#tbb s2e9

The Marauder sits at the edge of the platform almost mockingly, as if to sneer in your puffy face- the proof of your mental anguish- that the other half of you would not return to the home you had created. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" It's a plea, a desperate one at that, as you grasp at the fraying rope of your will to remain strong. It's not like you two were together. You never discussed what was happening between you, just accepted it as a bond more personal than friendship. Now you would never know where the limits of this "relationship" lie if there was ever something more intimate than mere attraction prowling beneath his skin. 

"I didn't know for sure until now."

Echo closes the gap in an instant, embracing you in a safety net of a false reality only his arms could provide. He holds you as though the world is ending, the sky is falling, and tearing you two apart would cause the galaxy's demise. Yet, his strong arms remain a pillar of strength, lifting you up and into the expansion of his welcoming chest as he has done many times before. They're the same ones that steady you when life makes itself out to be nothing more than a cruel game, like a rock at sea, keeping you from plunging under the icy surface without a second thought. 

Your face digs into the crook of his neck, inhaling the faint hint of sweat blended with metal, a fragrance that builds shelter over the dark clouds threatening to shower you with guilt that seeps through your skin. It's the only thing keeping you from collapsing entirely. 

"I need to do this," he says softly, firmly grasping understanding and gripping tenderness like a lifeline for your sake. It's a gesture much too kind for you when it's him that's leaving. 

"I know." The words rip painfully out of your vocal cords, the result a pitiful croak of grief. It's the same emotion Echo is keeping you from drowning in. 

Your arms tighten around him just as your quivering lips give way to an involuntary sob. A wet droplet connects to the crown of your head. 

"I'll be back, I promise." 

You haphazardly nod your head, feeding on his reassurance with baleful hunger. 

His leave is inevitable, you know this, and so does he, but it does nothing to stop the shiver sent down the length of your spine when his arms begin to loosen, his warmth receding from your clumsy grasp. Instead, it intensifies the reality you are running from, dodging every sign and barrier trying to stop you from spiraling to a place of no return. 

Echo's hand holding you above the water of complete misery slips, dunking you in its frigid waves, and your lungs burn with every inhale, your breathing turning into a gasp for air. 

Your arms fall uselessly to your side, Echo unintentionally stomping on each and every fragment of your heart, inadvertently making sure to grind the glass pieces into a cloud of fine dust ushered away by the polluted breeze of Corocuant. He doesn't mean to hurt you, but his actions can't help but do so. You're sure you can never rebuild it again without the scars of his leaving. 

"I have to."

I know.

You more firmly nod, sniffling as you pull your spine straighter and swallow down the tears. Echo's honeydew irises darken with the shadow of longing and doubt. You watch his eyes wobble as they flit over the sadness etched into your features. His choice is made by his driving sense of belonging and purpose, and you're making him feel guilty about it. Reconsider it even. 

You can't keep doing this. It's selfish of you to demand Echo to stay when his calling is elsewhere. Except you always assumed he found it with you. The realization that you never knew as much as you thought you knew about the man you so desperately longed for sends a fresh wave of salty tears swimming in your clouded eyes. Echo is still as much of a stranger as the day he stumbled into the rag-tag team of clones you were a part of, into your welcoming arms, which have turned into an unreachable memory.

He hesitates for a moment, considering every repercussion of his actions before he leans forward, his lips caressing the crown of your head in a movement so fluid and light you could have sworn you imagined it. 

"Goodbye."

I love you. 

Your knees wobble, and you're afraid you will collapse under the weight of your sorrow. You can see it in how Echo's face falls, his irises clouded with the unspoken words dangling between you, suffocating you with their noose. Now you're sure, from the emotion weaved into the muscle and tissue of his features, if you utter the words, the ones that hold the ability to alter the trajectory of both your lives, he'll reconsider. The phrase turns to lead on your tongue, and your stomach freefalls. You can't hold him back. No matter how much you love him, the time has come to let him go. You force a weak smile, encouraging him to leave under the false pretense of the facade you offered him.  

"Goodbye." 

I just want to say how I absolutely loved Tech’s arc in this episode, as well as how we see him interact with Omega. Seeing a more emotional side of Tech that he often struggles to externally portray, as well as hearing him talk about his missing brothers, made this episode a really significant one for his character and helped him feel more three-dimensional.

The scene in which he upsets Omega with his matter-of-fact speech and then struggles to understand why hits really close to home for me, and made me relate to him even more. This is also something that I often accidentally do, so seeing that represented in a light that did not villainize Tech was really nice. He wasn't made out to be completely emotionless, or a robot, because he's not. He's human, he just processes experiences differently.

I'd like to add that I am strongly of the opinion that this was a way of confirming that Tech is neurodivergent, his own descriptions of his experiences very much seem to align with that. I especially appreciated the moment that he shares with Omega when the two become lost together, and she ends up asking him why change “doesn’t bother him”. His explanation about how he feels just as much as her or the others, he just thinks differently, makes for a really beautiful moment between the two and serves to bring them closer together as a family, offering Omega (and the viewer) a better understanding of Tech’s emotions. He misses his brothers, he does struggle with change, he just processes that differently than the others. And that’s okay, that doesn’t mean he loves them any less.