You had always prided yourself on avoiding gyms. You had avoided gyms like they were haunted houses, like cardio machines were secretly plotting against you, and like lifting weights was some form of ancient torture. Yet here you were, standing at the entrance of the swanky new fitness center your boyfriend had dragged you into, the smell of disinfectant and protein shakes invading your senses.

V was practically glowing or maybe that was just the sheen of sweat on his impossibly toned arms. He was wearing a fitted tank that made your knees wobble and a grin that dared you to complain.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” he chirped, already bouncing toward the treadmills like a child at a candy store. “You said you wanted to try something new!”

You blinked at him. “I did not say that. I said I might try sushi next week.”

He tilted his head, pretending to ponder. “Sushi can wait. Treadmills can’t.”

You groaned dramatically, dragging your backpack behind you, which felt 80% full of emotional baggage and 20% snacks (your priorities were clear). “Fine. But if I die, this is on you.”

“Deal,” he said, grabbing your hand and squeezing it like it was a lifeline. “But also, you’re not going to die. I’ll be right here.”

V’s energy was infectious, as always. Within thirty seconds, he had you walking on the treadmill like a terrified penguin, gripping the rails for dear life. He jogged beside you, his rhythm effortless, hair bouncing, smile teasing, as if this whole ordeal was a casual stroll in the park.

“You know,” he said, slowing down slightly to match your painfully slow pace, “most people start slow. You’re… very unique.”

You glared at him. “Unique? That’s what we’re calling dying on a treadmill now?”

“Exactly,” he said, mock-serious. “Unique is beautiful.”

You wanted to roll your eyes, but somehow, his ridiculous grin melted the sarcasm out of you. You hated gyms, yes. But you didn’t hate him.

Half an hour or maybe it was ten minutes, time distorted in a horror zone of treadmills later, you were sweaty, slightly breathless, and seriously questioning your life choices. Meanwhile, V was somehow unbothered, hopping off the treadmill and doing a few stretches that looked more like choreography than actual exercise.

“Okay, okay,” you wheezed, leaning against the rail for support. “Maybe gyms aren’t completely evil. But if you make me do push ups next, we’re officially enemies.”

V laughed, a deep, warm sound that made your heart beat in rhythm with his voice. “Deal. We’ll start with something easier. Maybe the rowing machine?”

You eyed it suspiciously. “Rowing? That looks like torture with water.”

“It’s… graceful,” V said, puffing up his chest, his ego on full display. “Like a swan. You’ll look like a swan.”

You snorted. “A swan having a heart attack, maybe.”

But somehow, the rowing machine wasn’t terrible. You still hated the exertion, but V’s hand stayed over yours, guiding you, and you ended up laughing more than groaning. You made ridiculous noises every time your arms flailed, and he matched every single one with a dramatic gasp of mock horror.

“Are you trying to row a boat or signal a distress flare?” he asked, his forehead nearly touching yours.

“I’m surviving,” you panted.

“That’s one way to put it,” he teased, leaning in closer. “I’m proud of you.”

You blinked at him. Not the gym, not the sweat, not the ridiculous amount of protein powder floating in the air just… him. The way he looked at you like you were the only person in the room. Your heart did that weird flutter thing you were not admitting in public.

And then, because V was V, he leaned down and pressed a soft, teasing kiss to your forehead. “See? Gym isn’t so bad with me.”

You groaned. “I hate that you’re right.”

Next, he led you to the weight section, and you almost bolted. Dumbbells looked like medieval torture devices, and the kettlebells… well, you weren’t going to even go there. But V just smiled, this dangerous, gleeful smile that made your stomach do somersaults.

“Here’s the plan,” he said, picking up a ridiculously light dumbbell. “We’ll do something called a ‘partner workout.’ You do one rep, I do one rep. We alternate.”

You blinked. “Partner workout? You’re calling exercise a date now?”

“Exactly,” he said, waggling his eyebrows. “You, me, sweating, laughing what could go wrong?”

