You know you truly love something when the mere prospect of having to let it go makes you feel as if your heart is ripping in two. Doing the thing brings you so much joy yet causes many emotionally unhealthy rollercoasters. Not doing the thing, however, leaves a giant void in your heart that you don't know what else can fill. Receiving news of potentially not being able to do the thing leaves you red and crying whilst doing the thing often does the same. All your hard work towards the thing diminished by the people who currently hold the true power over your future. They have no ill intent towards you. However, it feels as if they are taking a dagger directly into your heart and hereby sealing your fate. All the years of catching up and crying in the bathroom mean nothing. All the hours spent working yourself til you were almost falling over wiped away with the stroke of key. All this work to be tossed aside without a second glance. All this effort to be regarded as a failed project. You mean nothing to them. You're a pawn in their game. The game that has unbeknownst to them captured your heart and soul.
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