#parentingmemes

(With a surprise at the end hahaha)

🍦1. Bruce and Dick Dick (11, hanging upside down from a park bar): Can I get mint chocolate chip, and also sprinkles, and maybe a second cone in case I drop the first one doing flips? Bruce: You’re going to drop it. Dick: I said “in case”! Bruce (handing over only one cone): …Fine. Dick (grinning): Maybe I won't drop it! Bruce: You’re literally upside down right now. The ice cream cone falls. They both look at the flattened scoop on the ground and the waffle cone like a tiny hat. Dick: One for me, one for the ants... Did you know my elephant loved ice cream cones?

🍦2. Bruce and Jason Jason (21, in front of the happiest ice cream stand in the world, without clowns): I want the darkest chocolate they have. Like, morally ambiguous chocolate. Bruce: What does that even— Jason: If the cocoa beans weren’t ethically sourced, I don’t want it. Bruce (long sigh): Okay. Jason: Also I’m eating it for breakfast. Bruce: It’s 6 p.m. Jason: Breakfast. Bruce, surprised: Did you just wake up? Jason: I’m a crime lord. Bruce (shoulders slumped): We can have whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles on top. Jason: ...Okay.

🍦3. Bruce and Tim Tim (17, dead-eyed): I don’t even know what I want. Bruce: That’s okay. Tim: I’ve had three hours of sleep and the last thing I ate was… I don’t remember. Bruce: So no coffee ice cream. Tim: Why…? Bruce: Anything else. Tim: …is fine. Rainbow sherbet. Bruce: And a bottle of water. Tim (being guided to the car by Bruce’s hand on his back): Wait, I haven’t finished it, I’ll make a mess. Bruce: Don’t worry. Tim: Besides, it’s hot in the car. Bruce: It'll be fine. Tim: And I should get back to the office… (Four minutes later) Bruce (on the phone): Hi, Alfred. Yes. The Mercedes sports car needs cleaning. Yes. He’s sleeping soundly. I’ll drive to Metropolis and back — he needs that sleep time.

🍦4. Bruce and Damian Damian (8, arms crossed next to the main door of Wayne Manor): I do not require “ice cream.” Bruce: It’s not a requirement. It’s a treat. Damian: Father, my metabolism functions— Bruce: Do you want pistachio or not? Damian (grumbling): …Fine. But only if it’s imported. Bruce: I’m sure Gotham has elite pistachio. Damian (suspicious): If this is a bonding exercise, I’m billing Alfred.

🍦5. Bruce and Clark Superman (cheerful): You’re getting rocky road again, huh? Batman: Yes. Superman: A soft centre under all those crunchy layers. Fitting. Batman: You’re vanilla. Superman: That’s not an insult. Batman (muttering): It depends on the context. Superman (smiling, already holding two cones): You shouldn’t make indecent advances towards me in front of an ice cream parlour. I stop people for less. Batman: You only heard it through your powers — and you shouldn’t know what I’m talking about, boy scout. Superman (licking his ice cream): I like vanilla, but I could take a bite out of your rocky road. Batman (softening his expression, giving a secret smile): I suppose so.