#jcstafriend

not to be that person, but i never really had friends growing up. i had no specific friends until i was about 8, had one friend for about 6 years then she moved on, got another friend that im thankful to still have to this day ( shoutout to raine ) and then you. that’s pretty much it. three people in my life i can honestly say i’ve been good friends with. maybe along the road a couple of people got to kinda be my friend, but the moment i stopped going to school with them we stopped talking, so i dont think it really counts.

i dont know if you remember this, ‘cause it was a while ago, but i still remember the night i came out to my mum. i can’t remember the date or anything like that, but i remember the night. it was about midnight, i was on beth and i was talking to you, jess and monique on skype. someone mentioned coming out, idk why. i cant go back that far on skype, but something triggered me to want to come out. it was one am and i remember saying something like ‘in the morning i think i might come out’ and u guys all said to do it and i got really hyped up and at 1:30am i woke my mum up and told her i was bi. i remember coming back and just ‘i came out to my mum lol’ and we all got really excited and hyped up and it’s a strong memory for me because i had never really felt ready to come out before, and a couple of words on a screen from people i hadnt even met made me feel so strong and empowered i couldnt believe it. 

but of course one of the most important parts of our friendship had to be creating belle and eldon back in january. i honestly didn’t expect them to last long, maybe a month. none of my muses had lasted long before other than beth; especially not ocs. but then these two little ocs that had been made on impulse one night changed my life. it sounds stupid and corny but it’s true. i cant see a camera or photography things without thinking of belle, and the moment space or aliens come up eldon is overtaking my brain. it takes everything in me not to gush about them every second of the day to people that havent got a clue who they are. they have changed my life though. playing belle has made me really think about things, made me really appreciate my family and has me feeling a lot more confident in myself and my sexuality and everything about me. eldon has made me realize that it’s okay to still be childish sometimes, that having passions is important and you shouldn’t be ashamed of them. he’s taught me that maybe things arent gonna be good all the time, but that doesn’t mean you have to be sad or a downer, you can be smiling and happy even if things aren’t perfect. their powers have taught me to consider other peoples thoughts and feelings, but not to get hung up on them. that it’s okay to be concerned about peoples thoughts about you, but that you don’t have to pay attention to what other people want you to be. the twins have done so much for me without even really doing anything, and it’s so crazy for me to think that these 2 characters could do so much for me. i could go on about them for hours, but this is already getting long.