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Court today
Court.... Let's start by saying today is our first day of Easter break. Who cares? We had to have the kids at a visit at 8am to get it fine before 9am court. I was slated to testify because none of the mental health professionals treating my kids will stand up for them and say in court that visits are tearing them apart. Instead they expect me to go on the stand and say that. We've been in this shit mess for almost 18 months or something. A long time. I've lost count. In that 18 months it's been pretty clear that parents need to get it together to get them back. Well, dad shows up to court today high, without an attorney. He was flailing around and laughing. Insane. So after two hours it's been decided we need to continue to give him time to get a lawyer. Wait a minute..... He had one and chose not to pay her so she won't represent him anymore. Is that the kids fault?? Is that the agencies fault? Or the county??? Nope but you can bet he got more time. He has more rights than the kids he chose to abuse. So let's see. Two birthdays, two Christmas, two thanksgivings, two Halloweens, two Easters, two baseball seasons, huge milestones, and they have missed all of that. Two kids who don't really know where home is. Two kids who want permanency. Three other kids who took in a little brother and sister and worry about them and when they will be taken away. Someone tell me when somebody is going to put these kids first??? How can anyone be ok with this? They are humans. Little humans who are going to grow up to be big humans and all of this will certainly pave the path of life for them. I'm sad for them and my family, and for every other child stuck in this shit hole of a system.....
Let the Rollercoaster continue. I guess this is how it all works but man oh man. It's killing me. Let me start by saying I never intended to foster. I've worked with countless children as the FSW for Head Start, but never intended on parenting any of them. I have 3 of my own and being a single mom is hard enough. One chilly day in October I went out to lunch and came back with 2 extra children. ... Yesterday the little Sass turned 4. We had previously planned a big party for her this weekend, but since parents now get them Friday - Sunday we had to nix that idea. Decided cake and gifts at home last night would be enough. Little Man had ball practice, which parents take him to now as well. At pick up I requested they bring them home as soon as practice ended so we could celebrate the big 4. That would've been about 6:15. Well... it didn't work out like that. At about 7:45 they come pulling in all smiles and giggles. I'm not laughing. I'm pissed. They apologized for being late but they had to take the princess to see the PONY they bought for her birthday. Seriously?!?! I'm raising your kids and you buy a fucking pony? What's wrong here?? How about a stable home and safe vehicle before a pony... My frustration is real. These people screwed up BIG TIME and lost these kids and have more rights than I do. Let me add that these kids were placed here at the parents request. Little Man is a former student of mine and I happen to be in the area when the shit storm came down on them and the heroine finally caught up to them. I have zero say in anything. Suddenly we go from supervised visits to weekends to 5 days a week seeing them?? Where is the stability here? Oh and let's not forget sending them home in June because after all they have been clean for 6 months and just found a house 2 weeks ago. Kudos to them. This system sucks and I'm watching 2 children become nothing but a statistic in all of this mess. God help me.
You fake sex. I fake school.
Improper answers masked by complicated equations. Miss-pronounced words hidden by an accent. Google glued to my hip; APA is easier that way.
My career as a student is a lie You let my time fly Oblivious to what I'm doing. Even though it's obvious.
Arrows point to miss-direction. But they miss-directed you. Oh well. I'll pass. You'll fail.
You just don't know it yet.
Thoughts.
"The only way to change the system is to be the change within the system."

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