(multiple experiences here, we just have no one to talk to about this)
We experience our headmates in a weird way. It's like they disappear once they have been identified, we can't access our headmates and when we hear someone they never know who they are, or if they should tell us. It's like we notice their existence to just be removed later. We have a collective sense of self, but we are also separate in our own ways. We have no clue how to identify each other anymore, we like different things, but we all say we like all of the things combined, just a little bit less or more whenever the front changes. We feel like a collective single identity, but multiple at the same time. We can't just express ourselves with "I'm a singlet" or "we are plural" for some reason It goes beyond that. We are both in our own unique way, and seeing others having identified headmates with different names and likes all figured out makes us... Desire the same. We have no clue of who we are talking with, but they exist here. We are a mix of a singlet and plural, both at the same time somehow, still have no clue what to call us. We have no headspace, it changes every time we try to create one, guess we have too many different ideas. We can't agree on any major life decisions, we want too many different things, and even when we try to mix them, there's someone that doesn't like it. We call ourselves plural, since it's a broad term, and we feel closer to being plural than a singlet, but it would be nice to know if there's some other plural that experiences the same!
Don't worry about putting more than one experience. It may be harder for me to read, but if it all comes together then it's no big deal :D
It's okay to not be very distinct!!! We ourselves sort of have the first bit depending on what flux of our plurality we're on!
I'll go ahead and mention that for a while my headmates were fine taking my name and going around with my pronouns, but now they really dislike it if I'm not out-- and whether or not that happens for you doesn't really change much about whether this is "actually plural". Fragments, facets, and even what could be considered a fully formed headmate can all just decide to not have separate identities or even just not share who or what they are.
Maybe read about median, plurallet, parasian, varion, plural-adjacent, singlet-adjacent, and mixed? Not all of them fit what was described, but they all have some amount of indistinct headmates on different levels. Some headmate-specific terms are facet, segment, and fragment. We recommend combing through posts on the median tag because a lot of median systems aren't far from your description :)
