lay side by side on their bedrolls and Geralt wants him and he wants all of him so he goes on and do what his heart desires the most and kisse him on the neck, loving the sounds his lips leave on soft skin, loving when Jaskier pulls his hair gently and guides Geraltās kisses lower and when Geraltās fingers are about to undo the laces of his shirt Jaskier covers his fingers with his own hand and pulls Geraltās hand to his lips, kissing his fingers.Ā
āYouāre gonna have to let me take this offā Geralt points at the stupid shirt blocking his view. A view he misses like hell. Heās determined that night. Heās gonna have his bard and his bard gonna be fucking naked.Ā
āWe donāt have toā
Geraltās determination jumped in the nearest lake and drowned. Jaskier canāt help but laugh at his pouting face.Ā āSeriously?ā
Geralt collects the broken pieces of his shattered ego and sits on the bedroll.Ā āWhat the fuck is wrong, Jaskier?ā
āWhat? Nothingās wrong, everything is fine, weāre fine, weāre just fine, nothingās wrong, bollocksā Jaskier frantically covers himself with the blankets, tucking every inch of his body in while Geralt is staring concerned.Ā
āYouāre not fooling anyone, bardā
āYeah? Since when?ā Jaskier knows he will have to give in soon. Heās making Geralt worried and itās the last thing he wants. The reason for it is such a silly thing, Jaskier feels alsmost sorry for himself. He knows Geralt deserves better than this and that he would go too far to protect what they have and that Jaskierās been stupid, pushing him away, putting everything at risk. And for what?
Heās embarassed, heās scared, heās anxious, heās afraid of what might happen. But heās more afraind of loosing Geralt.
āIāve put on some weight the last monthā he spits the words out so quickly that he wonders if Geralt had managed to decipher the code.
He had, apparently. And heās laughing. And he is relieved.Ā What an idiot?!!
āPlease donāt tell me this is why -ā
āDonāt, I - no, please..!ā
āOh, okā Geralt is smiling. Why is he smiling? Why isnāt he mad at Jaskier? Jaskier canāt help but wonder if he actually deserves this man.
āSo...are we taking this off then?ā Geralt points at the shirt biting his lips. The man really canāt keep himself. Unbelievable.
āGeralt, Iām hideousā Jaskier lowers his head and clutches a fistful of blanket, staring at nothing.
Geralt places two fingers below Jaskierās chin and lifts his face up. Oh fuck, these eyes.
āYouāre fucking beautiful, thatās what you areāĀ Geralt kisses his eyelids and cheekbones and his ears, sucking his earlobeĀ āIf only you could see yourself the way I see youā
āGeralt..ā Jaskierās heart starts melting.Ā
āIf life could give me one blessing it would be more of you to loveā Geralt sneaks a hand under Jaskierās shirt and although he shifts and gasps softly , he lets him and Geralt can finally feel the soft skin of his belly, sliding fingers lower.
āGeralt..ā Jaskierās heart has turned into a puddle.