#spiderposts

FAIR WARNING: WE’RE STILL HEAVILY UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!!

Evening, it’s Yelena Belova. I am Natasha Romanoff’s little sister (I know) and now I’m a member of “The New Avengers”. I…have a dog, Fanny. And a guinea pig, Tykva. So that’s cool, I guess. [MORE COMING SOON]

Family/Friends: Dad/Alexei: @official-redguardian Bob: @arandomnerdsrp358 My Wonderful Girlfriend <33: [LOOKING FOR AN AVA OR KATE BISHOP] Bucky: @official-buckybarnes John: Other Yelenas: @your-fav-russian-assassin @yelena-blackwidow [MORE COMING SOON]

MOD INFO UNDER THE CUT!

Miguel: Okay raise of hands who actually has a brain cell here?

Peter B:

Ham:

Noir:

Poppy:

Miles:

Gwen: *starts to raise hand*

Miles: *Lowers hand*

Peni: Does it count if it’s in the possession of my spider, and not me

-🕷🕸-

Miles: Strange flex but cool beans

Gwen: Freaky flexing but whatever

Peni: Quirky characteristic but allowed

Poppy: Abnormal brag but continue

Noir: Strange flaunt, but alas

Ham: Unorthodox display of hubris but very well

Peter B: So this is what hell is like

-🕷🕸-

Poppy: You guys never heard of Batman? Or the Justice League?

Everyone, putting away their comics: No...

Alternatively

Miles: So Nick Fury of all people come up to me-

Poppy: Woah woah woah. Like the comic book hero?

Ham: ???

Miles: Comic book hero?

Poppy: Yeah, Nick Fury, played by Samuel L. Jackson, wears an eyepatch, ominous as fuck

Miles: Weird, that sound just like him. Here, look *shows picture*

Poppy:

Poppy, softly: Holy fuck

-🕷🕸-

Miguel: I just feel like I’m doing all the work and I’m not getting any credit-

Poppy: Let me ask you a very fair question. What do you do successfully

Miguel:

Poppy: Quickly

-🕷🕸-

Poppy and Gwen, to Peni: Aren’t you tired of going apeshit

P and G: DON’T YOU WANT TO BE NICE?!

Peni: No :3

-🕷🕸-

Noir: On one hand it’s very good to have someone you can talk to about your feelings

Noir: On another hand this whole group is ready to storm my dimension to commit several murders and I don’t know how long I can hold them back

-🕷🕸-

Mary Jane: Peter, if we are going to have a relationship again, I think it is best we talk about children before starting anything

Peter B: Okay, okay. I have four children

Mary Jane:

Mary Jane: Wha-

Peter B: They’re technically not mine, but the bond just happen y’know! We meet up every weekend in Miles dimension for burgers, I can introduce you to them then!

Mary Jane: I was gone for like a year what the fuck happened

-🕷🕸-

Poppy: Hey Peter can we visit your dimension next week!

Peter B: Ask your mother

Miles: ...Who’s the mother of the group?

Gwen: Hey Ham-

-🕷🕸-

Mary Jane: Hi I’m MJ and this is the Mary Janes

The Spider gang, all wearing handle bar mustaches: GO GWEN!!!!

-🕷🕸-

Peter B, who borrowed Poppy’s phone to look something up: You have a girl’s group chat?

Poppy: Obviously. It’s where we send memes to each other

Peter B: You guys already send memes to the group chat

Poppy: Oh nononono

Poppy: It’s where we send memes specifically about you guys

-🕷🕸-

Peter B, Ham, and Noir: I can’t believe we adopted four unruly teenagers

Aunt May: Join the club

-🕷🕸-

Peni: As the once great fire god said

Peni: “I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid”

-🕷🕸-

Mission: Calls for a self sacrificing idiot

Every spider, immediately: I VOLUNTEER!!!

-🕷🕸-

Poppy and Gwen: We only had Peni for a day and a half

P and G: But if anything happened to her we will destroy everything in this dimension and then ourselves

The Spider dudes, nodding: Valid

-🕷🕸-

Peni: Leg

Gwen: Shoulders

Miles: Knees

Poppy: And toes

Peni: You idiots it’s ‘HEAD shoulders knees and toes!’

