Heartburn | Ch.14.
contents (nsfw): Dunk x fem!Reader, Modern AU friends to lovers rom-com with pregnancy. Humour, fluff (this is a breather chapter, they just enjoy each other for a bit), acts of service, mild foot fetish (just devotion, devotion, devotion), hand jobs, sub!Dunk, coming outside, lactation kink, dirty talk, breeding kink mentioned, fingering, good boy, coming in pants.
<- previous chapter MASTERLIST next chapter -> (24/07)
synopsis: In which it momentarily settles. (Pregnancy status: 30 - 32 weeks, III trimester).
word count: 11,3K
a/n: Banner by me, dividers by @strangergraphics, proofread by @hextoken!
Duncan's sat on the floor by the legs of the bed with his head bowed and a small desk lamp pointing its beam directly onto his lap. There rests your foot. His thumb is warm in your arch, fingers cradling your toe knuckles. He's bowed so that you only see the tense line of his shoulders, though from the overall stressed stance you can tell he's squinting.
"I told you I can try doing it myself," you say.
"Hush, girl," he huffs. "You've such tiny toes, is all. I don't want to hurt ye."
"I still maintain it's you who has huge paws," you murmur. Duncan lifts his head. Hair has sneaked under his glasses and falls into his eyes. He's frowning in what you mark as an attempt at looking stern. "You won't glare me out of a fact, darling."
He sets the nail clipper down. Slides his hand down to your Achilles tendon and raises your foot so that it levels with his chest. There, he sets his free palm flat to your sole. The tips of his fingers reach slightly beyond your toes. "See?" he says. "A wee little foot. With wee little toes."
"Proves nothing," you say. "Only that you are a giant."
Air puffs out through his nose. He hangs his head down, and for a second you're ready to celebrate your victory. But then you notice him bowing lower and lower while your foot is being raised higher and higher, both by near imperceptible increments. Before you know to wrench out, his teeth sink in the ligament of your arch. Lightly. Sweetly.
"Dunk!" you squeal. Jerk your knee, but his grip is too strong.
His jaw unclamps, but lips stay where they are. He kisses over the bite. Higher, on the joint of your biggest toe. Then, he sucks the toe itself into his mouth and hums. His eyes close. Yours stay wide open as you watch him.
It's been plenty of this recently—small acts, little gestures of devotion Duncan keeps doing to attach action to his declaration of not going anywhere. It feels nice. He's able to turn the most wicked things into something hallowed. The sucking continues until he's satisfied with your silence. He releases your toe with a soft pop, and sets your foot back down onto his lap.
"That's better," he says. Then—click. A strip of your toenail falls onto a towel he has spread on the floor.
You've been needing someone as your loving lackey more and more as of late. The belly has become an unfamiliar ballast and an obstruction impossible to compare to anything from the past, no matter how violently your weight has been fluctuating between late teens and late twenties. It makes some elements of necessary daily maintenance, and an unnecessary (but missed) portion of grooming, unachievable alone.
Which is how you end up under Dunk's compromised, but still watchful eye. It's been two weeks since he brought his bag and announced he would stay here for a bit, which in reality meant simply moving in.
At first, the arrangement rubbed somewhat ill-fitting. The punishment you both had invented on the bed stretched itself into smaller punishments and kept finding Duncan in odd places. In the kitchen, the hall, beside the washing machine with one of your bras held between two fingers and a resigned expression of someone wronged by situations needing an instructions unclear label. You became quippy with him without meaning to. Sometimes sharp, sometimes, embarrassingly, cruel without a point to it over the angle of a pillow or the way he asked if you wanted tea. It rarely came from any great store of resentment towards him. More often it sprouted from the grand insult of needing witness. Your body had become a public inconvenience, and Duncan, by caring about you enough to stay, had also become the nearest official representative of the court.
He took it bravely. Came home straight from school, hair upset by weather or children or both, and answered every ridiculous text as if responding to a distress flare. I feel like death. I’m so tired and I have a headache. I think I’m hungry but I can’t eat. My back is broken. The baby is punching my ribs. Never mind, I just ate a banana. To all of it there would come the little typing dots, then: Do ye want me home? Or: Have water, please. Or: Left side, lassie. Try left side. Sometimes just: I’m sorry. I’ll be there soon.
He made an effort with the rest of it too. His clothes went into the drawers and shelves you had freed for him, instead of breeding bachelor-style over the chair and floor. The toothbrush settled in the cup beside yours. His gym bag stopped waiting by the door making it look like he's going to go eventually. Every few days he would ask, awkwardly, if something was in the way, if he’d put it wrong, if you wanted him to move it, and every time you had to suffer the fact that he meant himself as much as his socks.
It grew uglier, more intimate, less dignified. The test turned out to be an ordinary pressure only. Indigestion tablets on the bedside table. Damp towels. Your temper. His patience. Your snoring, which he called breathing with courage and got a pillow thrown at him for it. His terrible habit of standing in the middle of a room until he remembered why he had entered it. The repaired thing between you had seams, and every day found some new way to lean its weight on them, but it kept enduring.
Then, last week, Duncan’s carefulness seemed to leave the room. For one whole evening, it had almost felt easy again. He came home from school, dropped his bag by the door, and kissed you in the hall with his coat still on and one hand cold from the outside. “Good to be back,” he said, quiet into your cheek, then went pink as if the sentence had shown too much leg.
Dinner was only reheated leftovers, though Duncan watched you stir the pot with his chin propped in his hand. “What?” you asked.
“Nothin’.”
“You’re staring.”
“Aye.”
“That’s generally something.”
“I like looking at ye,” he said, and no apology followed. That was new too. Small, but new.
Afterwards, you sat together on the couch without the telly swallowing the room. Talked, even. Real talk. Little talk. You asked about Egg, and Duncan told you things seemed good, or good enough, though Egg had never been one to let much slip unless the feeling came wrapped in a complaint. There was some school nonsense after that. A child who had tried to dry a wet sock over a radiator and nearly started a fire. You laughed more than the story deserved and Duncan looked pleased with himself for the next ten minutes.
Then the talking thinned. Duncan took to staring again. This time he did something with it. His hand came to your jaw, and he kissed you without the shy little request that usually came first. Unprompted. Unasked. Welcomed so quickly your body seemed to have been waiting ahead of you. It was lovely for a while. Lovely in the plainest sense. His mouth warm, his fingers careful, the couch creaking under the work of his knees as he turned towards you. It felt present instead of like a substitute for something, pure attraction and I want to kiss and touch my girl moment.
You got lost in it, and properly too. One hand in his hair, the other fisted in his shirt, legs opening for him because what else were legs meant to do in a situation like this one. Then his fingers found your waistband.
You caught both his hands. Then: “No.”
