#spec ed

This picture never gets old....

college was cool, i did what i could or thought id like to do. i grew a lott. like probs the most in my whole life except for last year working at ch. just like finding my way out of that midset id always had that im scared of everything and away from that i have to follow all these random rules, - but thinking for myself and hurrying up with schoolwork. made some best friends there.

peace corps after that was one of the most worthwhile accomplishments of my life - its def not for everyone but i think it was full of everything that i thought made a life worthwile, all my fav things though it was hard as hell thats the weird thing. met some of the best people there, great connections, changed my life/worldview. lost 15 pounds, gained it back when i came home lol. really moved me .and meant a lot to me that my family came and saw everything there with me . fell in lovee with the experience .

My journey began three years ago. I was lost. So extremely, extraordinarily, irrevocably lost. I didn’t know what I wanted to do besides get a degree. I knew getting one in a “high-need field” would mean I could pay back my loans faster so I switched from generalist to special education and that was it. I was in. Over the years I saw my classes dwindle from 50 to 30 to 20 to the cohort I just graduated with which was 13. 13 of us stuck through the long nights, the hundreds of hours of practicum, the unpaid student teaching that left us crying and holding on sad to go but happy to finally see the light at the end.

And here I am today.

In the middle of student teaching I saw an ad for a job fair. It was a school district I already subbed with and I figured I’d go and see what it was about. I really wanted to work for the district because while it wasn’t the closest, all the schools are title (I can get a relief on my loans… it’s not as bad as it sounds… college is expensive when you don’t have a plan), the community is amazing, the opportunity to make an impact on students and their families is a feeling i could never get another chance at, and the district is HUGE which means I have the opportunity to move around and explore (going into this a SP told me not to stay in any one place longer than 2 years, special education changes and you don’t want to get caught in the crossfire). So I go and I talk to one person, and another, and I leave feeling good then I get a phone call and an HR admin tells me she’s going to look at vacancies and call me back. WHAT. I was ecstatic. This meant hope. So a week goes by and nothing, she’s probably busy. And another week goes by and nothing. Follow-up, definitely. I send an email and nothing. I finish student teaching and fly over to HR knowing I’m inactive on their sub roster and want to start immediately. I come back the next day for an interview and one thing leads to another and I’m sitting in the office with the woman who initially called me from the job fair. She offers me a “pre-hire” contract meaning they know they have vacancies and would like me to work there. I sub and wait for the next job fair where all the principals and admin of all the elementary schools (50+) will interview potential candidates. It’s overwhelming to say the least. I spent the night before out, was unsure of what to expect, forgot my portfolio, was not prepared on my own accord. I wanted this but large crowds, group presentations, and pressure is one of my weaknesses, which is one of my answers for the question of course. So I do one interview, it’s brief and I stumble. Now I somewhat know what to expect. I see girls from my cohort. Of course they have their portfolios are primped and perfect. Looking around the vacancies for self-contained special ed are sparse compared to generalist. I see three viable options that I want. One in particular. It’s for a specialized unit for severe/profound student that only this district has. The other girls are all in the same line interviewing for the same position. I walk into it and walk out immediately and get into the line for the position I want. I wonder if any other special ed certified teachers have interviewed. I forget I’m prehire and notice that there are special stickers for it so I quickly scribble it on my sticker so as not to lose my spot. Waiting in line, for over an hour, I go through my “about me” schpiel and potential questions. Strengths, weaknesses, rapport, positive climate. It’s finally my turn and when I finish my “about me” one of the women I interview with calls over another and switches seats with her. This is a good sign, I think? I begin again and she hits me with literacy. I fumble. Everything else goes well and I feel overjoyed, they sense it. I shake hands and leave to get some fresh air then decide I need to go back. Good thing. I get in one more line, this time for PPCD. It’s not my first choice but since I student taught in it and sub in it I feel confident. I begin to go over the same questions, this time emphasizing literacy and math and then they call my name to come to the stage. “They would like to extend you the offer.” She walked over and told them to close the vacancy and I almost cried. Let’s be real, I bawled when I got to my car. This is the first time in years I can allow myself to be relieved. To feel the work has paid off and I will be doing what I love and most importantly: my son and I will be okay.

And that’s it. This is the next part of my journey. It’s never ending. A never ending journey if you will. This summer I will be a one-on-one ABA therapist and in the fall will begin with my first class teaching severe/profound students. Emphasizing my love of learning, learning from them, and educating them to be the best people they can be; inside and out, at school, home, and within their communities.