For some strange reason I started reading old email messages I sent and received many years ago, around 18 years ago to be slightly more precise. And then I started thinking what if, what if, what if. What if I didn't write that, what if I stayed there, for example. No answers, just questions, of course. I was already adult then, even though it doesn't seem, maybe not mature enough. Anyway, after reading the messages my eyes started watering and my thoughts just stalled. What am I writing even? I don't know. What am I still doing here on tumblr? Same answer. Maybe I'm too old for this, especially when I write useless and not relatable posts.