Duncan pulled back immediately. All the colour left his face in a clean drop. “I’m s-sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Oh God, Dunk—”
“I just. It’s fine if ye don’t want—”
“No, wait.” You kept his hands between yours, though now neither of you knew what to do with them. “That's not what I mean.”
He stared at you with that wounded obedience that made everything worse.
“It’s just that I kind of...” You swallowed. Heat rose into your face, neck, and ears. “I can’t reach certain territories anymore.”
Duncan blinked. “Territories,” he repeated.
“Don’t make me say regions.”
“’m not.”
“You are looking very region-curious.”
Duncan's brows pulled. “I’m trying to understand what’s happened to the territories.”
You shut your eyes. “I haven’t shaved my legs since the last time. And they were already a bit unshaved then.”
For a second, he just breathed. Then he breathed out so long it almost became a laugh.
Your eyes snapped open. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.”
“It can be silly to you, but—”
“It’s not silly.” He shook his head quickly, hair falling into his glasses. “It's not. I’m relieved, is all. I thought ye were cross with me.”
You stared at him.
“I mean, ye may be cross with me as well,” he added. “Wouldn’t blame ye. But I thought I’d pushed too far.” Then, he looked down at your joined palms. “Would ye like to? Otherwise?”
There was a small nod. His thumb moved over your knuckles. “Right,” he said. “Then if that’s the issue, we can sort it.”
He led you to the bathroom, and by hand, as if something either huge, or very small was about to happen. There, he sat you on a stool and turned the taps. You watched the whole scene—him squinting at labels before deciding what to pour into the tub, checking the temperature, preparing a towel, finding the razor with a little ha!—like he was about to perform some shamanic ritual. He noticed your staring and came down in front of you.
"What?" you asked.
His hands went to the soft place where your thighs and arse met the wooden rim of the stool, and rubbed there. Then, he looked up at you. "Can I shave your legs for ye, sweetheart?"
And well—grace decided to abandon you whatsoever. "I—oh—" you stammered, then just remained with your mouth open and full around words that would be useful and were, in that instant, impossible to produce.
"Are ye all right?" he asked.
"Y-yes? Yes, I—I am," you said, wondering at the same time when you’d become such a terrible liar. Your chest felt shallow where it ought to let you breathe deeply, and you realised you were fucking flustered. Just shy of giggling, and so unbecoming when he was gaping at you like that, with the sheer sincerity of his face bowing towards you.
The corners of his mouth did something uncertain. "Yer breathing funny."
"I'm… I'm fine, really," you said, putting your hands on his wrists. Your lips pressed together, futilely so. For it was beyond erotic to imagine him performing an act of service so ordinary and useless, driven purely by a whim. An indulgence. He would be doing it for no reason except that you had wished to feel smooth under his hand, and, to undignify you further, he was already kneeling for it. Your laugh came out strangled.
He narrowed his eyes, concerned. "What is it?"
You shook your head.
Then Duncan frowned even more, until something terrible bloomed on his face. Recognition. Either you had been so obvious that one needed no bottle-bottom lenses to spot it, or he just knew you this well by now. "Are ye—" He paused, visibly seeking the gentlest route through the thought. "Are ye excited?"
Your hand came to cover the treacherous mouth. The other squeezed his knuckles through the altering of his eyes. At first wonder, swiftly followed by an intimate softness that brought salt under your lids. "Yes," you whispered, nodding.
"Oh, girl." He rose on his knees and came close. His nose brushed yours, and then cheek. He pressed his face into you and let out a deep breath, all worn down and fond. "My sweet girl," he murmured. "If I knew some razor work would make ye this happy, you'd never shave your legs on your own."
That's when you cackled, fully. Duncan kissed your scrunched cheek, then stood and offered both hands. You let him pull you up. He undressed you briskly enough to have passed for confidence if his ears had not gone red-hot in spirit. By the time the fabric came away, his face had gone quiet.
He took you by the waist and elbow and led you into the tub. "Step in," he said. "I've got ye."
The water was warm if you were being generous, but such were the constrictions of pregnancy. You held onto his shoulders and let him guide you down, ungainly both with belly and need. When you were all settled and partially covered by foam, he exhaled through his nose and gave your jaw one small stroke with his thumb.
Then, Duncan straightened and turned away to tug his jumper and T-shirt over his head. After that, his trousers, worked down with one hand braced on the sink because he nearly stepped on the hem and took himself out with them.
You watched him slit-eyed. He noticed halfway through folding the trousers over the toilet lid. “What?”
“Are you getting in with me?”
Duncan snorted. “I think ye’d need something more pool-like to fit us both, lassie.” He pushed his glasses up, glanced at the bath, then at the floor, calculating. “I’m only gonna—” His foot stepped into the water, then the other, and he lowered himself to sit on the edge with a careful grunt. "—sit 'ere. Jus' so I can reach ye proper."
"O-okay," you said, feeling your cheeks blazing. He paddled under the surface searching for your ankle, grasped it gently and set your foot on his calf. "Oh—"
"Is that alright?" he asked.
"Yep," you mumbled, leaning back so the belly had more space to exist.
"Mm." Duncan nodded. He reached behind himself for his shaving cream, which in itself was another sexy part of the whole scene, and loosened the cap with a thumb. A blue gel line painted on your shin began to puff up into a white foam. He set the bottle on the edge of the tub and put his hands to you. Started to spread it gently until the whole of your leg was evenly covered, up to slightly above the knee. Your muscle flexed under his touch. "Nervous?" Duncan asked. "I won't hurt ye," he said. "I'm good at this."
"Are you now?"
"Aye," he said. "Arlan taught me. Have ye ever seen me with a razor burn?" You shook your head. “Well, then.” He turned the razor once between his fingers, absurdly confident for a man sitting half-dressed on the side of your bath. “Ready?”
Your hand went to his thigh, warm and damp. “Yes.”
Duncan gave you a last searching look, then set the razor to your shin. Slow, immaculate stroke. Foam parted under the blade and gathered at the sides of its head, leaving a clean strip of skin behind, glossy and newly bare. You watched the pass of metal with strange attention. His thumb kept holding the flesh steady, making a narrow road appear through the white. What should have been ordinary, and had been ordinary all your life when done in a rush with one leg propped badly on a sink or a bath edge, had gained new weight in his hands. He bent over with his head slightly tipped, and kept looking through the lower part of his lenses. Sometimes his tongue touched his upper lip. Sometimes his teeth caught it. All that size brought down to a single strip of your shin.
“There,” he murmured, rinsing the razor in the bathwater. “Grand.”
Another stroke. Then another. He kept them even and light, working up the leg in patient lines. Around the ankle he slowed. Around the knee he changed to short little passes and smoothed the place after with his thumb, checking the skin by touch. His hands had nothing vulgar about them, but they were not purely medicinal either. There was no sting, nor a scratch, just as he'd boasted, too.
