#singledads

So, for instance let's say I got knocked up and didn't want the baby... my reason, I don't have one! Just cause🤷‍♀️ anyways my baby daddy wants the baby, and is angry cause I won't keep it. He even told me, just have the baby, and you can give it to me after it's born, you can wash your hands of it after. I won't contact you, ask you for anything.... nothing just please don't take this baby away from me... my response nope my body my choice right???

Now.... what if it was the other way around, I wanted my baby, and the father did not... how come we gold the father accountable then??? How come fathers don't get a choice in the matter?? How come fathers don't get the choice to walk away??? Maybe not there body.. but I'm sure going to hold that man accountable for getting me pregnant right??? No matter what he doesn't have a say. And guess what I'm going to be a royal B****, and the system is going to F*** him because guess what we can.

I'm pro it's your body, your choice, but I'm also pro daddy, and they should have a choice to...

There are roughly 13.6 millions single parents in the US. Men contribute to this number at 16%. Women make up 11.4 million of these single parent homes vs men at 2.1 million.

Yet there’s some negative connotation about being a single mother today; that their husband/boyfriend/father of their child left them (so they are pitied), they come with a certain baggage (they're tainted), they’re on welfare (they're not financially secure), etc.

Whereas when a man takes primary care of his children, there’s a general implication in society that the mother is at fault in some way, thus the father is seen as some sort of hero for stepping up. Though this could very well be the case, I must remind you; SINGLE MOTHERS CONTRIBUTE 84% TO SINGLE FAMILY HOMES AT 11.4 MILLION OUT OF 13.6 MILLION.

Women have been stepping up and graciously raising their kids far more often than men and have EARNED the respect for it.

“Few single mothers feel bad enough as it is, without the judgement and ignorance of society thrown in too. Most single mothers didn’t ask to be one. Some are single mothers because their husbands or partners have passed away suddenly, and some were cheated on. Some are single because they have fled a domestic violence relationship, or a partner with addiction.

In my eyes that makes someone strong, brave, capable, independent, fierce and protective of her children. It doesn’t make them a bad mother. Sometimes relationships just run their course and there is disharmony, toxicity and sadness in the home. Is it not better for children to be raised in a happy and mentally healthy home?” (https://www.singlemothersurvivalguide.com/single-mother-stigma/)

No. My ex and I first dated when I was 16, and he was a great person. But the 6 years we were apart, I had no clue that he had been dabbling in meth and that it fried his brain, and changed him. I didn't see it until months later. Didn't know ANY of that, cuz he hid it well, until I got pregnant, because he "tampered with things", thinking I wouldn't leave him. Then decided he didn't want to be a dad and ran. I tried to give him chances, but he became a drifter, went to prison, and now not even his family knows where he's at. 🤷‍♀️ I've been single by choice for many years now, so that I won't make that same mistake again. I've grown up. I have a car, a bachelor's degree, my own place, etc. I don't care if a guy doesn't want to date me because I'm a single momma. Doesn't hurt my feelings, I get it. Just like I stay very cautious with whom I date, and exit as soon as those red flags start showing. 🤷‍♀️

And if I did date someone with no kids, I would NEVER expect them to take care of my child or give me money. And I would split up my time between the two of them. And the main reason I've stayed single, is because I want to make sure that no one's heart will be broken if they get close to my kid by chance, and then we break up.

Same thing goes for single daddies. There are great single daddies out there that get bashed by their kid's mother, and don't get to see their kids much, or ever. And that is not okay.

I never bash my ex. I state the facts, but I don't talk bad about him to Anna or anyone I might be dating. I'm not bitter. And I pray for him almost daily. But I'm also 100% over that relationship, and have been for many years. I've accepted my fate, and I LOVE having Anna to myself. People make mistakes, and alot of them grow up, like I have.

So, please, don't believe everything you hear about single parents. Alot of us are great people, who just want love like everyone else. Having a child doesn't change who we are as personal individuals.