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new Kin Hell just dropped the other week: I can feel the fucking Parasite on my back. I'm glad it doesn't hurt like a bitch like it did in source but it's still a very uncomfortable clingy weight. for why. what did I do to deserve all this. I'm so tired bro (The Host, Scorn)
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mark would come have tea with me, sometimes. i was always around if he needed someone to bounce ideas off of, or if he just needed to get away from some chaos. he was never particularly close to any of the egos past dark and wilford (as they were more personal to him in terms of persona) but he did confide in me once that he really did like us, he just... wasn't really sure how to interact with us sometimes.
i understood, of course. i'm not really sure what we were, or what mark was, but i know definitively that we weren't just human. it's hard to grasp how many people like him there were out in the world ("like him" meaning that you could create characters from your own mind and have them come to life and become their own selves) but he couldn't have been the only one.
i suppose i wouldn't know, considering that as egos we were relatively insular and typically didn't form many deep connections with... ""real humans"". but i knew there were others like us out there, there was no way it was Just Us.
regardless, i suppose we lucked out in a few ways, what with him being so benevolent and what have you. i'd like to clarify that i am in no way talking about the real mark here, i am talking about /my/ mark and /my/ mark was truly just such a sweetheart. always getting himself into trouble (and thus always creating more of us, but i digress) and trying to leave the world a better place than he left it. i have a feeling not many other beings could say that about their creators so i consider myself lucky in that regard, i think.
...it's weird. talking about him like this. i'm trying to not be so wary about it but every time i do i always feel as though i'll be killed so i hesitate to, more often than not. but he was one of my dear creators. hard not to be fond of him, really. i wonder if he's out there, somewhere, but there's a certain terror that comes with attempting to locate him so perhaps it's for the best that i don't.
regardless. i hope he's well, wherever he is.
- the host π (youtubekin)
placeholder text because tumblr wont let me post ask messages without something in the reply box
not many other egos knew how dark used to be, before he (as i say it at least) got its shit together. he used to be more of an entity of pure chaos, like wilford and i were, and it was always a bit emo about the whole thing (both in dress and demeanor).
something changed. i remember i didn't like it, not at first, because it was almost like... he grew out of me. it didn't want to hang out like we used to anymore and our interactions got less playful and more full of just straight up resentment and it just felt fucking awful.
things were different, of course, when i was different. it's odd, how i feel so differently about this one event depending on which part of me i'm thinking about it as. part of me thinks about him oh so fondly but the other wants to crush it under my heel like he's nothing but the dirt i walk on. i wish i could explain myself succinctly and in a way that makes sense but every time i try, it just doesn't feel right.
people talk about it losing me when i died, but i never get to talk about losing him because it has an actual backstory now or whatever so i can't say anything without having to give like 10000 different justifications for it.
...i lamented earlier this year about wishing that i had these memories again. i think i'm starting to regret saying that now.
- the author βΎοΈ/the host ποΈ(youtubekin)
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october was one of my favorite months, then. i'm more of a june person myself nowadays, i love summer (...even if it can get egregiously hot where i live) but it was just so nice. the weather in our area would finally start cooling down and i could finally go outside without having to worry about the possibility of overheating. i could enjoy more warm beverages with friends (because i just drank whatever i like in all seasons; most of those close to me typically reserved thing like hot tea for colder weather). and i got so many more opportunities to tell scary stories which, if you're familiar with who i am, you can imagine was rather exciting for me. plus, some of the others got so excited for parties and dressing up and decorating and even if i didn't always have the energy for all that sometimes, it was always nice to see them being so happy.
...and even nicer seeing dark let loose a little. halloween was its absolute favorite holiday (it was mine too, but i think that's just because he liked it so much) and he and wilford always had the most elaborate costumes every year. even if it wouldn't let it show, i could tell he was having the time of his life. it was rare to see it so... joyful.
i suppose my enjoyment of october still lingers then, haha. could you really blame me, though? - the host ποΈ (youtubekin)
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I miss being blind sometimes. Sure, itβs nice being able to see what I would normally hear (like rain and wind) but at the same time, I miss the focussed experience of only hearing and feeling. Of being able to just feel.
Technically, before, I was able to βseeβ, and I wasnβt always blind before either. But how I used to βseeβ is so different from how people normally see, how I see now. I miss that.
-The Host
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mark had this sort of... cuddly puppy characteristic to him, that carried over to a lot of us. not everyone had it (yan, for one, they hated being touched without permission) but most other egos (especially dark, wilford, KOTS, and bim) were prone to it. i was too, actually, it's just that i was Also weird about touch because of. reasons. so i wouldn't always be open about it.
it's just very funny to me seeing people portray us in certain ways when my experiences are so startlingly different. did you know that darkiplier was a total cuddle bug who really loved being physically affectionate? he fucking hated people knowing that (which is why i'm telling all of you) so he would only let it show around certain people, but when he got the chance he was incredibly clingy. i can personally attest to that.
if he were here, he'd want to punch me for saying that. but he's not, and also he knows i'd hit him with a bat if he did. sorry, dear ||P
(i say this teasingly. mostly. our relationship was very weird and specific. don't worry about it too much.) - the host ποΈ (youtubekin)
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random memory but wilford used both she/her and he/him pronouns in my canon, i believe. gender was always wishy washy with her (as in he'd never give you the same answer twice if you asked) but she was a rare occurrence of an ego who went by she/her at all (which is probably why i remember it so distinctly).
disregarding that, i do miss him rather dearly. i wasn't as close to her as dark was but he was always such a big sweetheart to me and the others that it was kind of hard to not like her, if you could get past his flightiness.
hope you're well if you're out there, my friend. sending you well wishes, and plenty of pink heart emojis, with my brain πππ©·ππ - the host ποΈ
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Not me kinning what must be one of the most obscure sources ever πππ a NONCANON character from The Host, of all things!
-Echoing Voice In The Caves #βοΈππ
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