A person could say I love you and then panic. A person could need more time and mean it. A person could kneel anyway, could take up a razor and your foolish wish and make a vow out of tending to it. The minding of nothing. The willingness toward anything. You looked at him leaning over your leg. The hair on his chest was damp and curled, cheeks pink. Between his legs he was slightly tumescent, making the cotton at his crotch stretch over the bulge. You felt some part of you go quiet with receiving.
“For the record,” Duncan said, still concentrating, “I like all versions. Hair or naught.” His thumb went over your knee again. “But this is nice.”
“Nice, hm?”
He glanced up. Your fingers slipped beneath the hem of his boxers and found the hotter skin there, high on his thigh.
“Mm.” Duncan’s mouth pressed itself into a line. “Is it nice for ye, girl?”
You nodded.
His eyes held yours a second longer, then they went back down as he finished the last pass over your calf. When the first leg was done, smooth and slick, he rinsed the razor again.
You gave him the second one yourself. Set your heel against his calf, then shifted until your foot rested closer to his groin. Pressed there, lightly. Duncan looked down at it. At you. A small smile came and went, older than his panic used to be. More fluent. “Yer trouble,” he said.
His fingers wrapped round your ankle and squeezed. He took the shaving cream and drew a new line along your shin. This time, when he spread it, his palms travelled higher. Over knee, over thigh, inward by a careful inch. Your fingers answered by slipping deeper under the cotton.
“Lassie,” he said, low. “You shouldn’t distract me, ye know.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Mm. Right.”
His hands were less steady on the second leg. Only a little. Enough for you to feel his restraint labouring through the task. He shaved you with the same care all the same, but his breath kept growing heavier through his nose. At the knee he slowed until it almost tormented you. Short stroke, thumb, rinse. He did not nick you once.
When he finished, he set the razor on the far edge of the tub beside the bottle, out of reach of both your feet. Then, he swept you whole with his eyes, and asked, "Are ye feeling better?"—all while he was visibly throbbing, the sweetheart.
You shifted in the bath. Skidded a bit closer and rested both palms on either of his thighs. Your thumbs brushed the creases where leg became underbelly and one of them, inadvertently, grazed over the base of his cock. Just the side of it, and only a little, but the little was enough for him to jerk.
"Yes," you told him, and smiled when he propped himself on the edge of the tub and lolled his head back. "You?"
"Fuck, please—" Duncan grunted, budging his hips forth. "Please, touch me."
Yes, this, you thought. This was correct and, in some sweet, safe way, unremarkable. With him, it was the pressure and the fissure that gave off the feeling of wrongness. So maybe, for once, you could exist in the oblique a while and give him time to voice what his body had been screaming for months upon months. Because no one, ever, had got this hard this quickly around you, not to mention purely from performing a mundane action of grooming.
"Like this?" you asked, parting the fly of his boxers and pulling him out. You ran a finger on the broad, top side of his length all the way to the seeping slit. It was odd to think that this was your new default. Duncan wasn't the type to aim at ruining you for other men, though he did precisely that, stronger for being innocently unaware of his own virility. His cock deserved no other word than magnificent and met every promise his body made. Size, yes, staggering in girth and proportion, but also delicacy where it mattered. Softness of skin over the hard-working flesh beneath. Full of blood, full of life, coursing through veins that roped it, some slight, some fuller and blue. The root sat wide in a thatch of dark hair you loved running your nails through until his breath came in torn out shards. Toward the head the foreskin lay soft and pale, flushing darker where your fingers drew it back; the tip itself looked tender enough to scold you for touching badly, silken under finger and tongue, quick to shine, quick to suffer.
Another maddening thing was that he had always been clean. In an ordinary way of soap, laundry and warm body, even after a long day. Rarely, the need to get to you exceeded his quickness to wash the training off, and he came to you with sweat dried in the hair at his temples and under his shirt. Even then the afternoon was not enough for the salt of him to turn. There was a span in which Duncan smelled private and living, and the first time you had asked him to leave it on himself, to come without showering, he had looked at you first with bewilderment, and then as if he saw a creature of incarnate kinship.
There was a twitch in cotton. You glanced down to where the rest of him was held by the boxers. His balls hung blurred in the fabric, heavy and kept from you for the time being by the same cloth your fingers had already invaded. Exposed him more, somehow, that contraption, and made him into a man partly presented and partly caught. You ran your thumb under the crown and watched his stomach tighten.
“Lass,” he said, voice gone careful in the wrong direction.
You looked up from him. “What?”
His hand had clamped round the tub's edge. The other hovered near your shoulder and never landed. You lowered your gaze again.
There was a note you made then, solemn as any law proclaimed in a bathroom could be: if the two of you came out the other side with something steady, if the days stopped behaving like bridges with missing boards, you would make up for the months in which your stomach rebelled at anything surpassing the tip of your tongue. Get him into your mouth more, for he was fuckable, yes, monstrously and sweetly, but he was also made for being sucked. For the lip of your mouth under the head of him, for spit and patience and feeling that caution give out to hips that want and thighs that shake.
You drew a circle over the place beneath the head with your index finger. Small, slow, almost scholarly, though there was no learning left to be done there. The frenulum gave under the lightest pressure, and Duncan’s thigh jumped against your palm. One clear bead had gathered at the slit; when you swiped it away, another followed immediately, already formed, glossy and round. Poor thing. As if dryness offended him. As if he could not bear to be anything except wet and soppy in your hand.
To make him even easier you made your mouth water. Not that the task was difficult—the eyes saw a gorgeous thing and gossiped to the tongue in no time at all—so gathered the spit, eager and charmed. You bent your head enough to let it fall. It landed on your knuckles first, warm from you, then slid between them and onto him. You spread it with two fingers, over the crown, under it, down the thick ridge of him until he shone.
“Oh, fuck, yes,” Duncan blurted.
Your hand closed round him. He got worse immediately. Hips gave a rough little shove, stomach drew tight, hand blanched on the bath edge. His cock filled your grip with a heat that felt almost separate from the rest of him, some blunt animal portion of the heart dragged through the soma and placed where you could answer it. You gave one slow stroke, only one, and felt him pulse all the way through your fist.
“Lass,” he whined.
You looked up. Saw his open mouth and glasses slipping down his nose. His knees kept drawing further apart until the seam at the crotch creaked. “What?” you asked.
Duncan swallowed. His eyes went to your palm, then back to your face. “Will ye—” He stopped, breathed hard through his nose, and tried again. “Will ye take me in hand, sweetheart? Proper.”
Your fingers tightened. "Like that?" you asked softly.
That hurt him beautifully. His head tipped back a little, throat working. “Please,” he said. “Please, girl.”
