Madatobi office drama is BACK baby !!
POV early Konoha hokage's office, and amongst the many petty squabbles (involving many an attempted murder, leaked photos and ruined reputation; Aka all the normal things you'd imagine you'd get by putting a bunch of enemy shinobi in an office sitcom) We find that among them is an Uzumaki with a seal in her hand and a prank in her pink, sparkling heart <3
So anyways Tobirama gets slapped with a ""prank"" seal— it may have been intended to him, it may have been meant for someone else in the office but fucked up and got attached to him anyways. Doesn't matter.
And the seal in question basically compels people to start spouting lovey-dovey nonsense about true love as flowers and anime sparkles float around them. But only for like 5 seconds at a time before they (read: Tobirama) snaps out of it and starts threatening the Uzumaki in question (Zushi) with bodily harm.
Many a laugh is had as Zushi goes "teehee (๑>•̀๑)"
(And many a shudder is shuddered as Tobirama keeps breaking out of his loud, graphic threats to say sappy, loving nonsense to Madara as he gains sparkling ikmen eyes, roses floating all around)
Madara is here by the way, and he can't tell if this is the worst or greatest day of his life.
After the initial humiliation of Tobirama begging him to carry his children shifted off of Madara's shoulders and onto Tobirama himself for saying these things, Madara decided it was mostly funny. The fact that Tobirama was in clear agony between each tangent about his beautiful, luscious hair only made it better tbh.
Sure, the things he was saying with complete in the moment sincerity were mortifying and felt like they could be at Madara's own expense. And the initial begging Madara to carry his babies definitely triggered his fragile little manly man ego. But now it's clearly a humiliation ritual for Tobirama instead of Madara! So Madara is very happy to be here :)
Anyways, the seal is removed and Tobirama is very grumpy as all the little office shinobi roll their eyes or snicker or look appropriately scared for their lives.
And someone asks Tobirama if he's ok and Tobirama is like fuck you I'm fine. Still clearly very mad. And then he looks Madara dead in the eyes and goes,
"I don't understand why people feel the need to laugh at our engagement. This is incredibly inappropriate for the workplace, everyone knows how private and professional we are about our relationship."
[ Immediate clattering silence as everyone in the entire office stops dead in their tracks to stare in various degrees of horror and confusion ]
FUCKING. WHAT.
So. Obviously something is. Very clearly wrong. Namely of course because there is no relationship to speak of.
Madara is sweating bullets as he questions Tobirama about if this was a prank. It's not. Tobirama is now fully, 100% convinced that he and Madara are in year long relationship. As in, public to the village relationship. As in, IN LOVE relationship.
Madara is rapidly moving away from "this is so funny" to "OH GOD THE SENJU YHINKS WERE FUCKING IM GONNA— GONNA—" [car crash sfx]
GET HIM OUT OF THERE!!!!! ITS TOO REAL HE DOESNT LIKE THIS ANYMORE GET HIM OUT GET HIM OUT GET HIM OUT GET HIM OUT GET HIM OUT GET HIM OU
Tobirama is like "Stop being an idiot Madara, you aren't funny >:(" as Madara tries to shake Zushi into fixing this.
Zushi meanwhile is like, "Whoopsies, looks like something went wrong, that's not supposed to happen! ╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭"
To which Madara can only reply with "They will never find the body."
To which Zushi replies with "They will •⩊•"
To which everyone else in the room would like to quietly ask they do this somewhere else because it's getting uncomfortable.
(though it's to note that some in the room might argue to shut the hell because they want to keep watching the soap opera.)
Anyways. Seal gone wrong Tobirama being convinced he's legitimately in love and in a loving relationship with Madara. And he straight up can NOT be reasoned with because the seal overrides the like. Common sense/reasoning parts of his brain. So Madara's only options here are:
1) Argue with him and try to insist on the reality of the situation (Tobirama becomes irritated and denies/ignores everything, then bitches at Madara a lot which is really annoying for Madara, and mildly terrifying for bystanders)
2) "Break up" with Tobirama (a heart broken Tobirama Senju is set loose on the world. Not recommended.)
3) Play along (Tobirama acts mostly as normal only he,,, likes? Madara? Now? Insane. But as the days pass, maybe not as bad as Madara thought it might be...?"
So yeah then plot stuff happens, probably. Idk I mostly just thought the intro to this sounded funny tbh. I can see this going in a LOT of different directions tho, depending on how seriously you wanna take the premise vs how silly funny. And also heavily depending on how Madara is characterized in this because there's certainly a LOT to be done in angst or in comedy depending on how nice this Madara is
So I'll leave it up in the air as readers choice ✨
Oh and also Hashirama is going to actually murder Zushi and possibly Madara. Like for real murder. Madara is terrified for his life. No one has seen Zushi in weeks and everyone knows she's a freaky little roach of a woman. Madara is NOT safe.
