#spitefulness

Oh...spitefulness. Such a strong emotion. It can both ruin you and lead you out of your misery. It breaks your limits as if they never existed. It frees you. It could be such a rude word for someone who's never been hurt. But they don't understand. All the pain that's been growing inside you finally being alowed to go away. Resuscitating your body from the coma it's been in since the accident. You just can't help feeling relieved after doing anything out of spite. It helps your soul grow and that's the most amazing thing about it all. It's amazing in the most terrible way possible but damn...it feels so right. You have to be selfish sometimes. You cannot always be the bigger person if that means that you're never going to be able to pull yourself back together again. It's a way to cheat life and heartbreak. There comes a day in everyone's lives when you just stop for a second and realize that you've sacrificed yourself one too many times. So if hurting someone at least as bad as they did helps you move on and cures the ache that's been keeping your heart awake for so long, then just go for it. The feeling you get afterwards, that's what pure, genuine freedom feels like. You've finally done something only for your own well being. And that is the most amazing thing you can do out of spite.

Someone put a note on my car telling me that if I have a permit to this parking lot, to park on “my side” of it.

And this parking lot is a lot of the two apartments across from each other and a restaurant.

Sometimes, I park in any open space because of the hustle and bustle of the restaurant. And I’m not going to move my car after 8pm, especially to move it one space over.

For context, i have lived here for almost three years and it’s never been a problem. I’m sure it’s just this guy is mad I’m in “his spot” which has no reserved spot sign or anything of the sort.

It’s an open lot.

Im tempted to tape this letter on the door of the other building and just write:

There are few different kinds of spite, one is done to spite a person, who they are, and their own feelings. Its done to hurt them, Its essentially revenge. This kind of spite is vengeful and full of hate. It contributes to the bottomless bit of hell that's filled with bitter people constantly taking stabs at one another continuing to dig the hole deeper and deeper because none of them have the courage to forgive- to start looking and traveling up. Its an endless blame game of constantly taking measures to ensure what’s "fair" that ends up burrowing everyone involved into a deep, dirty, bloody, pit of despair. Its hell. Its the bottomless pit of hell, made possible by the shovel of hate, anger, jealousy, etc. However, one can spite hate itself, this kind of spite is excellent, as its motivated to do the absolute opposite of the sufferings that were done to you. If you spite a hateful person, by being kind, that’s a healthy spite, I suppose.