"Baby," you cooed. "Of course. How is this?" You gave him a thorough stroke. Your fist slid easily through the mess of spit and him. Already he was panting, stomach drawn into tight ridges and the softer flesh over them trembling with every pass.
“Yes,” he muttered. “Yes, yes—” Choked and strained, as though the word had to be dragged out of the same place pleasure was lodged.
You paid special attention to the head, where he was tenderest. Shielded him whole there, held him, squeezed until he gave up more of his soot, then returned it to the length where the veins girdling it pulsed hotly. “Tell me, Dunk,” you whispered.
He bit his lip and chewed on it for a second. One hand came to you and spanned your neck. Only resting. Thumb below your jaw, fingers warm over the side of your throat, his palm was absurdly large and careful. Through a loosened jaw, he said, "Good." A breath. "It's bloody fucking amazin'." Another wheeze of air through his nose, then, slurry: "Ye can do whatever ye want with me, woman." He gave you a stare near lidless and irisless, pupils dilated as if you were the drug and this was sensation entering bloodstream.
An impish thing seized your throat. “Can I do this?” you asked, and cupped the whole of his sack through the wet cotton.
Duncan folded in the spine. “Oh fu-huuck, girl—” His hips rolled forward until he almost slipped off the edge and into the bath. His feet kicked water against your hip; the grip on your neck tightened by instinct, then steadied there, still aware despite the rest of him going to pieces. “Yeah. Like that. Oh fuck, please—please keep touchin’ me, mo ghrá, I’m—oh—oh—”
So you did. Massaged him through the fabric while your other hand kept him in a slow steady rhythm. Your thumb teased the crevices and the hole of his crown whenever you reached the top. Added spit when he needed it, and he did need it, poor thing, kept using it up on you as fast as you gave it. You had all sorts of unuseful thoughts. How perverse it was that his cum had proved itself so potently dangerous it got you knocked up after the first time. What a waste it would be to have it vanish into bathwater. How you might at least get it somewhere it would look pretty. Somewhere he'd appreciate and blush over it sweetly for you.
Duncan shook under your hands. Sweat gathered on his stomach and began to run down his thighs, searching for ways through the fine hair there. His chest lifted in broken pulls. The hand on your throat slipped higher, thumb brushing the hinge of your jaw, and all the while he looked at you as if looking had become another kind of fucking.
He began to grow harder, everywhere too. You felt his balls riding up and straining in their supple flesh, cock kicking against your palm and all the tendons roping under skin. “I’m gonna—” he said, though naught needed to be announced. By then you knew him backwards and sideways, and when he was looking like that, breathing like that and rasping as if this was honest labour instead of pleasure, you would soon be granted that lovely split on the face, the rounding of mouth, the pulling of brows, and him whispering, yes, yes, yes, all slut-like and grateful.
The nail in the coffin was your Good boy. Offered last minute and so wickedly that Duncan groaned out a loud fuck, bucked up into the cradle of your fingers, and you only had a second to point him where you wanted him. You shifted closer in the water and pressed your chest out for him. Duncan saw. His eyes dropped, mouth still open from the shock of his own rapture, and then the first spill of him came over your tits in a hot white stripe.
“Oh God,” he choked. “What did ye—”
Another wave took him. Wrenched him by the spine, by the stomach, by the wet ruined thing in your hand. His seed kept spilling through wheezes and whines, opaque and lovely, painting you in broken lines while Duncan stared as if witnessing some private miracle he had caused by accident. “What did ye do, oh sweetheart. Oh, look at you.”
His hands came to your breasts. Transfixed, he touched the mess of himself there, thumbs dragging through it first, then whole palms, smearing him over the heavy swell of tits. You released his cock and caught his wrists. Guided him higher, over your collarbones, then your throat, then your face, until his thumbs rested near your mouth. You licked over both. Duncan's throat clicked.
“Did you like it?” you asked, looking up at him with the most innocent doll-like eyes you could manage.
Duncan nodded. Then he smiled, defeated. Then grinned fully, crooked and helpless and bright enough to make your lids wet. “You wicked thing,” he said. “Wee fucking menace, I—yes. Oh, fuck.”
You had never heard him swear so much. Perhaps ever. It made you vain in the warmest possible way. You cupped his face with one hand, thumb slipping a little on the damp of his cheek. “I like when you are like this,” you whispered.
“Fucked stupid?”
“Pleased,” you said. “Because of me.”
His gaze softened all over again, though his breathing stayed wrecked. “Ye like pleasin’ me, lassie?”
You nodded.
“Well,” Duncan said, and turned his face enough to kiss the heel of your palm. “All ye do is please me, sweetheart. Nothin’ else.”
Click. A swipe of hand over your toes. "There ye are," Duncan says, beyond pleased with himself. "Not too shabby, aye?" Then he presents you your own foot as if it has gone through a dazzling makeover.
"It's great," you say, smiling. "Thank you."
"Mm." He kisses your sole once, then lowers it onto his lap. Gives you a glance. "Ye all right, girl?"
"Yes, just, um—" Your hand swipes over your throat. "Just heartburn. It comes and goes."
Duncan grins. "Ye know that means the baby's growin' hair?"
"Shut up," you snort. "We've got the same app and mine said no poppycock like that."
Duncan frowns, though the tips of his ears go incriminatingly warm. “It ain’t poppycock.”
“No?”
“No," he says. "It’s a thing people say.”
“A thing people say.”
“Aye.”
“People also say a lot of stupid things.”
He narrows his eyes at you, still holding your foot. “I’m telling ye, there’s something to it.”
You look at him and realise, with unreasonable fondness, that the -cock part of the poppycock itself has wrong-footed him a little. The great father of your child, undone by folklore and a nursery-level obscenity. It suits him tremendously.
“Well,” you say, settling deeper into the mattress, “with the amount of heartburn I’m getting, he’ll come out with hair to braid.”
Duncan’s face opens in spite of himself. “Maybe he will.”
“He’ll need conditioner by week two.”
“Could have curls.”
“Could have your hair,” you say.
His smile goes quieter. He looks down at the foot in his hand and rubs his thumb under your toes. “Poor wee thing.”
“Excuse me, your hair is beautiful.”
“Aye, and mad.”
“Beautiful and mad.”
“Grand. That’ll do him well in life.”
You laugh, then the heartburn climbs again and turns the laugh into a small, irritated breath. Duncan notices instantly. His thumb stops.
“Ye good?”
“Mm.” You gather yourself with some effort and shift your feet to the floor. “I’ll be right back.”
His hand comes up near your knee, ready without touching. “Do ye need—”
“No, it's okay.” You stand, test your balance, then point down at him. “I’m giving you a five-star review.”
Duncan’s mouth twitches. “For the toes?”
