#syscourse vent

Like ik we're a big-ish voice for antiendos, and we are still against the behavior the community has shown, but god. I'm tired.

I dont even care whose right anymore I just want everyone to stop fighting. I want to live peacefully. I want to post about being a system without having to fight, I want to learn about being a system without being fed misinformation or fighting with people. I want to exist in my community without having to put up wall after wall. Why do I have to keep protecting myself from people who claim to be "safeplaces" or "mental health advocates"

I'm tired.. I'm so fucking exhausted by all of you

‘well you should be angry that ifs exists then.. it’s a bigger problem than endos!” blawg.. everyone still has parts of self that construct a whole, i never claimed that wasn’t true.. it’s an effective therapy approach, even if it is kind of frustrating that it can be misleading depending on the patient—and that a large chunk of the terminology is also used by dissociative systems. IFS can be extremely effective in helping you connect & understand those parts of self even if they’re not literally structurally dissociated, and it still doesn’t literally aim to convince patients that they have alters. alters is a d.i.d term and you cannot say otherwise. i honestly don’t know a lot about internal family services because it’s extremely difficult to find specialists in, but regardless of whether IFS utilizes similar terminology and if i can agree on whether or not that’s equally as problematic, my literal entire point was that i wish it were easier to filter through ‘other plural content’ for d.i.d content specifically—not that you’re going to hell or something for posting it.

it isn’t the existence of the content that bothers me, it’s not my business; it’s the fact that i can’t filter it even when i really try. it’s clearly not something that’s going to change, but i’m still allowed to be frustrated that it’s been a persistent issue in my personal experience..?

blocking radqueer tags isn’t always the solution to the problem either, unfortunately, and everyone in my replies who said the problem “didn’t exist” were—surprise surprise—not cdd patients. i’m so sick of people taking literally everything as a personal attack when i’m speaking about a specific event that happened to me. like i’m not talking about you if you have basic respect for d.i.d patients, so don’t reply? you’re not who i was addressing, then, and i’m not sure why you feel targeted by my diary post.

just like you’re allowed to be upset with ‘antis’ in your spaces—which i’ll add, literally just do your own thing in your own space whilst having consideration for everyone else and that is completely valid to me—we’re allowed to be personally frustrated that you’ve taken it upon yourselves to say that you should be included in communities that are intended to address dissociative plurality. it’s definitely not like there aren’t thousands upon thousands of posts on here from d.i.d patients expressing their frustration with the blend between our spaces or anything.

“system was used before the 90s and the term doesn’t belong to you guys either!” okay, that’s valid. that’s not even the problem. it’s just easier to find people who relate to you in separate communities that don’t use the exact same terminology as one another, don’t you think? i’m gonna say it again. it’s a personal frustration. the entire point was that separate communities would benefit all parties. separate doesn’t mean you guys don’t deserve one at all? it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve the respect that you give others?

There's only two endogenics who post frequently in the tag: us, and Sophie. Mostly just us these days. (Edit: yes there's more out there than just us two, but I'm referring only to frequent regular posters - it's a rare week that we don't say at least two things in the tag.)

Meanwhile there's at least four to five times that many traumagenics who post heavily in the tags. Most of which have CDDs.

Know what the tag DOES have a lot of?

Systems that are not virulently anti-endo.

There's a difference. There's even anti-endos in the tags that we'd consider friends. Because unlike some new folks in these parts, they don't attack our very existence. They may not like some of the terms we use, or some of our beliefs and stances, and we do understand where that comes from.

Hi. I know this is a very out of nowhere post as I’m literally just an emoji blog run by some shut-in teenager, but I feel like I have to say something because this has been on my mind for months now. As you all may know by now, I am a self diagnosed/and or questioning system, having only gone through a syscovery recently. Here-in lies my issue.