A lot, you thought, but you nodded anyway, because he made everything sound like an adventure instead of a chore.

Fast-forward thirty minutes, and your arms felt like jelly. Your hair stuck to your forehead, your face was red, and you were 90% certain you smelled like gym socks. V, on the other hand, looked like he was auditioning for a fitness magazine.

You flopped onto a mat, dramatically wiping your sweat with your sleeve. “I hate this,” you whispered.

“Lies,” V said immediately, lying down beside you, his arm draping over your shoulder. “You secretly loved it. I saw the little smirk when I tripped over my own foot.”

You shoved him gently. “That was one time, and it’s not relevant!”

He laughed, warm and familiar, the kind of laugh that made every horrible rep and treadmill minute worth it. “Whatever you say, gym queen.”

“I am not a ugh, never mind. I’m dying,” you muttered, snuggling into his side.

“Good,” he said softly, kissing the top of your head. “Then let me carry you through life, treadmill-free if you want.”

Your heart melted. Okay, fine, gyms might still be evil. But V… V was worth every second of the torture.

You giggled, teasing despite yourself. “Next time, sushi first. Then maybe gym second. Maybe.”

“Deal,” he whispered, wrapping an arm tighter around you. “But no matter what, we’ll always make it fun. Even if it kills you.”

You rolled your eyes, but the warmth in your chest said otherwise. Even if you hated gyms, you would never hate him. Not ever.

Taglist 🥂

Sarah sighed, sending a glare at the paper bag guy as he sheepishly apologized and put his bag back in his backpack. “That’s what I’ve heard, but honestly it seems like just a rumor these days.”

You pouted in frustration at the kissing couple but they didn’t even look at you, too busy sucking face to notice that they were gross. “Kids these days, no manners, I swear.” You grumbled, highlighting a line about ISO invariance in bubblegum pink.

“You sound like an old lady.” Sarah chuckled.

“Maybe I am,” you griped, “you don’t know me.”

“I mean…I think I know you a little.” Sarah teased and you smirked up at her. Sighing, you sat back in your chair, capping your highlighter and dropping it on the table in favor of rubbing your face tiredly.

“Maybe we should call it a night.” She offered. “Besides, I’m so hungry I’m pretty sure my stomach has started eating itself.”

“Well who’s the one that didn’t bring a snack to the library?” You shrugged. “I did warn you.”

“Um, how dare you? You know I have Anna’s lasagna waiting for me at home. Honestly, a snack would just be disrespectful to that glorious bounty.”

You scoffed, “wow, waxing poetic here. Fine, fine, let’s go. Not like I can get anything done with all the noise and swapping of bodily fluids anyway.”

“Ew,” Sarah frowned, packing her bags and standing, “you make kissing sound so nasty.”

“To be fair, it kind of is.” You shrugged, swinging your backpack over your shoulder and pushing your chair in.

You shivered as you stepped into the evening, the wind whipping through your coat and knit sweater, deep into your bones. “Honestly, if the winter could end, that would be terrific.” You whined and Sarah chuckled.

“I don’t know, there’s something so charming about this time of year. Hot chocolate, sweaters and boots, warm fires, the holidays.”

“Pretty much all of those things are meant to combat the ickyness that is winter, though I am especially appreciative of the hot chocolate so I’ll give you that one.”

Sarah smirked, rolling her eyes. “How gracious of you. Plus, because it’s so cold it gives people a good excuse to partner up, you know, some good old fashioned body heat.”

You scoffed as she rubbed her shoulder against yours and swatted her away. “Calm down, you dirty old man.”

“I resent that comment.”

“You resent all my comments this evening, it seems.”

“Only the dumb ones.” She pouted and you laughed, linking your arm with hers. “So hey, I don’t know if I mentioned it or not but tomorrow Jin may or may not be coming over to hang out with me…and by that I mean Jin is coming over to hang out with me.”

