#spirite

Tensed.

That was the only word anyone could describe about you. You sat between Druig and Makkari, you could feel their eyes drilling on you. Your smile was turned into a frown.

Silence.

Their whole family went silent after you asked Ikaris what he meant.

''What do you mean by that?'' Coldness rolled out of your tongue, a hollowness found your body that you gladly welcomed again after it lost his way when you were rescued out of the Red Room and your eyes lost the dimmed sparkle. Out of the corners of your eyes you saw that Druig and Makkari were looking at each other in worry.

A small grin formed on his face, but Sersi looked at her lover with a hint of disapointment.

The realisation hit you after a few seconds, you didn't know you were tensed up until Makkari softened the frown on your face and Druig laid a hand on you shoulder.

''Don't touch me,'' you spoke and signed. Somewhere in the distance it sounded like a warning, a faint call to do not do it again or harm will come to you.

''My love,''

''My sweet, sweet Y/N.''

They began whispering your nicknames, trying to avert a fight. But it was hurt that you felt, anger, grief, sadness and betrayal. You couldn't hold it in anymore, no human can.

How could they betray you like that? Your lovers, how could they do that?

You stared at the carpet of someone's house, that you couldn't remember the name. Druig and Makkari's sussing fell on deaf ears.

They called themselves the Eternals, were around 7000 years old, had powers. Powers to let the world flourish, to stop harm, to stop meaningless wars and to stop the Red Room, Hydra and Thanos. They had all the resources, they could have done it. But why didn't they do it? Did they wanted it to happen?

Lowly you spoke after regaining your voice.

''Why?''

''What why, Y/N?'' It was Druig who said it, while Makkari took your balled fist, preyed it open and gave a little kiss on the knuckles on your hand.

You closed your eyes for a few seconds only to be met with the green lively eyes of Natasha.

A wave of grief crashes over you, you were sure Druig could feel/hear or how the fuck it would work your emotions. You opened your E/C eyes and were met with watery eyes.

Druig and Makkari wanted to see your face, what was going on in your mind, why you were acting so odd. But you didn't budge, you shutted yourself out, from them from the other Eternals. A coping mechanism that you quickly learned in the Red Room.

"What she meant is why we wouldn't do anything, is that right?''

You tilted your face to the right to see the face of the voice, it was Phastos. You hummed in agreement.

A soft oh escaped the lips of the Eternals.

''It's because we were told to not to intervere, Y/N.'' It was Makkari who explained it to you, but you didn't want to hear it.

''Stop,'' you signed to her. ''I don't want to hear any of this.''

Your gaze fell on Druig and the rest of their family, well 'family' Druig wouldn't call them family.

''All of you- '' your voice cracked and you snatched out your hand out of Makkari's to wipe away a stray tear. ''All of you had a choice to help the people on my planet and you didn't.'' You took a shaky breath. ''You didn't and now they are dead, because of you.''

The Eternals erupted into a defensive roar, trying to apologise, to give excuses for what they did. A flash of hot white clouded your vision and you let your tears freely fall.

What they did was inhumane, cruel. They could have saved you, saved your childhood, saved your innocence, saved your Natalia.

Your heart was broken in millions ways that even Druig and Makkari couldn't fix, maybe not even you.

Natasha, the brave, brave Natasha, your sister. Only her you could think about. Flashes of Yelena, Natasha, you, mama and papa were running through.

''Yelena, Natalia-sha help! Help!'' A cry for help came out of your mouth after papa decided to pester you. He tickled your sides while you were kicking him to let you go. A few seconds went by and Natasha flew on papa's back while Yelena poked in his rib. Your hysteric laughing ebbed away and quickly you runned to mama.

Clank!

The wooden swords were clanking against eachother. You three were in the backyard playing pirate.

'"Watch out because I, the most feared pirate in the whole world is going to destroy the both of you!'' Natasha's green eyes widend to gave her character some flair. You side eyed Yelena, a silence agreement to take the most feared pirate down.

''You're going down pirate!''

Both you and Yelena runned to Natasha to tackle her.

You three pushed your head against eachother, in the background you could hear sirencs and the engines of cars.

''You should go away, they are looking for me.'' Natasha spoke to you two in Russian. You already knew who she was talking about. The four of you flew away in a helicopter and you saw that Natasha was arrested by some man called Ross.

''You killed her,'' you swung your arms around. ''You killed her,'' your voice was raw. ''And now she's dead.''

A soft who, you could hear.

Makkari and Druig pushed you slowly to the couch and kneeled before you both cupping a cheek.

''Who Y/N?'' They ignored your insults, knowing that they came out of a dark place. A place that you hid them away from.

''If you can't talk it's okay, you can show me.'' His Irish accent was filled with desperation.

''No, don't. I don't want to be mind controlled again, ever.''

Exhaustion.

Mentally and psychical you felt exhausted.

Makkari read your lips and stroked your cheek signing that it would be okay. Worry streamed through her veins and she took Druig's hand to calm herself. It looked like Druig needed it too.