#some bad stuff

But even we very carefully avoided discussing המצב so it was still like we were living in different worlds.

The closest I got to bringing it up was when she complimented the Drawfee posters on my wall and I was like, “Thanks, I’m looking to replace them though.” It was a belated bday celebration for her from when I was out of town and had to miss her initial celebration. I didn’t want to be a downer, so I avoided bringing it up as much as possible and I def didn’t tell her I’m moving within the year.

She will easily be the person I’ll miss most here. She’s been the only person I can text about antisemitism any time, but I think even she may have muted me on here. Which I understand. But the people back home haven’t muted me. And I don’t have to pretend to be ok around them.

And ultimately, I’m living half a life here because I don’t want to beg people to care about me. And if my suffering is so great that they have to look away, then it should also be enough for them to check on me about proactively.

Hanging out with a friend and not talking about everything was so nice it was like breathing fresh air after being stuck in a musty cave. But she went home and I feel like I’m suffocating again.

It’s so overwhelming. The isolation is so impossibly overwhelming I cannot even begin to explain it to people who aren’t going thru it.

It’s the kind of thing that would make me ask myself, “Is it me?! Is it just that I’m bad to be around and that nobody likes me?” Except I know it’s not, because a whole group of people back home—both related to me and not related to me—do actually get it and check in on me. When the chips are down, I know they have my back more than anyone else. And so for me and for the future I’m building, I have to go back.

It’s such a brutal blow. But this friend? I will miss her more than anyone else in this whole state and I hope she doesn’t fall out of touch with me. So many emotions, dudes. It’s all so much. I keep wanting to actively unpack the trauma of it all but I can’t because it’s still happening.

One positive thing that comes from all this is that can move up my timeline of when I start trying to get pregnant, which is awesome. I’m ready for that part of my life. Even though I’m sure maternity leave in my new state will suck worse than it would here, financially and time wise. But at least I’ll have a lot of familial support when I’m back home, which I wouldn’t have here.

Hi, Nonny, sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your question. And just for clarity for everyone else, this is in reference to a tag I put on a gifset of Thena and Gilgamesh in Eternals. So without further ado, here's what bothered me about the movie:

It was way too long and badly paced. It should have been cut down closer to 2 hours.

Because I'm a fan of Lauren Ridloff from her role on The Walking Dead, I was incredibly disappointed that Makkari was literally out of the picture for a huge chunk of the movie. It also sucks because she was the first deaf superhero portrayed in the MCU and I don't feel like she got the attention and screen time she deserved.

Kit Harington's role was not much more than a glorified cameo and apparently just an excuse to ease Black Knight into the MCU.

Richard Madden's performance seemed incredibly flat to me. It's like, why exactly did Sersi fall madly in love with such a dull guy? And having him literally yeet himself into the sun at the end should have been profound but ended up being almost comical.

That's the main stuff. Still, there was stuff I did like about the movie:

It was visually enthralling, especially with a great use of color.

The Thena/Gilgamesh relationship was lovely.

I've loved watching Gemma Chan since I saw her in Sherlock. She's incredibly beautiful.

Sprite's fate of being stuck as a teenage girl for 7000 years really was sad, so I was glad that Sersi could pull a deus ex machina moment and turn her mortal.

Kumail Nanjiani. Period. The Bollywood sequence gave me so much life.

I just want a nice way to store all my writing

Stuff I did for people

Because I want to a fic I did awhile back for @sign-from-god-complex Logicality

We kinda need that couch I saw a prompt, people wanting Sanders Sides, and I couldn’t resist. Blookl/Near Death/Superheros and Villians (Where Logan and Virgil are villians)

Songs Fluff/mention of death (its in a song)

Based off prompts

Ten minutes Coma/death/superhero and supervillian

Not ts

Sleep it's horror, dark shadows, strangling, can't move

most of the episode was fine and/or previously discussed in posts, so the final questions/thoughts I had were as follows: