#thaina m

Maybe if I say your name enough times, the memories attached to it will lose meaning.

Maybe if I think of you all day, my mind will start to forget your face and the scent that came with it.

Maybe if I don’t hang on too tight to the thought that you might move on, then I will.

But maybe, just maybe...

We will find the way towards each other again.

And maybe time will heal our past wounds and allow room for the journey we yet have to have.

Maybe I’ll see you again.

When the time is right,

Met a lover in the flying heights

Just a stranger sitting by my side

And he talks in his sleep at night

And we kissed in the Windy City night

I don’t wanna go back home,

But I know that we can’t stay.

I just want to love on you

And I know you feel the same.

I don’t wanna go back home

But I know that we can’t stay.

Stranger, you melt my heart

In every single way.

A living contradiction

I emit joy and content when all feel is fear.

Fear that when the show is over,

And the curtains close,

the lights will come back up

And I’ll see that I ruined everything.

My Midas touch

turns things into ashes instead of gold,

My relentless boat padding

is irrelevant against this river’s stream,

My will to try

is slowing dying inside.

And I,

I shouldn’t feel like this.

I shouldn’t want to run,

To disappear.

I shouldn’t feel out of place

But I do.

And I could...

I could keep smiling until the pain fades,

I could keep trying for one more day,

I could pick myself up one more time,

I could stay until I run out of time.

I am not whole,

I am not me.”

I’m longing

For the feeling of belonging

It’s an unexplainable emptiness

An impalpable loneliness

Being nobody’s

Being myself

I’m aching

From the mindless tortures of my thoughts

From the abandonment of self-regard

From the hands that gripped my soul and heart

Hands that have left me longing for the feeling of belonging

Hands that perpetuate their ways through my body and leave me longing for the feeling of belonging

And I’m confused

Confused by the rules of the game

Confused by the feelings that sway

Confused by the kisses that when against

my lips keep me longing.

Let there be light

And light appeared

Let there be hope

For fragile human beings

Let me create something that says

“I was here but not to stay”

Make me a memory

Let there be beauty

In this life

God knows I try

Let there be hunger

For something more

And I’ll keep moving

I won’t let go

Make me a passing thought

But carry these words

In your heart

Let there be love

When hate tempts

Let there be hugs

And many amends

Let there be tears of joy and sadness