“For the full service.”
He smiles fully and suspects he's looking far too pleased with that. Watches you leave and when he loses sight of your calves in the hallway, Dunk spreads himself on the floor and breathes deeply. His shirt has ridden up a bit and the wood is cool against the strip of skin above his waistband.
Duncan thinks he may have redeemed himself a little. The thought embarrasses him for its size and for how quickly it spreads through him with warmth and hunger for belief. He performs small works, foolish works, maybe, to anyone looking from the outside. To him they feel near holy, and that is part of the trouble. He keeps making altars out of tasks because tasks do not turn round and ask him what he means.
He knows what he means. That has never been a matter of doubt. Saying it, though, feels adjacent to asking for something, and Duncan hates the prospect of causing discomfort with all his might. I love ye, and then the whole injured beast of him rises behind the sentence with its old begging: keep me, choose me, make me a place and do not change your mind. There is the wound itself, old and blunt, and then the smaller cuts round it made by other hands, by women who had wanted him until he became too much work, by rooms where he learned to stand near the door, by the first proposal with the ring shaking in his pocket and your kind, frightened no laid carefully between you.
Logic has been trying its best with him. Logic points to your drawers with his socks in them. To the toothbrush in the cup. To the way you let him kneel and fuss and get underfoot, the way you reach for him in sleep, the way you say his name when pain or pleasure has taken the manners out of you. Logic tells him naught would go wrong if he said it now, softly, with no bed ruined by grief and no apology chasing after. A different thing in him pulls back until the words go tight in the throat. Some guard at the gate, half-starved and loyal to bad orders.
He thinks of the ring in his flat more often than is sensible. Whether he could go back under some pretence and bring it here. Whether he would have it in him to ask again, properly this time, with fewer wild eyes and less duty making a mess of devotion. Whether you would take him now. Everything seems to be saying yes, but he has been turned down once, and once is plenty for Duncan. Once is enough to put a mark on the place.
Still, he is happy. God help him, he is. He has got himself a lovely girl, sweet and sharp and heavy with his son, and he finds you so sexy sometimes that it makes him daft with gratitude. If you decided to keep him under your slipper, he thinks he would bear it grand. Fetch, carry, kneel, take correction. Yet that is another thing about you. You do not seem to want him flattened. You leave room for the rest of him. His wants, his foolishness, his ugly jumpers, his hunger, the bit of him that chooses the wrong onesie because the pattern made him smile.
He remembers himself smiling terribly upon finding the very shite-coloured one tucked at the bottom of the drawer. Recognised it by the chest alone. You had hidden it away with the good things. Kept it. That should tell him something and it does tell him something.
Duncan covers his eyes with the heel of his hand and breathes again. The floor holds him flat and honest. He thinks that, maybe, he could be braver sometime soon, when a loud clatter from the bathroom makes him near bite his tongue.
He surges up so fast his little toe falls victim to the bedframe. He swears some, shakes his foot in the air and rushes down the corridor with sweat already pearling in the well of his back. The closer he gets to you the better he can hear the sounds and once Duncan is three steps away from the bathroom it is clear that you are crying. He calls out your name.
"What happened?"
The door gets shoved closed when he's about to barge through, and your voice comes pained from the other side. "Please, don't come in!"
Duncan hesitates. He rests both hands on the wood and puts his ear to it. "What's happening?" he asks, softer.
There is no answer. Blood starts pumping loud in his temples. He reaches one palm to the doorknob and stops there. "Lass," he says. "Lass, did ye fall over? Are ye hurt?"
"N-no," you weep, unconvincing. He can hear water running in the sink and your hiccuped breathing.
A barbed swallow forces its way down Dunk's throat. "Is… is there blood?" he asks, eyes squeezing shut. Nothing again. Likely, you didn't hear him, but likely is not doing it for Duncan now. He wraps his fingers tight round the knob and tells you, "Sweetheart, I’m coming in unless ye tell me you’re safe." Whether you're about to tell him or not, he doesn't have time to check, for he cracks the door open with breath held in his lungs.
"Don't look," you say when he steps in, and it works like a spell because his eyes go straight to you.
You are standing with your back to him, a towel held to your chest. In the mirror Duncan sees your face first. Tear-streaked, mouth pulled tight, eyes swollen with the effort of staying quiet. He comes to you because he must. His body has no other instruction. On the way he checks the floor, the sink, the edge of the bath, the hard corners of everything that could have taken a piece of you. There is naught. No blood. No broken glass. No wet print of a fall.
He bands one arm round your shoulders from behind and draws you back into him. His mouth lowers to the side of your head. “Are ye hurt?” he asks. “What happened, lassie? Talk to me.”
You only weep harder. His gaze drops. The towel is pressed to your breasts, clutched there in a fist gone pale round the knuckles. A different fear enters him, smaller and stranger.
“Is something wrong here?” he asks, touching the back of your hand.
Your eyes shut. After a few seconds, you lower the towel. There are two damp stains on the front of your shirt.
The relief unspools through Duncan so fast he nearly goes weak with it. He has to breathe out through his nose and make sure no laugh comes with it, because the laugh would only be terror leaving him in the wrong shape.
“Lassie,” he says. “Oh, sweetheart. My sweet girl, that’s normal.” He turns you in his arms despite the small sound of protest you make, and gathers you close. “It’s normal. C’mere.”
“It’ll get on your shirt,” you say, brokenly.
“I want ye on my shirt,” Duncan murmurs. “C’mere.”
That does it, or at least enough of it. Your body comes into him slowly, stiff first, then less so, and he feels the warm damp bloom through cotton where your breasts press to his chest. His hand cups the back of your head. The other stays wide across your shoulders. He knows this is normal. Knows it within one blink, the way he knows the whole of the app now. Third trimester and another function arriving early, another piece of yourself declaring new management without asking permission. No wonder it has frightened you. No wonder it has made you cry.
Duncan ponders if there is a way to say I love you that can neither spook you nor tear open the guarded thing in himself. Some new road to the same place, through a quieter gate. His mouth finds your ear. “Will ye let me take care of you?”
Your hands close into fists in the back of his shirt.
He shifts a little and you hiss through your teeth. Duncan stills. Smooths his palm down your hair until you lift your face to him. He can't really bear the sight of your welling eyes, but he keeps himself upright in the important places.
“Are ye tender?” he asks.
You nod.
“I’ll be very gentle.”
“It’s just that—” you hiccup. “It’s just another thing and I—”
“I know,” he says. “I know. Yer so strong, my sweetheart. Nothing bad’s happenin’.”
Your back gives by one notch under his hand.
“Let’s clean ye up, hm? Come, wee thing.”