You looked at your friend, stopping suddenly in your tracks and suddenly the two of you were squealing as though you were 17 again. “Oh my gosh, when did this new development happen?”

“Last night we ran into each other in the cafeteria. I was sitting down eating and he asked if he could join and we ended up just talking for hours. I asked if he wanted to come over to watch a movie sometime and things just kind of fell into place.”

“I’m so happy for you.” You smiled as the two of you resumed walking. “Seriously, I could tell you guys were really hitting it off. Well, don’t worry about me, I’ll make myself scarce for the evening. I’ll watch a sappy romcom in my room or go to the library and study.”

“Absolutely not.” She scolded, “You cannot spend your Friday evening by yourself studying or watching Bridget Jones’ Diary. Come on, Y/N, why don’t you call Taehyung and you can hang out? You haven’t seen him in like a week.”

“It’s OK, really. We’re both so busy getting ready for finals, I don’t think either one of us has thought about it.”

Sarah frowned, unlocking the front door to your house and stepping inside. “I’m positive that’s not true. You should text him, see if he has any plans. Don’t spend your Friday night alone, I’m serious.”

“Sure, OK. I’ll try and make some plans. Look, I’m pretty tired, I’m gonna go start getting ready for bed.”

“It’s 8:30.” Sarah frowned down at her watch.

“Nothing wrong with an early night.” You shrugged.

  ~~

The truth was you really just wanted to put on your fuzzy pajamas and watch a movie alone, but Sarah was extremely social and didn’t like to do things alone if she didn’t have to. While you loved your friend, sometimes you just wanted to do something to unwind without the pressures of keeping up conversation.

Besides, episodes of The Rain and a bag of popcorn were calling your name. You’d managed to make it through the entire bag of popcorn and 3 episodes before realizing you needed to go to bed, dreading the regret you’d feel in the morning when you would have to wake up early and curse yourself for staying up too late…again.

  The next morning was sunny and beautiful, albeit cold. You walked quickly, bundling your coat tight around yourself to keep out the wind that was already chaffing your cheeks. You wouldn’t be surprised if you showed up to History as an actual Popsicle.

“Y/N!” Someone shouted from behind you and you paused to look over your shoulder, watching as Taehyung jogged up behind you, hat pulled snuggly over his ears and his jacket zipped to his chin. His cheeks and nose were red from the cold and you were embarrassed to admit that you found it adorable. “Hey.” He smiled breathlessly once he’d reached your side.

“Hey.” You returned, resuming your walk with him directly beside you.

“I haven’t seen you around recently, I think you're ignoring me. I'm very offended." Taehyung pouted and you laughed, rolling your eyes. 

"Finals are coming up, you loser, I'm not ignoring you. I'm just busy."

 Taehyung grinned, bumping your shoulder with his. "I know. I want to hang out, though. Make some time for me? We can watch a movie and just hang out."

 "Sure. How about tonight? We'd have to do it at your place, though. Jin and Sarah are going to be dominating my living room."

 "Yeah, that works great, actually. Most of my roommates will be out so it will be quiet enough for a movie." 

 "Great, so I'll come over around 6 or something?"

 "Yeah, let's aim for 6:30. I can order pizza if you want."

 "Careful now, you may make me fall in love with you with those dangerous words of yours." You laughed and he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. 

 "That's the goal."

 You cleared your throat awkwardly, “anyway, how have you been?”

 “Good,” he smiled, “just been studying; finishing some papers and presentations. Finished my nightmare 15 page essay last night, actually, so you should definitely congratulate me.”

 “Congratulations,” you laughed.

 “What about you?” Taehyung asked, “Take any good pictures lately?”

 “I always take good pictures.” You scoffed, “but since you asked, yes. I actually went out two nights ago to get some pictures in the park. There was this incredible snow drift right by this clump of trees. The wind was blowing and I was pretty sure my fingers were going to need to be amputated, but the pictures I got were worth it. Kind of like watching magic happen.”

