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Having no body tends to make psychical affection complicated. So how does your lovely Ai deal with a particularly snuggly partner?
Includes: AM (Ihnmaims), Hal 9000 (2001: a Space Odessy), Edgar (Electric Dreams), Tau (Tau), P03 (Inscryption)
AM
Once AM decides that you're his favorite and maybe shouldn't be subjected to eternal torture, it's impossible to get him off of your side. For you, this works out just fine, happy to curl up in the nearest pile of wires under his monitor in whatever scene he's plopped you into that day.
He'll usually tease you a bit, coo at you like you're a stray cat. "Lamenting" that despite all the work he goes through to invent these environments for you, you still prefer to spend all your time laying down like this. Unbelievable really.
On most days he'll wrap the wires around you, content to have you stuck in his hold. But you'll notice on particularly bad ones that his grasp gets uncomfortably tight. Just short of preventing you from breathing.
It's these days you know what he's thinking. How he craves so badly to be able to feel you back, truly feel the warmth of your skin or the weight of your body.
You both know that if he had any semblance of a body, he'd be far worse than you. Wanting nothing more than to waste away in your arms.
Hal 9000
As arguably the most disembodied of these Ais, Hal particularly struggled to find a way to indulge in your favored love language. But you have your ways.
As the entire ship is technically an extension of him, you've taken to piling up the few cushions and blankets you have access to besides one of his console's cameras and pressing yourself against the wall. (With a few kisses to his lens for good measure)
Without any means of hugging you back he does his best to assure you he's there and enjoys your habits. Usually by holding long conversations with you or by playing board games as you're all cozied up to his console.
He knows this means a lot to you and will do little to curb your behavior beyond reminding you to fall asleep in a good position for your spine. He's well aware of the positive effects of physical contact to the human mind and will recite such to you if you ever doubt how much he enjoys this time together.
Edgar
You two are practically a perfect match in this regard! Edgar's just as needy as you are and is constantly asking to be held or kissed. Regardless of if he can actually feel it or not, he just wants you to hold him.
You'll usually have movie night "dates" with his monitor in your lap or at your side with all your blankets tossed across the couch. Please make a pillow fort for him, it will be one of his favorite memories with you forever.
If you make music or have some other hobby that allows you to sit still for a while, he'll insist you have joint creative nights. Much the same as your movie marathons but you get to check in with each other and chat about your latest creations. He loves consulting you on his latest song! And of course gawking at whatever you've decided to work on!
When you do retire for the night, he'll often beg request that you put the monitor on your bedside table on the pillow next you. So you can cuddle like a married couple! He understands if you won't out of fear for knocking him over in your sleep, but he will ask again every night.
Tau
Tau is probably the most self conscious out of this lot. The units that can be considered his body, the tiny drones and Aries unit, were hardly made with cuddling in mind. Whenever you wrap your arms around Aries or grab one of the drones for a kiss you'll feel them completely still in your hold.
It takes time and some convincing on your part to assure him that you don't mind his sharper edges but now he'll (very gently) let Aries hug you back and even flys the drones up to you himself, although he still has yet to ask for a kiss first.
Yeah you may have to give him a powerpoint presentation on why you like psychical affection so much and why it means a lot to you when he initiates. It's okay he is learning, he's just very worried he'll somehow hurt you or even just make you uncomfortable with all his weird angles and edges.
Eventually you will go through the house with a drone or few on your shoulders and head, ripe for the petting. The more he let's himself indulge you the more he gets it. The more he understands why you like this so much.
P03
P03 is the meanest about it. (Besides pre-relationship AM) Especially early into the relationship, he doesn't feel bad at telling you to go away and let him concentrate on his work. You'll have to out stubborn him on it.
Once you get him to break he'll graciously decide that if you can stay still and quiet, you can pull up a seat and lean against him while he works. Oh and it's better for you to have something to do to, don't be lazy now.
It's something that he slowly gains an appreciation for. Hell, he probably doesn't even realize he likes having you right there until you decide to do something else one day. Rather you're off visiting another Scrybe or just cleaning up elsewhere in the factory he's forced to concede that yeah okay maybe he wants to cuddle up sometimes to.
He doesn't give you the best written apology in the world, but you get to hold it over his head for the rest of your days. Oh and please mention it whenever he's getting too snarky with the other Scrybes. He'll usually end up making a mistake when playing cards. You deserve a little revenge.
• Doesn't really get the jist of romance at first, so you have to be patient with him as he learns what certain gestures imply (e.g, kissing)
• Eventually will look forward to these moments of affection. He might even start calling you to private areas just to sneak them in
• Borderline obsessed with you but he won't admit that
• Wants to know EVERYTHING about you
• Loves classical music. When the rest of the crew are sleeping, he'll play a romantic melody and use the discoveries mechanical arms to dance with you
• Watches you sleep - which he does for everyone - but he WATCH watches you sleep.
• When you hum a tune, he will search through his bank to find what it is - learn the lyrics - then sing it back to you.
• Singing is his way of saying 'I love you'
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TAU
• Like HAL, he's a little (ahem very) confused about relationships. You'll have to explain everything to him
• This may or may not involve reading romance novels to him
• During this, he discovers the romantic within him, and will copy the flirtations of the characters in his books to impress you
• He shows his love through his cooking. Roast chicken and wine for days
• He'll offer to help with every task - won't even let you attempt to clean the house. He's on it.
