#smilingatstrangers

Smiling At Strangers _ Acharya Prashant

“Turn and face the strain…Time may change me but I can’t trace time.” - (RIP) David Bowie

Change is a curious thing. Even when you’re expecting it, sometimes it still finds a way to surprise you. I think the way we approach change and deal with it while it happens sets the tone for how we ultimately view it later on once its passed. As someone in her twenties consciously undergoing the change from kid to full-fledged grown up I knew change came with the territory, but what I’m experiencing now is a whole new wave of change and all I can think to do is take to the keyboard…

In October I relocated from my beautiful birthplace of Chicago, IL to our national capitol of Washington, DC. It was exciting in that I was taking a big step in my relationship by making the move with my partner Steven, starting a new job with a cool program in the federal government, and residing outside of the Midwest for the first time since I was five. In a matter of a month I went from living by myself in a shabby one bedroom on the Southwest side of Chicago, to living with three other people and a dog in a row house in the gentrifying part of Washington. Needless to say, it was A LOT of change at once, and my state of mind has barely time to catch up with my new reality.

It’s as though I accidentally started over. Life prior to the move was great and by all accounts on the right track. It’s not like I needed to get away from anything or anyone. Frankly, opportunities just presented themselves and I went with it. Steven mentioned wanting to move to DC. A couple of weeks later, I received a good job offer in DC. Meanwhile, my sister Jasmine, who had recently moved to DC, was shamelessly encouraging me to join her there. The arrow in my life compass was steadfastly pointed east and I followed it, seeing importance in the need to explore outside of my comfort zone and optimistically believing a change might do me good. However, the novelty of waking up in a different place and interacting with new people can be underscored by the uncertainty of the unknown. I have absolutely no idea how this is all going to play out.

Some days I can’t help but unfairly compare life here in DC to Chicago, especially where social aspects are concerned. I have no contacts in DC, aside from Steven and Jasmine. Don’t get me wrong – they’re the best – but two people a social network does not make. It has been nearly four months and I haven’t made any friends yet, mostly because I have a desire to meet people organically but have trouble putting myself out there. I’m also simultaneously trying to ensure relationships with loved ones in Chicago are maintained in a meaningful way while I establish myself in this new city. At times I feel overly aware of the fact that I’m living in a period of transition and it often results in internal anxiety and overt awkwardness. For example, there’s this group of 20-somethings that often has lunch in the elevator lobby at my office and rather than strike up a conversation to try and join them (like a normal person would), I actively avoid the lobby during lunch -taking the long way back to my desk and eating alone at my computer because (much to my surprise and disappointment) Washington-Gaby is a social coward.