 “I love listening to you talk about pictures.” Taehyung said and you turned to glance at him. “It’s so satisfying hearing you talk about something you’re passionate about. These days I feel like no one really knows what they want anymore but you do.”

 “Well,” you coughed nervously, “I’ve always been like that. I’m the type of person that if I want something, I go out and get it.”

 “I admire that.” He smiled. “I want to be like that someday.”

“You already are!” You insisted, “You act like you’re born for it and you dance like a maniac.”

You could only see half of his face, but the sides of his eyes crinkling was enough to know he appreciated your words and you chuckled.

“So, are you sitting in on this class again?”

“Of course,” Taehyung grinned, “I’ve got to make sure to clear the cobwebs from my memory, got a few people who need some help after class. Pre finals freak outs.”

“Fair enough.”

  After classes you retreated back to your apartment to grab your camera and supplies. You had a portfolio due in your photography class and even though Sarah and Anna had insisted you had more than enough to do the assignment justice, you just really felt like it could use a couple more examples.

It was nearly golden hour and you wanted to take a few shots down by the lake. The park was completely deserted by the time you got there and you had just barely enough time to find a good spot and set up before the light hit its peak. The water had completely frozen over and the bridge had staggeringly beautiful icicles hanging from its edges that made you feel like magic must have occurred; there was no other explanation for the plunging, jagged edges and the dimming light bouncing off the crystal.

You knelt down in the snow, knees sinking into the frozen ground as you tried not to shiver, aiming your lens towards the lake as the mist began to seep across its top and through your bones. Twisting the lens into focus and slowly letting out a breath you began to take pictures.

It was therapeutic, capturing the beauty of the evening, the pristine snow that no one had bothered to disturb in the chill of the winter season. You felt like you’d been let in on some secret that no one else seemed to know about and it was at moments like these that you wondered if you were really willing to expose it.

But the answer was always yes. Your dad had talked about the world like it was a secret he was sharing with you. It was magical, it was beautiful, and it was meant to be seen. You wanted to continue that tradition, even if you couldn’t share it with him.

  After spending 20 more minutes in the snow and waiting until you were positive you would get frost bite if you stayed out any longer, you packed up your supplies and made the trek back to your apartment, taking off all your layers and bundling up in a blanket in the living room with Sarah as she started painting her toes the most obnoxiously bright pink you’d ever seen.

“What time is Jin coming over, again?” You asked, making sure your blanket was stuffed completely under your feet in an effort to become a full-fledged burrito.

“He won’t be here until around 7:30. He has a study group until 7:00 and then he said he’s gonna grab some Chinese takeout and bring it over.”

“Ooo,” you smirked, “romantic.”

“You sure are feisty these days.” She grumbled, zoning in on a spot where the nail polish had run slightly onto her skin.

“When have I ever not been feisty? Let’s be honest.”

“Well anyway.” She waved you away. “Did you make any plans tonight?”

“Yeah, actually I’m gonna watch a movie at Tae’s place so you and Jin can be alone. Dun dun dun!” You sang dramatically and she rolled her eyes at you, smirking. “Don’t you make me regret my decision to give you some freedom, young lady.”

“Wow, mom, thanks for the generosity. I didn’t realize I needed a reminder to ‘be safe.’ We’re not gonna have a birds and the bees talk, are we?”

"Look," you sighed, "all I'm saying is don't do anything I wouldn't do."

 Sarah laughed, "We both know how you are, if I follow that reasoning things will never go anywhere with Jin!"

 "Hey!" you scoffed, incensed, "I'll have you know that I'm sort of, kind of opening up to Taehyung so don't go crowing too loud yet, you wench."

 Chuckling, Sarah pulled her hair up into a bun and put one final stroke of her nail polish to her big toe. "Ok, Ok, calm down. I'll be good tonight. But hey, I could say the same for you. Don't go doing something crazy like kissing the guy. Wouldn't that be a scandal?" 

 You rolled your eyes, "trust me, that's not going to happen."

 Sarah grinned, "You should try it; you might like it."

