RULE #1 Never cry. Why ruin your makeup or soak your brand new coat? Just keep it in or transform your sadness into anger. Anger is much more appealing than weakness. RULE #2 Always chew gum. Blow bubbles, pop it in annoyance, chew it until it grows stringy and thin between your molars. Keep your mouth busy. That way you can’t say anything you don’t mean. RULE #3 Bite your lip, not only will it attract the attention of the boy who holds his cup way too tight to have any idea what he’s doing with it, but it’ll also split open and your blood will act as a natural lip stain. RULE #4 Soak your homework in orange juice and force it down your throat. Gulp it down, don’t you dare heave it up. Fill up your stomach with the paper and hope to god you’ll pass chemistry. Who knows, maybe trees will sprout and you’ll finally be able to take in oxygen. It’s the breakfast of champions. RULE #5 Problems aren’t problems until you acknowledge that you have problems. So what if you drink a little too much on a school night? Who cares if you stand too long at the edge of the look-out point? Just flash them a smile, hike up your dress, laugh a little higher. It’s not running away from the issue if the issue doesn’t exist, right? RULE #6 Lock your closet, skeletons are only meant to be seen in your health class. RULE #7 Shatter your mirror, pick up a piece and hold it at arms length. There, now you can control what reflects back at you. Besides, it makes since to look at the individual parts of yourself, you’ve never been whole. RULE #8 Stand up straight, don’t bow your head. Blue blood may not run through your veins but, unless it spills, no one has to know. RULE #9 Remember that you’re a forest fire. You have poison underneath your finger nails. You are a wild thing, and wild things can not be tamed. RULE #10 If you can’t be guaranteed heaven then give them hell.

1. I always carry a lighter with me  because the thought of waking up to an empty bed makes me want to light myself on fire maybe you’ll see our house up in flames in your rearview mirror maybe I’ll just become an empty memory  2. It’s kind of funny  that when I asked you to take off the safety  you unintentionally handed me a loaded pistol and now I’m just waiting for you to tell me when to pull the trigger   3. I always carry a lighter with me  just incase you disappear but you’ll disappear anyways and you’ll take my lighters with you so you don’t have to live with the guilt of inadvertently destroying me 4. I think that once I realize the lack of permanence  in everything I will finally be happy  but it's the temporary things that scare me It’s the temporary that will bury my charred body in the rubble of a house that once promised permanence

It feels like my past is constantly your preset Promise compassion Deliver thorns Lie about your intentions Insist they are pure I promise I won’t believe you But I’ll probably forgive you anyway

the reason I went to that one party last year