#vangst

You watched their recording from backstage with both pride and concern as you noticed all of the changes they have went through in years. With a hair brush in one hand and a hair spray in the other, you patiently waited for a cue from the directors to take a styling break. Being the perfectionist you were, stubborn strands of hair sticking out in all different directions on Hoseok’s head ironically gave you more anxiety than anything. He just had to start dancing out of nowhere in the middle of recording and mess his hairstyle up, there was no way a show could go without it.

So lost in checking on the boys, you haven’t even noticed one of the rookie idols speaking until a loud squeal of the mostly teenage audience caught your attention. It seemed to have been the end of his speech therefore you had no idea what he just talked about, but judging from the boys’ faces it must have been something impressive.

“Cut! We’ll take a twenty minute break!“ One of the directors announced as they have discussed it beforehand. All of the idols visible on the screen sighed in content - being energetic and interesting for hours wasn’t the easiest task on the planet, especially with their hectic all-day schedules.

The moment you heard a cue, the room filled with other staff members became a mess as they all started rushing to grab the tools needed. Makeup artists, stylists, hair stylists, technicians among many other people who stood behind a group and silently became a part of their success. 

“Good job, keep it up.“ You heard one of the BTS managers say as they entered the room in a rush. Twenty minutes may seem long, but in their world it was more like two minutes of rest and eighteen minutes of being passed from hands to hands as the staff members crowded around them.

You looked around to find Hoseok, but noticed that one of the other hair stylists has already been taking care of the nest on his head. Damn, taking the work you’ve been itching to do for half of the show.

Before anything else distracted you again, you noticed Taehyung standing in the corner and simply looking at the members with unreadable expression. All of your previous concerns bounced right back seeing him so isolated from everyone else and so you decided to take some of his burden on your own shoulders.

“How’s your hair still perfect?“ You asked with a warm smile, standing on your tip toes to brush through his already well styled hair. For no particular reason - you just needed a topic to hopefully start a conversation.

“I don’t know. It just is.“ He answered so evasively that your eyebrows involuntarily scrunched up. 

“Is there something wrong? You’ve been so quiet the entire recording.“ You said, deciding to just be honest with him. As far as you’ve remember, he always appreciated honesty even if it was painful to bear the truth.

“No, everything’s fine.“

You lowered your gaze from his hair to his eyes and were surprised to notice that he stared at something without averting his gaze at all. Following the trail, you found yourself gazing at the screen placed on the wall across the room which repeated the already recorded part of the show. Even though there were many different parts, it happened to be airing the speech of the rookie boy good enough to make girls squeal in excitement. Upon a closer look, you noticed how he wasn’t nervous at all with a gentle smile on his face, wise words and captivative sparkle in his eyes. No wonder he was admired by the audience.

“He’s so mature and calm.“ A bunch of words slipped past Taehyung’s lips grabbing your attenion and alarming you in a way. “I wish I could be like him. I bet no one finds him a weirdo of the group. No one calls him an alien for fun.“ He added with distinct sadness trembling through the tone of his voice.

An ‘oh’ accidentally escaped your lips as you realized what it was about. It suddenly made so much sense as you’ve seen him watching some old fan video on youtube while you were doing his hair before. Although you haven’t seen the full title, you noticed it contained a compilation of Taehyung’s funny moments - there must have been something which bothered him a lot. Despite being from around debut, you bet the video had some fresh comments from people not knowing how he matured throughout the years. The comments were always either a ray of sunshine or a pit of darkness for the boys.

“What are you talking about?“ You suddenly asked with surprising firmness in your voice. “Be you. No one else can.“

Such simple words yet somehow meant so much to him.

“That guy is being himself and you should too. Your fans love you for your own personality, not for someone else’s you’d want to be.“ You smiled brightly at the change in his expression. As if he was reflecting on himself. “No one else can be a Taehyung and we need a Taehyung! Go show your fans the Taehyung they admire.“ You exclaimed with positivity filling you up to the brim. 

What you’ve been dying to see eventually happened - he smiled in that boxy smile of his always making your day a hundred times better.

“I’ll do that! Watch me Taehyung all the way to the end of the show!“ He joked with motivation shining bright in his squinted from a smile eyes. With freshly gained strength, he soon followed the other members and made a way more relaxed apprearance with the fans loudly cheering him on.

That way you’ve gained another verb to play around with - you not only Jimin today, but also Taehyung all the way!