 You rolled your eyes at your friend when suddenly there was a knock on the door. You looked at Sarah and she frowned, "I don't think that's Jin, he's super early if it is. I don't even have my top coat done!"

 "I'll go check."

 Standing on the other side of the door wasn't Jin, however. Though his hood was up and most of his face was covered by a scarf, you'd known those brown eyes anywhere. Which was horrifying to admit.

 "Taehyung?" You murmured. "What are you doing here?"

 "I'm here to pick you up!" Was his muffled reply. His eyes crinkled together with a smile and you couldn't help but smile back. 

 "Let me just grab my coat." After calling out a quick goodbye to Sarah, you closed the door behind you and started making your way with Taehyung by your side." You really didn't have to pick me up," you blushed. The wind nipped at your cheeks and you pulled your scarf tighter around your neck. 

 "What kind of guy would I be if I didn't? This is a date, after all, I'm not gonna let you walk to meet me at my place. You deserve to be picked up for a date...even if it is just casual hangout style."

 "Oh." You murmured, blushing harder. You blamed the wind. "Well thank you, it is nice to have the company right now."

  Once you reached the safety of his apartment he closed the door behind him and you slid your coat from your shoulders, pulling your scarf off and sitting them on the back of one of the dining room chairs. "It's surprisingly clean in here." You remarked casually, looking around. 

 "Ah yeah, I cleaned a little bit earlier." Taehyung smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Anyway, come here, let's choose a movie."

 You both bent down to flip through the case of movies laying on the floor, stopping here and there to ponder over one or the other. "Oh!" He called suddenly, stopping and pointing to one movie in particular. "Have you ever seen this movie?"

 "Amelie?" You queried, pausing, "no, I've never heard of it."

 "It's really good, it's a French movie with subtitles so I don't know if you'd be into that type of thing, but it's a really feel good, warm kind of movie that I think you'd like. Maybe."

 You smiled as he looked down at the movie self-consciously. "I'm gonna take a wild guess and say it's your favorite?"

 He chuckled and nodded, looking back up at you. "What gave it away?" He teased. 

 You shrugged with a smile, "OK, I'm down to watch something new. It better be good though, Mr. Kim, or I'm gonna be disappointed." 

 Taehyung laughed, taking the DVD from the case as you made your way to the couch and waited for him to start the movie. "Well I think it's great. I'll be waiting with baited breath for your opinion once the movie ends."

 Taehyung turned off the living room lights before settling beside you on the couch with a blanket, offering you half and you greedily took it. The evening chill had gone straight to your bones and you still didn't feel like you'd fully thawed out. 

 The movie was rich with beautiful imagery. Set in a beautiful country you yearned to visit and filled with such brilliant colors you were convinced needed to be etched into the film of your camera. 

 The main character was quirky and charming, much like Taehyung and you supposed that's why he liked the film so much. She had a sweet disposition, dark eyes, and she spoke like she was filled to the brim with an innocence you wished you still had. 

 She was relatable, in the loss of a parent. She chose to live her life making others happy when she herself felt so much isolation. It was admirable. She sought to heal by healing others and you sought to heal by locking beauty in photographs meant for only you. 

 A movement at your side caught your eye and you glanced down to find the side of Taehyung's hand against the side of your own and you swore your heart actually leapt into your throat. How long had your fingers been this close? We're you supposed to hold his hand? No, that would be presumptuous, his hand was just sitting there; unassuming. Did you even want to hold his hand? Maybe. Probably. Yes. 

 But no! Oh no, that was too much pressure and the thought made you feel a little bit sick...but not necessarily bad sick. Were those butterflies in your stomach? At this point you weren't even watching the movie anymore, just having a silent panic attack over basically nothing. What was wrong with you? A boys hand is slightly close to yours and you have a mental break down. 

 This was extremely embarrassing. Thank the high heavens Taehyung wasn't privy to your thoughts; you'd probably drown in a pool of your own sweat and tears. Is this what an existential crisis felt like? This was more stressful than your algebra final last year. 