Poppy: You started it with legs?!?

Peni: THIS IS NOT WHAT I WAS PLANNING

-🕷🕸-

Poppy: I miss Normie

Miles: Uh, anyone else?

Poppy: JJ? MJ? Betty? Of course I miss them!

Miles: Do you not have a whole ass sibling back home?!

Poppy:

Miles:

Poppy: p e t e r

Peter B, Ham, Noir: Suddenly, I don’t feel safe anymore

-🕷🕸-

Gwen: I don’t dance when I fight

Gwen: I perform

*whole badass dance-fight scene*

Doc Ock: 10/10!

-🕷🕸-

Ham: Become Spider-Ham they said

Ham: It would be fun they said

Ham, pointing to apartment where the Spidergang is: LOOK WHAT I WOKE UP TO THIS MORNING

-🕷🕸-

Peter B: So we’re going to be all sneaky to get the information

Peni: Or, hear me out

Peni: Explosions

-🕷🕸-

Peter B, upon meeting the spiderkids: You remind me of myself when I was younger

Peter B: This will end badly for everyone

-🕷🕸-

Miguel: Okay who here is actually straight

Peter B:

Noir:

Ham:

Miles:

Poppy:

Gwen:

Peni: *starts to raise hand but pauses*

Heyo! So I’ve been away for a while and I’m going to be honest, for the art I had several things planned but I hit an artist block, so I didn’t. One of them I’m still doing but the other was suppose to be for New Years so I’m just gonna drop that one. Maybe later in the year I’ll post the sketch I had for it.

But I am working on something! The Into the Spiderverse fic! I can’t write to save my life so it’s taking a while, but in the meantime, have some alignments of the spider gang (plus poppy). Note. I can’t draw anyone in the cast and I regret not giving Peter B gray hairs

Two things. For the third one, they’re all Bi but I just wanted to know who’s distinguished, functional, and disaster. And for the last one I felt like Ham could fit all of the squares so I just put him in the middle.

TW: alcohol abuse Today’s mission was a goddamn shitstorm. That was the best way Yelena could put it in. Did they get the target? Yes, definitely, that guy is very, very dead. Did they also have to run an egregious amount and have to deal with several building explosions? Yes, yes they did.

You deserve it, Yelena.

[ @the-ava-starr ]

Maya was standing in a corner, fiddling with something in her hands. Yelena recognized her, the face behind quite a few murders. But when Maya sees her, she doesn't reach for a gun or anything.

She just... steps forward.

"Uh, hey. Sorry for breaking in like this.... I know what you're probably thinking, but...

I need help. And you... you have experience getting out of situations. So... I was hoping... maybe you could help?"

@maya-smith-isinnocent

She blinked, her eyes briefly drifting to the dagger she always had on her belt. Yet, she didn’t pick it up. Something compelled her to not move forward.

How was she supposed to react? There was a woman in her house, one that definitely was wanted by a nation or two, and she was asking for help. Goddamnit, Yelena, say something instead of just standing there. “…uhm…yeah, sure,” she responded, partially confused and partially wondering how desperate this woman had to be to break in here. She glanced at Fanny, who was just sleeping on the couch. “So much for a guard dog,” she muttered under her breath.

I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW

Instead of focusing on what I’m suppose to do, I decided to mess around with Poppy and decided to do a redesign of one of my earliest works of her

And HOLY SHIT DID IT TURN OUT AMAIZNG

I am SO SATISFIED with how this looks! I mean, not everything obviously. I think the background is a little too crowded but it still looks really nice, and even when I had to change ideas it turned out really nice and IM HAPPY :D :D :D

MJ: People often look at me and Poppy and think that I’m the top

MJ: But they haven’t seen Poppy lift her shirt to wipe her face and show off her abs

MJ: But I have

MJ: I have

-🕷🕸-

J.J: You know what’s a really nifty letter? J

Poppy: As in Joker?

J.J: YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE-

-🕷🕸-

Normie: Hey y’all Poppy’s in trouble rn so keep her in your prayers

Betty: Is she okay?! Who’s attacking her?!

