#solymandros

It's the part where nothing has happened yet and you have to decide, in the absence of any evidence whatsoever, whether you still believe it's coming.

That's not blind faith. That's not toxic positivity. That's not pretending everything is fine when it isn't.

That's you choosing, deliberately and consciously, to remain open. To not slam the door shut just because nothing has walked through it yet.

The universe doesn't respond to desperation. It responds to certainty. And certainty doesn't mean knowing how or when. It just means not cancelling your own order while you're still waiting for it to arrive.

Maybe it was a parent. Maybe it was a teacher, a friend group, a relationship that lasted too long. Maybe it was just the accumulated weight of everyone's small opinions landing on you over years until you stopped questioning whether any of it was actually true.

And you've been carrying that version of yourself around ever since. Introducing yourself with it. Making decisions based on it. Limiting yourself to what it's allowed to want.

Here's what I want you to consider:

You were handed a character. You are not obligated to keep playing it.

The becoming isn't about reinventing yourself. It's not about burning everything down and starting over. It's quieter than that. It's just noticing which parts of yourself feel like you, and which parts feel like a costume you've been wearing so long you forgot it wasn't skin.

You get to take it off.

Certainty doesn't arrive before the decision. It is a consequence of the decision. You know this. You have always known this.

The thing you're waiting for permission to do - you've already decided. You decided weeks, months, years ago. The delay since then has not been preparation. It has been the management of your own discomfort about what you already know.

That doesn't mean you act without thinking, but once you decide what you want, the time for thinking is over.

Let action flow from you effortlessly.

Let inspiration move you like the wind moves the branch.

We block it out because we think the conscious mind has the power, but the mind is just the steering wheel.

You were taught to remain small and believe that you're powerless, but nothing could be further from the truth.

You have the power to say "no" and make a different choice.

The scary choice.

What they don't tell you is that real surrender is not dramatic. It does not arrive with clarity or relief. It arrives in the middle of a Tuesday when you are still waiting for the thing you asked for, with no evidence it is coming, and you simply stop making the waiting mean something about whether you deserve it.

It's not a graceful release. It's the moment you stop fighting your own stillness.

The pause is not punishment. The pause is the preparation.

You've been doing it ever since.

The terrifying thing isn't that you've been lying to people. It's that you've gotten so good at the acceptable answer that you sometimes can't find the authentic one anymore.

It's still there. Under the performance. Patient as stone.