 In the middle of your own personal crisis you didn't notice at first, the twitching of fingers, the subtle touch until suddenly your heart stilled completely and you held your breath. His finger was most definitely moving against yours. And not in the 'oops, I was just moving my hand' way, but the 'I'm definitely stroking your pinky with my pinky' way.

 Was it possible to die from nervous heart palpitations? You would like to submit yourself for testing because, honestly, this was more anxiety inducing than it really should be. Despite how tense you felt, you were surprised when your fingers grew a mind of their own and started twitching closer to his. 

 His fingers slowly lacing with yours was surprising...but you didn't blow up, so that's good. His hand was warm, but then so was yours. Frankly, yours was probably clammy which made you want to shrivel up in embarrassment, but he said nothing and began to stroke his thumb across the back of your hand. 

 Your mouth was dry. Actually, maybe it wasn't? No, no it definitely was. It was like the Sahara desert in there and you tried not to clear your throat in discomfort. There was no need to draw attention to your predicament. Why were you so bad at this? He was just holding your hand! People did this all the time, even with just friends...though this felt a lot less "friend" and a lot more "boyfriend," but still. 

 Also, why was your body leaning into his? You blamed it on a draft from the windows, which was bogus because they were well insulated. This was fine, it was all fine. You were a little cold, you needed some body heat. The blanket across your legs wasn't nearly enough. That's really the only thing you could think to explain why your head was now leaning on his shoulder. 

 You glanced up at him from the corner of your eye. His body said calm but his eyebrows couldn't lie. He was nervous too. It was endearing, actually, to know you weren't the only one a little on edge, although he was probably not a wreck like you were. 

 You tried to pay attention to the movie, really you did, but his hand in yours and the steady breath making is chest rise and fall was distracting. "This is my favorite part." He mumbled softly as the main character invited her romantic interest inside. You couldn't help yourself, glancing up at him instead and he looked down at you in surprise. 

 He was mesmerizing. So handsome it hurt a little. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks softly as he blinked down at you and you tried not to bite your lip. That seemed like the wrong thing to do right now. Or maybe it was the right thing? Your brain had stopped working the second his finger had touched yours. 

 A small puff of air hovered on your cheeks, his face only inches from yours when suddenly the dam was broken. His mouth was like fire, his lips, his fingers moving across your cheek, like electricity shooting through live wires. His lips were so soft. Were lips supposed to be that soft? Weren't they supposed to be a little chapped? What kind of Chap Stick did he use? They were so soft.

 The tip of his tongue pressing to the seam of your lips was like a spark and you breathed him in deeply, fingers threading into his dark hair and taking hold of the strands at the back of his neck. He tasted sweet and slightly musky, like a mix of coffee and vanilla. Pulling you straight into his lap, your hips settled against his own, knees firmly planted in the cushions of the sofa as you kissed him with abandon. 

 His fingers were hot, his tongue was hot; his mouth was like fire. You could feel the evidence of his attraction in the seat of his jeans. Your blood was boiling. You were flying way too close to the sun. It was blinding you. It's too much, too much, too much! Suddenly you ripped yourself away, staring at his wide eyes and swollen lips in shock before launching yourself from his lap and racing to your coat. 

 "I'm sorry, I gotta go. I forgot...something, I forgot. I gotta go." You fumbled awkwardly with your coat and charged at the front door, giving one final look at the way Taehyung's expression shuddered from confusion to hurt before flinging yourself out the door and back into the night.

 You ran home blindly, lungs burning from the strain of breathing in the mid-winter air. Barreling through the door you found Jin and Sarah sitting on the couch talking and they looked up at you in surprise.

 "Y/N." Sarah said and you grabbed her arm, pulling her towards her bedroom. 

 "I need to talk to you real quick." You spluttered. 

 Once the two of you were safely behind closed doors Sarah looked at you, hands coming to hold your shoulders and eyebrows furrowing. "What's wrong? What happened?"