He takes your hands and brings you to the sink. Pulls the stool out from under it, then gets a clean washcloth from the cupboard. He washes his hands properly, hot water and soap to the wrists, drying them on a towel he knows is clean because he folded it there himself that morning. Then he wets the cloth and wrings it out until it is soft and warm in his palm.
You watch him with a look that makes him feel twelve feet tall and useless. He is nervous too, in several directions. Smaller humans have depended on him plainly enough. Children with scraped knees. Egg with his clenched jaw and silences. This is different. You are grown, clever, and proud, and he has big hands made rough by work. He feels in his element and terrified of failing you in the same breath.
He sits on the stool. It is low enough to make foolish angles of him, knees high and spread, elbows awkward, yet even there your chest is near level with his face. He looks up at you first.
“Tell me if anything hurts, aye?”
You nod again.
With careful fingers, he rolls your shirt higher. Underneath, your breasts sit heavy and glossed around the nipples, the skin damp where milk has gathered and strayed. Duncan keeps his face steady. Something low in him, older than thought, purrs out a wicked good at the sight of you like this: mother of his child, body working early, needing him enough to help. He lifts his eyes back to yours.
“Still all right?”
“Yes.”
He brings the cloth to the underside of one breast and only presses it where a drop has wandered down. Waits. You breathe out. Another nod.
So he continues. Small touches. Cloth held, lifted, folded to a clean corner, held again. He does not rub unless he has to. Uses his free hand to support the weight of you from below, fingers spread wide. His glasses steam over a little. When he moves higher, the cloth brushes the nipple and you flinch hard.
Duncan stops immediately. “Hurts?”
“Shit,” you whisper. “Yeah, it actually hurts.”
“All right.” He lowers the cloth. “Do ye want to ring the doctor?”
You shake your head.
“Are ye sure?”
“It’s just sore. I looked it up. It can be sore.”
He studies your face, then the skin, then your face again. “No fever? No bad pain inside?”
“No.”
“No… red patch?”
You glance down with a miserable little sniff. “Dunk.”
“I have to ask.”
“I know you do," you say. "No red patch.”
“All right,” he says, though the worry stays working in his jaw. “All right. We’ll go slower.”
His hand starts shaking a little in the wrist. He could find something softer or pack you into the tub again and then wrap you in a blanket and tell you it is no matter if you leak through it. Yet something tells him the misery of it does not lie in the leaking itself but in your body giving up its woman post while the mother post takes over.
He drops the cloth in the sink and hangs his head low for a second. There is shame, loud and striking and bitter as a bitten tablet, in the part of him that has noticed the shine on you and answered it. You are crying and sore, frightened too, by a thing your body has done, and still some ancient, pre-verbal creature in him has lifted its head. Something older than sex, maybe. Or older than any sex he has known what to do with. His tongue gets all confused by aching to go places that are not for him. Want shapes in him from lacking this kind of warmth, and from the tug at the sight of you standing there with milk on your skin, carrying his son and needing him to be good enough with his hands, good enough with his mouth, good enough in any way a man can be useful.
He wipes his palms on his thighs, then reaches for your hips.
“Come here a bit,” he says. You look at him with wet eyes. “Only closer," Duncan says. "That’s all.”
You let him draw you in between his knees. Your belly gets there first, high and full. Duncan lays one hand on the side of it since that place is known and safe, and there everyone understands what his tenderness means. Aodhán shifts under his palm, faintly, or perhaps Duncan only hopes he does.
Then his gaze moves higher. To your tits spilling heavy over the bump, with their nipples damp and sore and their skin slick in small tracks where the milk has gone. It strikes him near like a bite in the neck, reverential and sharp like canines both, and it makes him want to bow his head again simply to pay respects to the body he's been adoring more and more with passing months. At this point he's the one needing, though the need does not feel wicked when it reaches you. It feels like a thing looking for the correct work. Give it a task and it may yet become mercy.
You make a small sound, and his eyes snap back to yours. “Sorry,” he says. “I’m here. I’m with ye.”
Your fingers twitch at your sides. Duncan brings his hand slowly up from your belly to your ribs, then stops below the curve of one breast. He does not touch the tender part yet. Only waits there, palm open, asking the skin before he asks you. “Will ye let me try something?”
Your mouth tightens. “What?”
“The towel hurts,” he says. His voice comes out rougher than he means it to. He clears it badly. “Mouth might be softer.”
To that, there's a stare. A tremor sprints his back and has nowhere decent to go. He keeps his face lifted, keeps his hands still. Lets you see the whole awful truth of him as far as he can bear: frightened, aroused, careful, wanting to make this easier for you and wanting you both.
“If ye don’t like it, I stop,” he says. “If it hurts, I stop. If ye say my name wrong, I stop. All right?”
Your throat works. Duncan’s thumb moves once over your rib, barely there. “Do ye trust me?”
"I do," you breathe. "I do, just—"
"C'mere then," Duncan says. "C'mere, sweetheart."
He pulls you down to sit sideways on his thigh. You come slowly, wrap one of your arms round his neck and balance the other on his knee. Duncan grunts under your weight, because it feels grand already to have your arse spilled over his leg and your side pressed to his chest. He's ashamed, a little, of the hard-on he's got going on in his shorts, and knows damn well you can feel him twitching. "I'm sorry," he rasps. "I'm sorry, lassie, I promise ye this ain't nothin' wicked, I jus'—"
"I know, sweetheart," you tell him. Coo it into his temple, and Duncan cringes at the fact that within one minute the roles get reversed and it's him getting comforted away from thinking he's a deviant.
"It's jus'—" He swallows. Runs a finger on your sternum. "There ain't nothin' this body can do that will make me want ye less, ye understand me?" Then, his palm lies flat over your heart. "Here's what I—what I care about. Do ye know what I'm sayin'?"
Your hand wraps in the roots of his hair. "I do," you whisper, and rest your cheek on his forehead. "I do."
It is as close as he can make himself standing next to a verbal proclamation. The sweet thing of it is that it serves you both. You've already relaxed another notch. What Duncan wants to say, desperately, is that he recognises the fear in you and you should fear not. He knows what comes after, he knows you're working your arse off to save your womb from suffering the consequences of his oversized genes, and he wants to tell you it does not matter in the slightest. He's got a cock big enough and a heart hungry for you enough to love you through all the shapes and stages you will fit yourself into. Himself, Duncan returns to something that was never present in his life, but ought to be. His body receives it as memory, though his life has given him none.
He wedges his hand under your breast and cups it whole. Handles its ballast, then brings his mouth, gossamer-light, to where your skin stretches from collarbone and swells into a curve. His tongue comes out above the nipple first. One slow swipe through the shine gathered there. The taste is faint and warm, sweeter than he expects, with something soft and bodily under it, almost creamy yet too slight to call rich. It finds him as a shock of recognition without recollection. Duncan stops with his mouth still close, breath passing over the wet place he has made, though all he wants is to fill himself and take more, and more, and more.
