Peridot Alone
Here’s a little fic I wrote for @drawbauchery because she likes angst. It's about the after effects of Lapis leaving in the commercials from SDCC. Enjoy!
Peridot walked into the barn and looked around uneasily. It felt bigger, too big. She moved through it, her feet felt heavy and her body hollow. She grabbed her arm, trying to comfort herself as she looked around at the morps that took up the space.
She hadn't touched them since it had happened. Some were left half finished, others remained as a painful reminder. She looked away from them and moved to the hammock. She ran her hand over the material.
She could remember when she had laid here one night while waiting for the other. She could remember cuddling, gentle humming, and happiness. She gripped the fabric in her hand and tried to ignore the lump in her throat. She couldn't stand this.
She could feel the walls closing in. She had to get out. She ran outside as fast as she could and then leaned against the side of the building, sinking down to a sitting position and curling up with her knees to her chest.
Pumpkin came over to her and barked jovially, jumping onto her lap and nuzzling her stomach. Peridot slowly petted him. She envied him. He didn't even seem to notice her absence. She wished she could be like him and just forget her. She wished...
She took Pumpkin off her lap and stood, clenching her hands. She had to get out of this slump. She had to forget about her and move on. She quickly used a trash can lid to fly up to the truck sticking out of the barn and put in one of her Camp Pining Hearts tapes. She sat on the couch. It felt empty now that there was nobody to take up half of it. She grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself.
She curled up, just trying to focus on her video. Maybe it would help her feel better. She hoped it would.
The episode was one of her favorites. It was during the height of the color war. The characters were engaged in a great battle but there was also a subplot following one of the less interesting relationships in the show. As the war raged on the two characters would meet in secret, melding their lips together and having these "dates". They would have a good time, and then they would return to their camps until the next time. Near the end of the episode one of the love interests told the other they were going to leave.
Peridot felt her chest tighten as she watched this part. He thoughts raced by as she began to panic. She, she couldn't leave, it wasn't, there was no... She watched as the other love interest begged and pleaded for the first to stay, saying they had to defend the camp together, had to work as a team.
Peridot moved closer to the tv. She didn't want to see the love interest leave, didn't want to see what it would do to the second character.
The first love interest said that they wouldn't be part of this war anymore then they left, leaving the other alone, so alone. Peridot pressed a hand to the screen.
"No, don't..."
The other love interest fell to their knees and dramatically screamed to the heavens. They were broken, destroyed, unable to cope without the person they cared so much for.
"Please come back." Peridot pleaded, pressing her gem to the tv screen as tears began to roll down her face. "Please, I need you, I..."
She fell over, curling up in a ball, unable to hold back the tears and emotions. Why did Lapis leave? Had she done something wrong? Was she not a good enough reason for her to stay? Peridot beat her hands against the bottom of the truck.
"Why?! Why did you go! You hate me is that it?!" She looked at the sky, tears clouding her vision. She tried to wipe them away. "Tell me! I need to know!" She glared at the clouds but received no answer.
What was she supposed to do? She walked to the edge of the truck and leapt down, landing awkwardly on her feet before stumbling and falling. She quickly got back up. She needed to get away from here. She needed something to distract her. She started walking towards the nearby warp pad. Maybe if she could find somebody, someone to talk to they would...
No, she couldn't. That was how she had lost her. She grabbed at her hair, pulling it in frustration. She couldn't drive anyone else away. She had so few friends. What if they abandoned her too? Maybe that was just what she did. Maybe she just pushed people away.
She sunk to the ground and curled up, sinking into a pit of despair. She laid there for a long time, trying to steady herself. She felt frozen, like she was trapped in a bubble, like she couldn't move, or think, or even function. She didn't hear it when the warp pad activated, signaling that somebody was coming to the barn.
Amethyst walked along, her hands behind her head as she moved. "Garnet seemed real worried about something when she was talking to me. I wonder why she wanted me to come out to the barn. Maybe she's worried 'bout P-dot and Lapis?" She mused aloud as she walked, figuring there was nobody around to listen. She kept moving until she spotted a green lump in the grass that shouldn't be there. She moved over to it and saw that it was Peridot as she got closer.
"P-dot?" She reached a hand out and touched Peridot's shoulder, causing the green gem to jump and scream.
"No! Don't!" She blinked her tear filled eyes a few times as she looked at Amethyst. "A-Amethyst?" She quickly used her arm to wipe away the tears. "What, what are you doing out here?" She asked, looking at the other.