 "I-we-oh my gosh, it's just too much. I can't- I don't even know how to process anything."

 "Slow down, start at the beginning."

 Taking a deep breath you held your face in your hands and pushed the words as fast as you could through your lips. "We were watching a movie, right? Some French movie with subtitles that was honestly very Taehyung and it was beautiful and I was super invested and then suddenly we were holding hands and the movie was starting to get kind of romantic and then all of a sudden we were making out and I was in his lap and I got so freaked out, I didn't know what to do so I-"

 “Wait, he kissed you?” Sarah squealed and you frowned.

 “Yes.”

 "But then you left and came here?!" Sarah gasped. You bit your bottom lip, nodding and staring down at the carpet. "Oh my gosh, why? If Jin kissed me and then ran out I’d be devastated. Y/N, I know this kind of stuff is hard for you and I’m really proud of you for opening up and being willing to try, but this is not the right way to handle something that scares you. He’s probably really confused and hurt.”

 "I didn't know what to do." You whispered, your heart shriveling in shame. You hadn't really thought about how he'd feel in the moment, you'd felt so overwhelmed and just reacted. 

 "You need to go back and talk to him. If he's a good guy he'll respect your desire to move a little slower, but running out on him was really not the right way to handle that situation. I can't believe you just ran out." She frowned and you wanted to cry. Why couldn't you just be like everyone else, why did you always have to shut people out?

 You really did like, Taehyung, too. Were you just on a bullet train to watching this whole thing with him crash and burn? Why couldn't you just be normal?

 "OK," you murmured, "you're right. I'll go back and talk to him." 

 Sarah pulled you into a hug, "I love you, hun, I hope you remember that. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad or anything, I was just really shocked. I think talking to him is the best thing to do right now. Even if you end up breaking things off with him, at least he'll know where he stands." 

 You shook your head, tears welling behind your eyes, "I don't want to break things off with him." You whispered, "I just feel confused." 

 "Well, go tell him what's on your mind. He might be able to help clear up any confusion."

  You shivered, stepping back into the brisk night air, pulling your gloves and coat tighter around you and moving quickly towards Taehyung's apartment. This was a conversation you felt like you’d been dreading your whole life. What good was it building walls if someone knew how to climb them? 

 Knocking on the door with frost bitten knuckles, you waited apprehensively. There was a moment in time that you genuinely contemplated running, this was so far from what you wanted to be doing right now; but you steeled your nervous and waited.

 The door opened slowly, Taehyung looking out at you carefully. “Hey,” you murmured, “can I come in?”

 He didn’t say anything for a moment and you thought he might tell you to buzz the hell right off, but then he was opening the door a little wider with a quiet, “sure” to greet you. Stepping back into the kitchen you noticed he’d turned the living room lights back on and the TV had been switched off, but everything else was the same as you’d left it 20 minutes ago.

 “Did you want to sit down or something?” He asked gently and you shook your head, turning to look at him.

 “Actually, I want to apologize. I’m so sorry I just…you know, ran out like that. I got really overwhelmed and went into panic mode.”

 “Oh.” He mumbled.

 “I told you that I’m willing to try and I am, that hasn’t changed,” you replied carefully, “but I need to move a little slower. I’m a really nervous person about this sort of thing and I’m just not ready yet.”

 Taehyung sat down at the kitchen table, hands twisting together as he focused his eyes down on the table cloth. “I understand,” he replied, looking up at you, “I’m sorry if I took things too far tonight, I didn’t even think about it, it just felt like we were having a moment, but I should have thought about how you felt.”

 You sighed, coming to sit beside him at the table, hands still bunched in your coat pockets. “We were having a moment.” You admitted softly, “But I’m not good at these sorts of things. I’ve put up walls to protect myself for a really long time and I’m not really sure how to take them down. I just need a little time.”

“Ok,” Taehyung smiled softly, “I can give you time.”

