#tearsthatcount

But still I like hearing them

But still it hurt when u broke them

I miss you now but I don’t really wanna tell you

Wishes you would show up at my door but then I’d be wasting my hope again

Wasting my love once more

Shouldn’t really blame you, maybe you just never need it

Tired of blaming my heart, though, for its resistance on learning

You’re always too lazy to speak so you always stab me till I’m bleed

Cause that would send your point across better

That I am the cigarette break, before you hold in your arms the prettiest thing

I understand, I do, but I play stupid and fell to your plays each time

You’re an expensive lesson I’m still going through hell trying to pay

Maybe instead of grown, you’ve turned me into somebody I don’t wanna admit

Carrying some unnecessary wound that still dyed my paper red

I don’t even like red, but I endure it just for you

Do you even know?

Or course you don’t. I make sure you never know.

Always be that girl with the content smiles and loving gaze for you

I don’t even like who I am when I’m with you

But I endure it

Cause even a slight word of complaint would send you away, and I hate waiting for you to come back

But I’m tired, can you see?

II. I'll keep all the words I never get to say to you, and you keep yours. We don't need to hear it. I'll break my pen and you break yours, I'd rip all paper in sight. We don't need to write the next chapter. Closure came in many faces and the one we get is the one without words.

III. I hope our next hapiness won't ever intertwine ever again. I hope our smile never rise at the sight of others again. Your eyes doesn't curve at that familiar crescent and the sounds of my chuckle doesn't reach your ears. I hope our excitement never get to beat in unison again.

IV. Blame it on the cultural differences then we blame it on 'never the right time'. But maybe the fault wasn't in our stars, the fault was in us. Two clock that doesn't tick at the same time yet insist on chanting an unharmonious choir. Magnets that kept repelling but can't help getting attract to each other. I've been swallowing all my metaphor cause it hurts to write them down, they kept saying how from the very first beginning we never got a chance.

V. Did you receive the alarm in red screaming regrets, too? There's nothing kind here anymore. What our heart really needs wasn't each other.

In this station, our heartbeat race one another in secret. I smiled to every words you said, but only one day later when you’re not around. When you’re around, though, we act the same plays as every other goodbyes. Swearing we’ll never try this again but we still keep the script tucked in our jeans.

I like your eyes better when I’m reflecting off them, and I like my laugh better when you’re here to hear it. I want your daylight not just your midnight. My hand is only steady when it’s holding yours. When it doesn’t though, it recites lists reason why it should stay this way. But you always let mine go so it kept staying this way. I don’t like it, but I understood.

Memory has strong teeth so I took them out one by one and scattered them around my messy room. If I pick it up again one day, good. If I never pick it up again, even better. I lose them perfectly, but they came back like metals to magnets once your smile got into my eyes. I could’ve just stop making new memories, but this part I never understood why.

You wanted certainty but I am the girl who only knows how to bleed poetry. I am the girl always thinking too much but never about the right thing. When I asked you to linger longer, you said no. I wanted to change your mind, but I understood better.

Everything is a loud come back be here but we ran out of tickets and im your last season but you’re my little black dress id wear you any time and day and season and this is a loud come back be here but our ears are stuffed with all the things that could go wrong so we’ll hear it and i’ll miss it and we’ll love the way it sound but we’ll pretend like we can’t hear anything; not even the memories

we’ll think about each other at night and when we are at last alone with our thoughts and i wish you were next to me but everytime we met its just a hello and goodbye and nothing in between and nothing in between and nothing in between i guess this is how it goes until “nothing” doesnt hurt anymore