“How’s that?” he asks.
Your hand tightens in his hair. You shift on his thigh, and his palm settles along the inner side of the leg nearest him, holding you steady.
“Good,” you say. “Doesn’t hurt.”
“That’s grand,” he murmurs.
Then, he returns to it with his mouth opened wider. Drags his tongue over the gloss, flat and careful, gathering what needs gathering. His eyes close. The nipple is tender and warm against him, softened by the wet, so welcoming that some brutish part of him wants to press his whole face into your tits and stay there until breath becomes somebody else’s concern. The memory of your flinch keeps him measured.
He hums against you. Does not notice his hands growing firmer until one has filled itself with your arse and the other is gripping high on your thigh. His mouth becomes less tentative too. Tongue circling, lips closing softly round the nipple, drawing just enough to make more of that thin sweetness come out for him. Soon he is making out with your breast in earnest, wet and hungry, while the first little sounds begin leaving you above him.
"Dunk—" you breathe. "Oh, fuck—"
At that, he releases you, and noses upward, over the warm rise of your chest, along the hinge of your jaw, until he finds you. He kisses you once. The taste on his tongue passes back into you and it excites him horrendously that there is a way to give you back a piece of yourself like that.
“Are ye good, my girl?” he murmurs.
You nod and catch him again, softer this time. “I am. Thank you,” you whisper.
His brows pull sharply. It slices him like praise would, seizes low in his stomach and draws the muscles there into a hard cramp. His cock twitches against your hip.
“Christ, lassie.” He presses his forehead to yours. “Yer gorgeous. Ye know that? I always want ye. Every bit.” The fingers high on your thigh flex. He feels the heat held between your legs and keeps himself where he is, though the hand wants to travel. “Can I touch ye?” he asks. "Do ye trust me still?”
He is sure he has leaked through the cotton by now. The wet has cooled against him, then warmed again, and he cannot decide whether he hopes you have noticed.
You swallow. Your face passes beside his, lips grazing his cheek on their way to his ear. Duncan goes rigid beneath you. “Touch me then,” you whisper. “And put your mouth back on me.”
It’s a fragile thing he’s handling, he knows this much. Duncan has never thought himself an adept lover, though by now he likes to believe he is somewhat versed in the language your body speaks to him. It has told him plenty about how you like him sometimes pliable and sometimes bolder. He tries to merge the two, because having your tits this close and served to him like the finest meal makes being in charge out of the question. Still, he knows when you need guiding. Knows encouragement works on you much the same way it works on him, reaching places touch alone cannot quite get to.
By some earnestness in him that has survived every reason to lose it, Duncan believes you whenever you tell him things that would sound unthinkable from any other tongue. That he is pretty. That he is good. That he does things well and pleases you. The words barge into him whole, free of malice, and he keeps them with a devotion near embarrassing. So he gives them back now, hoping the exchange stays even. Hoping you believe him too when he tells you how gorgeous you are, how badly he wants you, how every change in your body only gives him something new to learn and adore. God help him, he means it. He knows how to hold you when shame makes you stiff, how to wait until you soften, where to touch when soreness has made the usual routes impossible. Knows how to please you because you have taught him, and because every lesson has ended with pleasure answering in his own body too.
“Yer maddening gorgeous, my girl,” he slurs, coming back down to your chest. His breath rasps over the damp skin. He's licked most of the milk off and taken it and eaten it, and now the fervid part of him needs to know whether you are milking for him elsewhere too. His hand moves higher and presses flat between your legs, over the gusset of knickers. Warm. Damp. He loves it terribly, that answering thirst gathering under his palm while his lips close round your nipple again.
“I’ve put a baby in ye,” he mutters against where you're tender. “I’ll take care of ye through it and after.” His fingers drag the material aside. The first touch of your pussy makes his jaw lock. “If ye let me, I’ll put another in ye,” he says, half-mad with it. “I won’t go anywhere, sweetheart. Where the fuck would I go?”
Your hips buck into his hand. The fingers in his hair tighten, release, then close again while your breath breaks over the crown of his head. “Dunk, fuck—please—”
He rushes naught. This time he means to make the whole of it yours, and if he comes in his pants like an idiot, he will survive the indignity. His forefinger traces the shape of your cunt first, follows the swollen seam through its slickness, learning what he already knows and finding it changed by whatever he's managed to make of this moment.
He's humming with how good it feels to have his mouth full though an urge to bite down on something pulls his spine tight. Put his teeth into the sweetness of you and hold. He knows better. His tongue comes out instead, flat and broad, and drags from your nipple over the slope of your breast, up the centre of your chest, along your throat. At the side of your neck the restraint wears itself out and Duncan bites.
You moan again, and your groin presses harder into his hand. Fuck yes, he thinks. "Take me," Duncan says and feeds you his finger down to the second knuckle. Your cunt takes it with a greedy clutch. Duncan feels each small yielding round the joint where the swollen tissue drags close around him. It reaches straight into his gut, that feeling. He curls his hand and watches your face alter.
“There ye are,” he breathes.
Your eyes close. “More.”
“Aye?”
“Aye, more, Dunk.”
He brings the second finger alongside the first and enters you patiently. The stretch pulls a broken noise from your throat. Duncan stills inside you, fingers buried deep enough to feel the pulse working there unsteadily.
“Tell me," he says.
“It’s good.” Your grip twists in his hair. “Keep going.”
He listens. Crooks both fingers toward the front of you and draws them back through the wet grasp of your body, learning the pressure from every change in your breath. Question and answer, conducted under the skin. When he finds the place that makes your knees soften, he returns to it, presses with the pads and holds until your hips begin seeking him like you've forgotten the predicament entirely.
“Like that?” he asks.
“Yes. There.”
“Here?”
“Duncan.”
The sound of his name harms him further. His head moves along your chest, kissing wherever he can reach. Soon, your tits are all glossy again, and Duncan realises he's drooling. There's something in milk-heavy breasts that turns him depraved, and it's him who needs to nurse his sore, blunt tongue on you. You're both wounded, but he's the one needing this to breathe. In this symbiosis, you let go too, and become warmer in his hands and heavier across his thigh. Trust has weight, apparently. It spills over his leg and puts its arms round his neck.
He adds the smallest turn of his wrist. Your cunt closes hard enough to make the bones in his hand feel caught. “Christ,” he mutters. “Ye feel—”
Speech fails him again. Soft would be a lie. Tight says too little. Hot belongs to kettles and sun. This is a living hold, drawing at him with a strength hidden inside yielding flesh.
His hips begin their own labour against the side of your thigh. The wet front of his shorts rubs there in short, helpless twitches. He barely registers starting. His body has never shown much obedience around you unless you give it a direct order, and now you give him naught except his name in scraps.