“Thank you.” You smiled. “You know, we never ordered that pizza.”

He chuckled softly, standing up to grab a menu from the fridge door and dropping it onto the table in front of you. “Take your pick, I’m pretty happy with anything.”

The rest of the evening was spent with a stuffed crust margarita and comfortable conversation, enough to lull you back into a quiet sense of security before he dropped you back off at your house with a quick hug and a good night.  

…but sleep would not be coming easy tonight.

 I’m so sorry this took me so long to update! I was in the process of moving and then I got so unbelievably busy along with being in a slump and things started off REALLY rough at my job but it’s finally here. I hope it was worth the wait and that the angst isn’t too bad, haha. I’m a poor judge of how angsty something is, truly. As always, please let me know what you think!

Chapter 9

Chapter 11

Y/N its too cold" Taehyung whined wrapping himself into the blanket as i turned the night light on. "Well it was raining before, maybe that’s why?" I said trying hard to justify the sudden insane cold, your feet hit the floor, the cold on the ground spiking against the warmth of your feet. I waddled over to the window you tired and your body cold, opening the curtains a slight bit, you saw spikes of frost edging onto the window seal.

I instantly gasped shutting the curtain completely and turning around to taehyung. "What? What is it?" He asked groggily, sitting up slowly at your excitement. With a quick epped i flung open the curtains dramatically, showcasing the snowflakes delicately falling from the sky.

"WHAT?! ITS SNOWING!" Tae shouted as he jumped from the bed, all signs of tiredness disappearing from his face. He ran over goggling at the snow falling on the ground, his eyes wide and filled with joy. My eyes glanced at his handsome face, a small smile making its way onto my lips as his smile widened.

“let’s go outside!” he suggested excitedly. We both scrambled to get on some warm clothing so we could go and enjoy the snowy weather.

As you stepped outside the instant change from warm to cold sent a shiver down your spine; despite the toe curling cold the white snow falling from the sky had you both staring out in awe.

As you admired the way the snow lay like a blanket on everything around you, you didn’t notice Taehyung shuffling around behind you.

“Y/N”

As you turned around your face was met with a snowball. You gasped as the snow broke from its ball form, spreading itself around your face, instantly removing any warmth you had and replacing it with Icey cold numbness.

“You're so dead” you giggled as you started collecting snow from the ground getting ready for war.

You and Taehyung ran around chasing each other with snow and giggles, the small light provided by the street and the moonlight captured Taehyung’s enchanting smile as he swung you up into his arms.

“Remember when we met last Christmas?” Taehyung asked softly as he set you back down on the ground.

“hi, my names Y/N, Welcome to Santa’s Shop, how may I help you?” you asked as you approached the grown male. You figured he was lost since this store was mainly for kids and their parents, not like you were complaining though, he was extremely attractive.

The man turned to you with wide eyes, his mouth open and closed like he was going to say something but nothing came out of his mouth.

“are you looking for anything special?” you asked after a moment of silence.

“er, would you know how to get in touch with Santa?” he asked quietly.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. What the hell? Is he serious?

“errr sir…you know Santa isn’t real, right?” you asked as you leaned in closer to avoid any of the children running around the shop to hear.

“yer I know, but he’s the only one who could help me get what I really want” he sighed as he looked down at the floor sheepishly.

“well…what do you want? Maybe I could help you?” you asked him sweetly as his eyes rose up to meet yours.

“maybe you could” he said as a rectangular smile graced his face.

You smiled at the memory as you nodded your head happily “yer? What about it?” you asked as he took your hand in his.

“it was you Y/N” he smiled as he kissed your hand softly “I wanted you”.

A small blush creeped onto your face as you shoved his shoulder lightly “your so cute” you said pinching his cheek causing him to whine.

You laughed lightly as you took in all his features and all the memories you share with the silly boy standing in front of you.

"What? He asked turning towards you as his eyes bored into yours

"i love you" i whispered softly as you turned my head back up to the sky.