I write long letters every year but I dont have the energy for that today so heres a bullet list of things I've definitely covered before @ohgavins / @reluctantseer / @empathreading / @emptykept / @stillyouth / @ wherever else you are
I love you
youve literally saved my life
I'm so proud of you
I refuse to believe youre is 20
I think about your dumb ocs every day
have you seen the new Jack and dean video it made me cry this ones not about you but felt like an important bullet point
that time we met in person meant the world to me even though we just walked around in silence for an hour lmao
I genuinely want the best for you in every sense of your life
I'm so proud of how far you've come and I know you're gonna do good things in life
Ur such a good writer
I've been meaning to make that ghost oc that lives in the apartment building with Lewis and Camden and cam never sees her but lou thinks shes a neighbor and thinks hes just got a nosy neighbor even though it's a ghost and then the inevitable moment of "you know I'm dead right? I've been dead for like 5 years" "I'm sorry what the fuck"
I still owe u my life for introducing me to sp7
this also is about something you should watch and not you but have you seen blood fest because its so good and if you havent seen it we should watch it sometime bc im so gay for barb in blood fest
here’s some random screencaps of our conversations that I have saved
the day that changed my life
i dont remember the context of this one but its funny
i do remember the context of this one but its funnier if i dont give context
the start of an era
official callout @ me for ruining ocs lives
happy birthday rachel i cant believe ive known you almost 5 years thats almost half a decade rachel what the fuck
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“the dude with red hair said you’re nice but there was a short dark haired girl who told me you’re an asshole.” you know that it probably isn’t the best way to start a conversation with him, but to be fair you’ve never done anything the best way. “oh, and belle just said you’re really old? but i don’t really get what she meant ‘cause you look like you’re the same age as me and her and everyone else?”
“I was going to go inside but I overheard you and the superfriends having a special moment and I came over a bit queasy.” holden @ belle
@stillyouth // some meme from 3 blogs ago.
“charming.” belle says with a short laugh, or perhaps it had been more of a puff of air out her nose. “that what we are? ‘superfriends’? you realize that’d include you, right? i mean you can’t read minds or shoot plants out your hands or do whatever it is marcus does, but you’re kinda super old. and being super old makes you a super-friend.”
“I will.” It’s still strange to her for him to show affection, but perhaps it’s something she should get used to considering that they only have each other now. They’re months into the apocalypse, her abilities helping slightly though they’re both always terrified something will happen to her. After all, he’s gonna live forever, and she doesn’t want to leave him all alone in a world like this.
A world where the best and safest shelter they could find is an old tree house, barely big enough for the pair of them but high enough up that no dead people can reach. It’d be a brilliant idea if only it was warm or less flammable. Still, she’s not about to complain about it. They’ve got a place to stay for a while, and that’s the part that matters. Not the hard floor that has a couple of nails poking out or the walls that seemed to be falling apart or the ladder up that was about as stable as a walker with one leg. Those things didn’t matter as much as the ( leaky ) roof over their heads.
Still, even in times like this she’d expected him to still be the same old unhappy and overly sarcastic Holden; she’d never have expected to hear him crying when he thought she was asleep. It’s been days since that happened and she can’t stop thinking about it, though she’d never actually bring it up. She knows he’s not one for sharing his feelings, especially with her. His words bring a small smile to her face, though, the subtle proof that he cares about her at least a little bit., even if he won’t outright admit it.
In a somewhat bold move she hugs him, the first time she’s done it with meaning other than fooling her brother. She hasn’t told Holden exactly what happened to her brother, all that he knows is that her eyes can glow red now. The hug is short and she pulls away as quickly as she’d gone in, offering a gentle smile but not expecting it to be returned. “It’s just a little food run. I’ve done it before, no doubt it’ll be easy.”