Amethyst just stood there and took in Peridot's appearance. She walked a bit closer. "Garnet wanted me to come out and check on you guys. What are you doing out here alone? Where's Lapis?"
Peridot flinched at the mention of her name and looked down, hiding her face. "I... I don't know."
Amethyst was confused. She scratched the back of her head through her mane of hair. "Oh, did she go on some kind of flying trip or something?"
Peridot looked up at Amethyst, a steady stream of tears rolling down her cheeks. "She... She left me."
Amethyst froze and then looked at Peridot. "Left? What do you mean?"
Peridot stood up, throwing her arms out. "She left! She said she wouldn't be part of this war! She said..." She looked at her hands, unsure of what to do. "She, she said..." She buried her face in her hands, trying to wipe away the tears. "She's just gone okay?!"
Amethyst flinched and held a hand out hesitantly. She slowly approached, not wanting to scare her friend. "Peridot..." She reached a hand out and touched Peridot's shoulder.
Peridot suddenly threw her arms around Amethyst's shoulders and buried her face in her hair, sobbing softly and shaking. "Why? Why did she leave? Is it me? Am I not good enough?"
Amethyst wrapped her arms around Peridot and gently rubbed her back. "Hey, don't talk like that. You're amazing. You're one of the smartest, coolest gems I know."
Peridot looked away, leaning her cheek against Amethyst's shoulder. "But why would she leave? I think I'm just. I think it's my fault. If I could just understand. I struggle though, I don't get it. I'm so useless."
Amethyst pulled back, making Peridot look her in the face. "Whoa there! Don't you dare talk about yourself like that!" She pointed a finger at Peridot.
Peridot seemed surprised to say the least. She just kind of stared at Amethyst with a confused expression.
"You are not useless. Who beat Jasper? You! Who drilled to the center of the earth and stopped the cluster? You! Who saved me from a runaway drill? You!" Amethyst smiled. "You're incredible!" She hugged her.
Peridot froze, her arms hanging in the air. Her eyes looked off into the distance and as she gripped onto Amethyst's hair and smiled a little as she hugged back. “Wow, thanks.”
"I think Lapis has a lot of personal stuff that she’s gotta work through. I think she had some serious crap happen to her during the last war. But I know that no matter the reasons she left they had nothing to do with you." Amethyst pulled back a bit and smiled, putting her hands on Peridot's shoulders. "Come on, cheer up." She moved to stand beside Peridot and slung an arm over her shoulder. "I've got an idea! Why don't we go watch some of those Camp Pining Farts films you like so much? I bet that'll cheer ya up!"
Peridot scowled. "It's called Camp Pining Hearts. Not farts." She smiled a bit at the purple gem’s ridiculousness. "But that sounds like a good idea."
Amethyst chuckled and walked Peridot back to the barn. They went up to the truck and Peridot put in one of the tapes. She then sat on the couch and was quickly pulled to Amethyst's side. Amethyst put a blanket around them and smiled. "You're gonna have to keep me up-to-date on stuff. I haven't watched this in a while."
Peridot nodded, fighting the blush that wanted to appear on her face. They watched for a little while in silence before Amethyst spoke.
"Who's that guy?" She asked, pointing to Percy.
Peridot quickly flew into an explanation of who Percy was and his entire history in the show along with her preferred pairings for him and the frustrations she had with him as a character.
Amethyst listened to all of this closely. A smile decorated her features. She was enjoying herself. She liked seeing Peridot so enthusiastic about this stuff and she could tell she was feeling better.
Once Peridot had finished her ranting she quickly curled back up against Amethyst's side and grabbed at the hand hanging over her shoulder. She looked at Amethyst. Maybe Lapis would be gone for a while. She probably did have something she needed to work out, some deep trauma that was tormenting her.
Peridot had seen it before back on homeworld. She was a certified kindergartener after all. Still she hoped wherever Lapis was that she was doing okay and that she would be able to work through whatever was going on. Peridot looked at Amethyst again and smiled as she nuzzled her head into the Quartz' shoulder. For now she could forget about Lapis and just enjoy the evening. She was happy Amethyst had come when she had. She hoped she would stay, at least for the night, just so she wouldn't be alone.
(Ha! You thought it would be about angst but there was fluff at the end! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! Hope you enjoyed reading this. Feel free to tell me what you thought and to request a fanfic.)
