#studyflow

10.17.22

Day 4 of Tranquil’s Studyblr Challenge

Day 4 Q: When was the last time you had a life-changing revelation? What revelation did you have?

Funny how much the question fits today’s crazy day! Honestly the most recent life changing revelation I had was 2 weeks ago in therapy! To make a long story short, within the past year I’ve lost 2 immediate family members so I’ve also been trying to navigate grief alongside everything else. To be honest I’ve spent too much time trying to put the revelation into a condensed version and it’s just not working at this time lol. Once things have calmed down I’d love to gather my thoughts some more on grief/grieving while being a student, and harvest what I find! But for now, it’s really just these main ideas:

Even though grief makes you feel so alien and so feral, it is that exact nature/experience that is so innately human. Like ironically this feeling of just complete alienation is one of the most shared human experiences.

What makes the grief so painful is thanks to the love being so beautiful. (And the love doesn’t stop, even if it must look different)

Your relationship to them is not over

Sending lots of warmth, love, and comfort to any heart that is hurting with grief (of any kind, not just literal passing) 🤍🤍🤍

Tomorrow will be officially 10 days until my Praxis exam so we are really trying to crack down! I finished my take home exam on Sunday (god bless!!!!) so now I get to really concentrate again on just Praxis studying again. My study plan doesn’t need to be perfect, I just really want to make myself proud of my effort and consistency. Today was honestly yucky so I’m looking forward to shaking it off and starting fresh tomorrow ❤️

Since the isolation has started about 10 days ago I was sick for six days (laryngitis) and the other days I was just procrastinating and feeling guilty for not immersing myself with work. 

So I have decided to make a challenge for myself - I have to write my dissertation work’s 70% during this four days (03.23. 6PM-03.27. 6PM) and I am going to send it via email to my professor at Friday. 

I won’t explain but this all is a huge work since it is for graduation and I have to read loads of scientific articles about absence epilepsy, understand them and make my conclusions and write an understandable dissertation etc.

Next to this I have to study for online classes and doing my online exams as well, but those will be fine.

My rules for this period:

delete all soical media from my phone, I only answer e-mails/ phone calls if it is necessary

quit reading mangas and watching kdramas- these are allowed only for half an hour after dinner (it is hard because I am a greedy person..)

if I am feeling distracted/not into it I am going to meditate, or walk or doing some work out/ or listening some music (music is so important for me)

trying to go to bed at a decent time (when I am in a flow I can be a bit obsessed with work, but this time it should be my goal to be in this state..) and waking up at a decent time

I think that’s it.

If it is a success, I can apply a bit eased version of this challenge for the upcoming weeks it is just I have to do this dissertation now. I have to. It is a  life or death matter to me rn.

DAY 29/100 OF PRODUCTIVITY