#splenic

The more I try to do, the more drained I feel and the more my body hurts.

The second chakra is the splenic chakra. It is located at the Sacrum and is the point of pleasure which can be blocked by guilt. I meditated on what I blamed myself for. This one was a tough one because there were so many things that has happened and I had to be sure I didn't confuse guilt with shame. I finally came to a good subject under the guilt category.

Lies.

I realized just how many lies I have told in the past. The reasons for them is irrelevant, the point was the lies I told hurt a lot of people. So, what I had to realize was what done is done, there is no changing it now. Now what? Learn from the situation and never let it happen again? That's a start. What else can I do? I know my karma will negate all the bad energy my next life (I'm Buddhist, by the way) so what can I do to in this life that will help? Perhaps teach others just how much of an impact our action have on other people.

For example, I was engaged to a guy who I thought was great. Unfortunately, I found out the hard way that he had a lot of growing up to do. When we moved in together I needed to trade in my car. Even though it was outside our budget i signed the papers to get a nice car because he said "trust me." He didn't realize just what he had done. Not only could we not afford the car but he quit his job, spent his money frivolously, nearly got us evicted a few times let alone I had to pay a lot of bills with a credit card that was over the limit. Soon, he decided to break off the engagement leaving me with the money issues. Because he didn't consider that I sacrificed everything for our future. It caused me to file for bankruptcy the embarrassment and stress of talking to creditors, the car was repoed and I had to work an average of 60-65 hours a week just to pay the lawyers fees. It didn't take long before I had a nervous breakdown and had to spend time in the hospital.