This is a couple of days early but I don’t care. 2 years. 2 years is a long ass time, and today in a couple of days i’m celebrating two 2 year anniversaries. the one everyone’s expecting ( the 2 year anniversary of me playing beth ) and the one less people know about ( the 2 year anniversary of being friends with rachel ). two years and a million memories later, here we are. staying up far too late talking about plots and changing my url because of a movie about fucking bees. countless muses, trillions of plots and even more emotions. we've been together through the ups and the downs, from my final year of high school and my graduation to your final year of high school and your graduation, we've been together through it all. so here’s to you rachel. @ghostmade, @empathreading, @jcstafriend, @stillyouth & @nostalgicdan.
not to be that person, but i never really had friends growing up. i had no specific friends until i was about 8, had one friend for about 6 years then she moved on, got another friend that im thankful to still have to this day ( shoutout to raine ) and then you. that’s pretty much it. three people in my life i can honestly say i’ve been good friends with. maybe along the road a couple of people got to kinda be my friend, but the moment i stopped going to school with them we stopped talking, so i dont think it really counts.
i dont know if you remember this, ‘cause it was a while ago, but i still remember the night i came out to my mum. i can’t remember the date or anything like that, but i remember the night. it was about midnight, i was on beth and i was talking to you, jess and monique on skype. someone mentioned coming out, idk why. i cant go back that far on skype, but something triggered me to want to come out. it was one am and i remember saying something like ‘in the morning i think i might come out’ and u guys all said to do it and i got really hyped up and at 1:30am i woke my mum up and told her i was bi. i remember coming back and just ‘i came out to my mum lol’ and we all got really excited and hyped up and it’s a strong memory for me because i had never really felt ready to come out before, and a couple of words on a screen from people i hadnt even met made me feel so strong and empowered i couldnt believe it.
but of course one of the most important parts of our friendship had to be creating belle and eldon back in january. i honestly didn’t expect them to last long, maybe a month. none of my muses had lasted long before other than beth; especially not ocs. but then these two little ocs that had been made on impulse one night changed my life. it sounds stupid and corny but it’s true. i cant see a camera or photography things without thinking of belle, and the moment space or aliens come up eldon is overtaking my brain. it takes everything in me not to gush about them every second of the day to people that havent got a clue who they are. they have changed my life though. playing belle has made me really think about things, made me really appreciate my family and has me feeling a lot more confident in myself and my sexuality and everything about me. eldon has made me realize that it’s okay to still be childish sometimes, that having passions is important and you shouldn’t be ashamed of them. he’s taught me that maybe things arent gonna be good all the time, but that doesn’t mean you have to be sad or a downer, you can be smiling and happy even if things aren’t perfect. their powers have taught me to consider other peoples thoughts and feelings, but not to get hung up on them. that it’s okay to be concerned about peoples thoughts about you, but that you don’t have to pay attention to what other people want you to be. the twins have done so much for me without even really doing anything, and it’s so crazy for me to think that these 2 characters could do so much for me. i could go on about them for hours, but this is already getting long.
i’m not gonna go too in depth with ash, holden and bianca, but we both know that they mean a lot to me and i’m sure i’m still gonna have ash and bianca next year and i hope you still have holden. i hope that we still have all our muses and i hope so very much that we’re still close. i’m not gonna let you go without a big, desperate fight. you mean so much to me, so much more than i can express in words, and i really do love you. i want to be there to see the ways you grow and change over the next year, both as a writer and as an individual, i wanna be a part of your life and i wanna know all i can and help with all that i can and i just want to be as good of a friend as i possibly can be, and even come and actually meet you one day soon. i’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished over the past year ( especially graduating and getting your learners permit ) and i love you lots. here’s to another year of rachelina.
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suicide squad ( the album ) starters | @stillyouth
‘ pretty much always. ’ she nods, giving a gentle shrug. she doesn’t know holden all that well, but she feels that they could get along. ‘ did you have something specific in mind, or are we going on a rebellious scavenger hunt? ’
‘ fuck you I have great manners. ’ it’s a response she says without thinking about it, and it’s far more aggressive than she’s been trying to act lately. if you show even the tiniest amount of aggression in this town they all automatically assume you’re the killer ( she is the killer, but that isn’t the point ). ‘ plus, i’m pretty sure you couldn’t care less about manners. ’
