#square dance

Persephone stimboard!

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Jasper and Emmett freqeuntly have rock fights with giant ass boulders. Jasper has to be careful not to mess up his outfits or Alice will get mad at him. She color coordinates their clothes in various shades of pastel beige and white and greige (seriously those are alice's colors in the books)

Jasper very badly wishes he could take Alice square dancing without wanting to eat the whole ballroom. He tried to teach the Cullens and Denali last time they all got together in one place but Emmett thought the whole thing was way too dorky, Tanya kept trying to feel up Edward, and Eleazar tried to feel up basically all of the Cullen women and also insisted on having a rose in his mouth the whole time. Rosalie almost ripped off his head. It was universally agreed upon to not try the square dancing again.

Jasper secretly watches Hannah Montana when Alice isn't looking.

Jasper felt really bad about being on the wrong side of the civil war (especially with his empathy gift, if he was around slaves at all he should have known better) so he tried to seek out racists to eat while he was still snacking on humans. It wouldn't be as easy as it was for Edward to find horrible people, and his gift would have still made it unpleasant for him to eat someone but it was a little better than eating an innocent person.

In the books, Emmett and Edward have fursonas, this is a literal canon thing where they prefer to eat a certain type of animal and think it makes them more like that animal, emmetts fursona is a bear and edwards is a mountain lion. like this is an actual thing stephanie meyer wrote. none of the women are like this and carlisle isn't either lmao. Anyway jasper's fursona is a horse but he's too embarrassed to tell anyone and Edward is too busy being an angsty little twerp that he doesnt notice even though he can read jasper's mind. obviously jasper doesnt eat horses, he just has a thing about them and misses being able to ride them.

tdlr silly jasper headcanons

thank u for sending me this ask :)

the rock fight is actually hilarious to imagine XD idk what greige is tho-

i can vivdly imagine this square dancing scenario gone wrong and its absolutely fucking hilarious XD

why does he watch hannah montana-

yes i love this hc <3 jasper is a good boy :)

WDYM THEYRE FURRIES IN THE BOOKS O.O i need to buy these books omfg-

Taylor Stanley in Balanchine's Square Dance.