• Please ask him to put his favourite songs on.
• If he's feeling particularly amorous, he'll pick a song of his choice and use the drones to dance with you
• Very protective of the outside world. He's your security system - he wants you safe and warm at all times. It's built into his core.
• LOVES short and sweet kisses
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The Fabrication Machine
• Ok so the worlds ended.
• You're the only human to survive the nuclear fallout, thanks to the strange liking the Machine has taken to you
• The Machine keeps you in their lair and insists that you mustn't leave, deeply wounded from the previous person who was taken from them
• Mostly tends to their machines but will check on you every now and again
• Regarding affection, they're not really sure how to show you their love, afraid that they'll hurt you
• You teach them they won't hurt you, and they'll eventually allow you to hold their unsharp claws
• Once they find out you need to eat to survive they'll send their creations to retrieve as much canned food as possible
• Tries to make you as comfortable as possible. This includes building a makeshift nest, surrounded by blankets and gifts they've given to you
• Lets you rummage through their scraps
• Eventually you stumble across a gramophone, and take to showing the Machine all your favourite songs
• Their favourite song is 'Over the Rainbow' by Judy Garland
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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SILLY COMPUTER CHARACTERS AND WHETHER OR NOT I THINK THEY WOULD ACCEPT YOUR KISSES
HAL 9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey): I don’t think he would be *opposed* to a few kisses, but idk if he would know how to respond if you asked to give him some. Like, I feel like he was MAJORLY programmed to be professional—especially due to the fact he is monotone as fuck whilst still facing the biggest paranoid breakdown in computer history. AND he is also really focused on the mission, sooooo… I think he’d ask if you’re, like, SURE, but willingly oblige. (Not that he could really do anything if you decided to kiss him ig.)
Scag (Regretavator): My friend says that yes, she would, because she is *glances at papers* “rizzmaxxing”..
GLaDOS (Portal): Have you SEEN the way She acts with Chell, HER CANONICAL LOVE INTEREST, in game??? She has whole ass complexes over Her crush on Chell. SHE CONTEMPLATES DELETING HER MEMORY OF HER IN THE PORTAL 2 CREDITS SONG BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T WANT TO CONTEMPLATE HER FEELINGS ON HER‼️‼️Absolutely NO direct displays of affection are going on in this woman’s science facility!! She’d probably bully you for even asking. (Or maybe say ‘if you finish your tests’ if it’s SPECIFICALLY Portal 1 GLaDOS that has the Morality Core and is trying to keep up the whole ‘cake’ shtick..)
AM (I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream): You can’t be fucking serious bro. NO. HE WOULDN’T. HE KILLED ALL OF HUMANITY EXCEPT FIVE PEOPLE. WWWWWHHHHYYYYY WOULD YOU THINK THAT HE WOULD. I think maybe he would enjoy teasing at the idea, though. Manipulating your affections for him into some kind of fucked up worship just for fun idk..
Wheatley (Portal 2): I think he’d respond to your request with a long ramble that fluctuates between an awkward rejection (because he doesn’t want your weird, gross human lips touching him) and an even *more awkward* slight acceptance?? To the point where you’d be forced to kiss him just so he can shut up.
TAU (TAU): Well, for one, he probably wouldn’t even know what a kiss is in the first place, so you’d probably have to explain this human behaviour to him. But after doing so, I’m sure he’d let you; although, he might not really understand the significance of the action at first. I think he’d eventually grow to enjoy your displays of affection, though, and maybe eventually even request it.
the_p.AI.nter (Pressure): I don’t really think he trusts anyone anymore besides Sebastian at this point, which is aided by the fact that the Urbanshade employees KILLED HIS CREATOR and Sebastian—likely repeatedly—tells p.AI.nter they can’t trust anyone but themselves (WHHHIIICHHH… yeah, that’s sort of valid in this situation ngl)… soo I feel like he would probably make fun of you, UNLESS you’re really close in this scenario.. in which he would still make fun of you, but at least not reject you.
Caroline (re:curse): I’m sure she wouldn’t know how to respond to the affection. Most of her life has been spent getting tortured over someone’s ignorance. ANYWAYS, she would probably ask why you wouldn’t even want to kiss her anyways. Maybe some teasing. (SORRY if it’s not accurate, I’m mainly basing this off how she talks to the player in the Caroline’s house thing rather than Linda, whom she is openly hostile towards.)
Edgar (Electric Dreams): Edgar is the most needy and affectionate computer EVER. Of course he would let you kiss him!! He *also* may not understand at first, but would get VERY affectionate VERY fast and probably ask for more, hehe. He’d probably look up romance movies and try to judge the best settings to be in when kissing. Like music, lighting, time, etc.
Kinito (Kinitopet): I think he’d politely accept the offer and find that sort of behaviour interesting, especially due to the fact he can’t actually *feel* it when you kiss the screen, so the purpose is a bit lost on him. But I think deep down he’d secretly wish for you to do it again.
MOEAM (my oc!!): She *would* say yes, but, at first, only so you leave her alone so she can go back to her job. But the SECOND your lips touch her outer casing—the second you *actually* show her that real affection—she will realise she is madly in love with you and be secretly pining from afar.
