#so lonely

You looked up in the mirror, seeing only one thing...Acne.

It was always there, taking prey of your insecurities, no matter how much money, product, or just begging you had. It never went away.

These past two days have been more difficult by the second, the ongoing pain of not feeling pretty.

The blemishes and the other forms of scar were like open wounds, but they never healed.

You turned away from the mirror and sat down on the bed. Your eyes are puffy from crying constantly...You were just...tired.

Grabbing your phone, you open it right to Instagram, like a pattern. Your thumb is already hovering over the app like second nature.

You scrolled, seeing all these pretty women, skin clear and beautiful. Feeling your own skin, rough and full of something you didn't want to see in the mirror.

You threw your phone, angry that you couldn't be like that. Grabbing your pillow and crying, but no tears fell.

You tried talking to your mom...surely she must understand. It quietly, but gradually, shifted to a discussion about her.

Not about the feelings you were bottling up inside, waiting for them to burst out. You could only sit and listen, occasionally nodding once or twice.

How was it so easy for everyone else to feel pretty and confident when all you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and never leave your bed again?

Hello, my darling

I don't know why I decided to write this, but recently, I've been having a lot of feelings and insecurities going on, and if any of you would also like to comment on any insecurities you've been having, please go ahead.

Or really anything you want to comment on.

Alone, he watched as the fresh blood lay still. It dried slowly, but Grian never looked away. He only watches, but the square hole remembers. 

It’s all wrong. It was like an itch, he couldn’t move on until he’d done his duty. 

“Please, let me go back,” he begged

They only shook their heads, “You’d be lost forever,”

“I– I failed Pearl. I failed Gem. I have to finish it.”

“Let it rest. We have work to do and we need you, here.”

“I–” 

A low murmur came from beneath a dark hood, “Let him go. He has become too attached. He is weak.”

One of their hoods lifted and Grian glimpsed a flash of panic, but the whispers were already obeying, sending him back into the past. Finally.

I don’t want to lose him. Was the last thing he heard before he could again taste his failure in the air. The stench trapped with him forever.