Normie: Me

Normie: BITCH DIDNT WASH THE DISHES EVEN THOUGH ITS H E R W E E K

-🕷🕸-

Bonus

Peter: You haven’t been in your room for five months what are you doing here

Poppy: I forgot to do the dishes

Peter: Stay as long as you like but I’m not getting you food

-🕷🕸-

Poppy, while sobbing: Well today was a great day. Can’t wait for tomorrow

-🕷🕸-

All of Poppy’s villains: 13-year-olds are the meanest people in the world! They’ll insult you but in an ACCURATE way! Like I would be minding my own business causing mayhem when all the sudden I hear

Poppy: Hahaha! Hahaha! Look at that villain they got no actual lair and have to rely on abandon warehouses!

Villains: And I’m like “NO THAT’S WHAT IM SENSITIVE ABOUT!!”

-🕷🕸-

Bonus

Normie: Poppy you can’t talk we live in a crap apartment and steal failed experiments from Oscorps

Poppy: But at least my laptop looks sick

-🕷🕸-

At a gala

Poppy, sliding up to Normie: Want a frog

Normie: ...What

Poppy: I snuck in like ten frogs and have been handing them out to people. I got four left want one

Normie:

Normie: Fuck yeah I want a frog

-🕷🕸-

Poppy: Why did I become a vigilante?

Poppy: Something bad really happened to me

Poppy: So I decided to get bigger badder things to happen to me so I would forget about that one!

No she is not okay

-🕷🕸-

Normie: WHY WONT YOU JUST GO TO THERAPY?!

Poppy: I WILL WHEN YOU DO!!

Normie: ARRRGGHHH!!!!

You can swap any of the Widow’s Web in and it will still work

-🕷🕸-

Flash, on the internet: I ain’t afraid of nobody!

Betty: Your name is Eugene “Flash” Thompson you go to Mission Academy you live on 486 Boluvard in Manhattan....

Flash: What the fuck

Flash: WHAT THE FUCK PLEASE TAKE THAT DOWN

-🕷🕸-

MJ: I’m a lesbian

Flash: Okay cool I respect your sexuality

MJ, pulling out Poppy: This is my girlfriend

Flash:

Flash: I said I respect your sexuality not your type

-🕷🕸-

Venom: Face it Widow! There is nothing you can do! You’re DOOMED!

Widow: I’ll call your daughter

Venom: Wait no-

-🕷🕸-

Bonus

Betty, spraying Venom: Bad dad! I’ll tell mom you’re being mean to my friends!

Venom: WAIT NO IM SORRY-

-🕷🕸-

At a gala

Some rich dude: So when will you two get married

Normie and Poppy: *interally, eternally, screaming*

-🕷🕸-

Normie: Hand me your hairdryer!

Betty: What hairdryer?

Normie: Don’t you guys carry hairdryers in your purses?

MJ: Have you ever met a human woman

Normie, calling Poppy: Hey do you carry a hairdryer in your purse?

Poppy: Of course! I’m not an animal

-🕷🕸-

Norman: I want my grandson to grow up around the FINEST people so he won’t turn out a waste like his father!

Normie: This is my best friend Poppy

Poppy: Hi

Norman: Okay I’ll make an exception for her because she looks Very Polite

(He later found out he was very wrong)

-🕷🕸-

Normie: We’re in the tabloids again

Poppy: Was I caught sucking your dick?

Normie: No, Jessie Hathaway was, and you’re apperently upset over it

Poppy: Yeah I am! Why would you choose Jessie Hathaway over me!

-🕷🕸-

Poppy: Okay you’re going to need to make a vid explaining why you’re on Widow’s side all of the sudden

J.J: I gotchu

Also J.J: WIDOW SAVED MY LIFE AND MADE OUT WITH ME (NOT CLICKBAIT!!)

-🕷🕸-

Normie: You forgot J.J is a shitposter

Poppy, who is Very Tired: I forgot J.J is a shitposter

-🕷🕸-

Poppy: Looks like she could kill you but is a cinnamon roll

J.J: Looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll

Betty: Looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you

MJ: Looks like she could kill you and could kill you