#thelosttimewar

you ugly af

(cont) I did not understand how the exclusive breakfast pannel with J2 was supposed to work so I came early so I could ask my question first, turns out theres no line and they just call on you. The pannel started at ten and I got there around 645 in the morning. I met a wonderful woman named Bonnie who was there with her twin sister. We talked for over two hours about each other. This is my first ever con and this was her sixth.(cont-)

This is my first ever con and it was her sixth. She didnt have any of the specialty passes while I was lucky enough to have a gold one. She was also only here for that day (sunday) while i had been there since thursday. We talked for over two hours about different things, supernatural, jared and his charity work and how much that meant to someone like me with depression and anxiety. So Bonnie took out her 139$ ticket for her photo op with Jared handed it to and said cont)

and said, "ive been meaning to do a random act of kindness, enjoy your pannel/" I screamed, cried, and hugged her tighter than anyone. I got to the pannel and caught Jareds attention by jumping because I was in the ninth row, which was the last row. I asked my question about character transitions -Jensen said yellow fever dean, jared said lucifer-

so i waited for my first photo op which took forever but only because Jared was being a cinnamon roll and talking to everyone. Finally it was my turn he said hello and I made a very quiet but awkward noise and said “Tall.” Cause he is bigger than you think. He looked at me and broke into a big smile, gripping my arm tight and going “I remember you! You asked the character transition question today!” And he was all big smiles and he had to lean down to look at my short ass. (cont)

I showed him my ripped up ticket and shakily said “This is not my ticket. A wonderful woman named Bonnie gave it to me and she doesnt even have a special pass but she did it because she knew how much I admired you and it was her random act of kindness and how much you have inspired me to fight my own depression and anxiety. You are my hero.”Jared got very quiet which Ive never seen and he put his BIG hands up and I pressed mine against them and he just locked fingers with me (c0nt_

and he just locked fingers with me and squeezed my hand tight before saying, “This is what the Supernatural family is about.”Then a volunteer told us we needed to do a photo and I asked very shyly, “If Im not too heavy, would you mind lifting me up?” Jared got his smile back, scoffed and said, “You’re not heavy,” before picking me up bridal style. I got set down and I leaned into hug him, assuming I would hug his waist or middle cause hes tall. (c0nt)

But he leaned down and held me close for a moment and I hugged his shoulders, so I felt like it was a “close?” Hug, if that makes sense?The story continues! I got Jared to sign the photo and he smiled at me and I explained how his autograph was the one I wanted more than anything and I convinced my mom to change our train from 905 at night to 315 in the morning because it mattered that much. He just looked, a mix of shocked and humbled and thanked me. Also his signature is just a bunch of loops

My mom went first and got him to sign my poster, as seen in my previous post, and he circled Kim Rhode’s signature. He was very sweet and funny and quirky with my mom and then I came up.

My hands were shaking badly as I placed the book down and he looked up at me and his face fell really concerned because I was starting to tear up and Im pale af, so the slightest bit of tears my whole head tints red. I go up to him and I finally manage to explain how much he means to me, how much he inspires me, and how much I admire (cont)

randomactsorg and all he has done for everyone around the world and for the supernatural fandom.He listened to me, and crazy, sassy, bouncy, Misha did not interupt once. He listened. Actually took in every single word I said and his true self shown through his on stage persona. He looked up at me and asked one question, “What is your name?” I told him my name was Jen and kept rambling as more tears came down my cheeks. He handed me back my book and said thank you very softly (cont)

and I left before I sobbed even more. I have never seen Misha be quiet, not silent, but quiet and thoughtful and actually, hanging on to your every word. I figured he just signed “To Jen, Misha Collins” But no, he didn’tHe signed, “To Jen, you are inspiration, Misha Collins”And that means the world. So this is how I met Misha and how he made me sob

"We have one crappy day, and then everybody reads about it, and now that's what they think forever."

You are great. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. You are a big part of a truly awesome fandom. And I just want to let you know, that you have a lot of people who love, respect and admire you for your compassion !!! If you feel down right now, it just means that you care and a passionate person. You might feel low right now, but remeber when you feel good about something you truly feel great and joyfull and experience wonderful stuff so intense...other people dream about having half as much fun as you have during great happenings.

So please remember the good stuff that surround you and you can take strenght from. You will find that place again !!!

Her blog is quite concerning.