#widow

This song by Mars Volta is simply explosive. You’ll see.

The fact that Widow says “spawn of those who dared to flee” instead of something like “spawn of traitors” or “daughter of the faithless” or anything along those lines makes me question if she’d always been this loyal to GMS. Obviously she worships her now, and the achievement for killing her is even named “fanatic,” but the wording of “dared to” implies maybe Widow sees herself as the opposite: someone cowardly, unable or unwilling to follow her kin in their escape.

It doesn’t change her current character that much, but it implies that she hadn’t always been this obsessed with GMS, that she and the other Weavers had conflicting feelings about their imminent exodus. In the end, between fleeing and staying behind, the Weavers chose the former, and Widow chose the latter.

The Shutters are Closed

Artist: Nourse Elisabeth (American, 1859-1938)

Date: 19th century

Medium: Oil on canvas

The Doctor: It's funny, the day you lose someone isn't the worst—at least you've got something to do. It's all the days they stay dead.

First red flag: General Aziraphale?? Brave guardian, fierce defender…but leading other angels to slaughter—or be slaughtered by—their brethren? Never.

Mutt’s Spouse couldn’t get a name?!? Even the disposable demon got a name.

“You go too fast for me…” The breakneck pacing, trying to squeeze in all the absolutely most pertinent bits, sacrificed the softness & humor of the previous 12 episodes. I feel l missed so much just trying to keep up & frankly I’m not sure I’ll be able to watch it again any time soon. Which brings me to…

That ending. I didn’t think anything could be worse than the last minutes of season 2. Jesus gluten-free-crust-pizza was I wrong, and I didn’t even understand why until days later.

The third anniversary of my husband’s death fell 2 days after the premier. He had dementia (likely FTD) & I was his sole caregiver for the last few years of his life. Gradually his ability to communicate failed; his memories faded, of everything he was/had been. I lost him long before he was actually gone. The idea of our 40 years together—our lives, our love—evaporating into nothingness was incomprehensible to me.

It took 4 days for the realization to coalesce in my brain, & when it came it was like a baseball bat to the back of the head. Six thousand years of friendship, adventures, camaraderie—LOVE—vanished; or worse, never existed at all. That’s what was so triggering to me. But that wasn’t all.

Seeing Anthony & Asa, sharing a few moments at the end of one of their many days together (how many days, years will that be??))…I felt a profound loneliness. Not a new feeling or even surprising—it had just never been so tangible.

My husband was 16 years older than me; we always knew we wouldn’t grow old together. I don’t expect there to be another love story at this stage of my life, but I do so miss the warm intimacy of a familiar partner. And now I’m thinking of Anna & Georgia…