“Dunk—ah—Dunk.”
“Aye. I’m here.”
He works his fingers deeper when your pelvis tips. Slower when your mouth tightens. Firmer when you pull him closer. Every small easing he draws from you returns through his own nerves sharpened, almost painful. Service has always been the safest shape of his hunger: carry this, fix that, hold still. Let him put his hands where the hurt lives and he will tear himself open gladly over being allowed.
“You like this,” you breathe near his ear.
Duncan’s fingers falter once. “Aye.”
“Taking care of me.”
His forehead presses to your shoulder. “It does terrible things to me.”
Your moan breaks loose when he rubs that place again. “You’re good at it too.”
“Lassie—”
The word comes out with enough force to embarrass him, though embarrassment has little country left in him now. His cock strains and leaks against your skin through cotton. Everything in him has been given employment.
A fool arrives at the holy well by taking the wrong road. Mud on his boots. Hands too large for the cup. Thirst making a spectacle of him. That is Duncan here. You open because he asks, tell him where, give him the weight of your want without making him earn it through suffering first. He receives the gift with the bewilderment of someone who has spent his life expecting every good thing to be withdrawn upon closer inspection.
His thumb finds your clit. He touches lightly, watches your whole belly tighten, then circles with growing certainty when your nails graze his scalp.
“Oh, yes,” you whisper.
“Aye?”
“Yes. Just—keep—”
“Aye, I’ve got ye.”
He says it into the side of your neck and believes it for the length of the sentence. Your body begins to lose its separate pieces under him. Thigh, belly, breast, throat: all drawn into the one effort, all sending the same message. Duncan follows the signs faithfully. He knows when your hips need holding and when they need freedom. Knows the sound that means softer, the one that means deeper, the sudden silence that means he has found something worth staying with.
Your hand pulls his face up. He comes willingly, lips parted, breath spoiled.
“Kiss me,” you say.
He near breaks his neck for it. You take his lower lip between yours, and the intimacy of it cuts stranger and deeper than the sex. Your tongue touches his. Your cunt tightens. Duncan groans straight into you.
“There,” you whisper against him. “My good boy.”
His stomach caves. His fingers drive upward, wanting more of whatever this is, and your cry catches between your teeth and his.
“Say it again,” he begs.
You look at him through wet, heavy eyes. “Good boy.”
Duncan near comes in his shorts. Mind supplies him with unbidden images. Him, returning home to you, no matter where you've both made it. Late at night with everything quiet and you all warm for him and your tits full of milk so he can put his mouth to them and get his chin all white and sweet from you. His cheek pillowed against you and hands damp with what he squeezes out of you. And there, him making love to you, kissing your soft post-labour belly, kissing between your legs, kissing your neck, your temple, your mouth until it's plump. Telling you he loves you without fear, and calling you his wife with pride in his chest.
“Girl,” he whines. Turns his hand inward with two fingers crooked inside you and making a slow wheel there while his thumb keeps circling. You draw yourself tight round his knuckles then hold, and Duncan feels every change as if your body is closing its fist round him. He keeps the pressure steady, wrist working in patient little turns, eyes fixed on your face through his smeared glasses. Your breathing begins to break. “C’mon, sweetheart,” he rasps. “Let me feel ye. I'm, ah—"
There's a quiver in your thighs. First some small, treacherous shivers against his hips, then hard enough that Duncan has to brace you firmer. Your cunt begins to pulse, drawing him deeper while the rest of you arches away from it. He works through the first break until your head falls back and the sound in your throat loses all shape.
The hand holding his knee leaves it and comes down between his legs. It closes over the unbearable bulge there. Your mouth finds his ear. “Good boy,” you gasp, still coming. “Fuck, my good boy—oh, Dunk—”
So, in the end, Duncan does come in his shorts. Bursts into your fingers with his tongue plastered to your breast and palm fisting your buttock. It's unpretty and loud with whimpers he's trying to muffle against you. He feels his balls emptying and sees the confirmation of it blooming wet and glossy under cotton.
"Shite," he gasps. "Sweetheart, I—" A swallow. "I didn't mean to. Oh, I didn't mean to, I—"
"I know," you say. Breathe heavily. Your head lolls on his and your body sags until you're cradled between his spread thighs. "I meant to, though."
"I made a bigger mess of you." A beat.
"You made me feel better," you say. "Does that count for something?"
"Aye, it counts for everythin'," he says. Then, he laughs. "Fucking Christ, I'm like a virgin every time with ye, ain't I?"
A deep sigh comes from you. "A virgin would run from me." You cup his chin and tilt it to look him in the eye. "You're just… yourself."
Duncan feels terribly perceived, though out of the two, it is you who is more exposed and damper. You look at him as if he's good enough the way he is, even if it means sometimes a man grown, and sometimes a green boy who finishes into a P.E. teacher's attire.
"I—" he stammers. Swallows. Traces a thumb over your neck. "Can I—can I sort ye out? Properly."
"Does it involve licking?"
"Wicked girl." He blushes furiously. "If ye want."
You smile at him with all of your teeth.
So he sorts you out, and himself in the process. Steps with you into the shower. He lets you lean your back to his chest, near sag against him, while his hands wander. He cleans. He licks too. Once, he bites the ball of your shoulder and you give him a little uh in response. After, he pats you dry, gently, and leaves you for a moment, wrapped in the towels and sat on the edge of the tub, while he walks through the flat, naked, to get clean clothes. Since now he's in charge and has a say in it, he brings you his T-shirt. A bra that feels softest in his palm and some nursing pads as well. You let him dress you and it feels as intimate as touching you intimately does. Everything is private. Everything is his. Everything is privilege.
In the bedroom he steps in behind you and fits himself along your back. His hands travel down your sides, spread beneath the belly, low, then meet there, palm over palm, taking its weight. “Tell me if—” he starts, and lifts.
You groan. Your knees slack and your head drops back onto his chest. “Oh God. How did you know?”
“Saw it online,” Duncan says into your neck, bashful about the usefulness of his own hands. “A midwife showed it. Said it can take some pressure off.”
“Christ, can you stay like that till I deliver?”
“Ye know I can,” he mutters.
He holds you there, your son raised a merciful inch away from the bones he has been bearing down upon, and begins to rock. A small movement from foot to foot, broad body taking yours with it. You give yourself over until your spine has hardly any employment left. His chin settles near your shoulder. First comes a hum, low enough that you feel it through his chest before you properly hear it. It's plainly Too-Ra Loo-Ra Loo-Ra.
Duncan sings quietly, rough in places, carrying you from side to side. By the second verse your eyes have closed. He sings the third anyway and keeps you lifted until sleep has made you heavy against him.












