i went to college in new york and lived there for 5 years before The Pandemic. before The Pandemic, i thought NYC was going to be my home indefinitely-- maybe not the rest of my life, but for a while i ended up going back to hometown (derogatory) for a period of time during the outbreak portion of the pandemic, ended my NYC lease, and moved out of NYC that fall bc we had no idea what the world was gonna look like. decided to give some other things a go and ended up back in my hometown, which i have been living in and also with family since 2021. long story very short, it is now time for me to move on. well past, actually! which means, very soon, i will be moving to Los Angeles. as a former new yorker, i cannot believe that is happening. as someone who is addicted to the bit, it is a perfect thing. have i ever lived in LA? no. had i even travelled west of the mississippi up until like 2 years ago? no! do i wanna live in LA for the rest of my life? i don't know! but i have loved it when i have been there and i have several friends out there. hilariously enough i also have several awkward relationships out there but that's fine it's a big city and i am young, single, childless, and can do what the fuck i want. and what i want is to try something new. hooray but what that MEANS is i am now in the stressful process of speedrunning every single adult decision there is to be made ever. and i have tentatively set a date-- may 1!-- for The Day. i have talked to my parents about it, my employer somewhat knows, but i have to do. so many things. do i want a furnished or unfurnished apartment. i don't have much furniture, how do i get my shit out there. i'm shipping my car, how much is that gonna be, can i just put my shit in my car. do i sign a short term lease or a long term lease. i need a job. what happens if i hate it. what happens if i can't find a job. what happens if there's an earthquake i literally do not know what to do in an earthquake. do i just buy all new shit when i get out there. i have to make sure i have enough pills to last me the first few weeks while i change over my Goddamned Health Insurance. i gotta find a new doctor. i gotta find a new pyschiatrist. i gotta go to the dentist probably at some point in my life i think. THE LIST GOES ON. so, exciting, right. but that's So much of my brainpower rn.

which takes us to-- i have also decided that i should actually devote time and energy to doing things that help stimulate my brain, ie i need to actually practise french and i guess i'm learning korean now too. why? (french mouth fart noise) it does make my mind feel nice and it makes me feel overall motivated, but it also takes up brainpower!

family stress is happening for no reason but really what else is new yknow.

i gotta Watch Movies. i gotta Listen To More Music. i gotta Catch Up With Friends. i gotta Retry My Bagel Recipe. i gotta Brush My Teeth-- i've been good at that, the teeth look great lately. i have to do so many things all the time and there are not enough hours in the day and writing this all down makes it seem so small but it's actually quite big okay. it's big!!!! IT'S BIG (tearing up)

No clue why

anyway! blog ran by coolest mods ever:

icarus et al- meeeeeee the original maker of the blog.