#sing more

📸 teamvisma_leaseabike

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For the last six to nine months I've been talking about losing weight. It's probably one of the most common topics out of my mouth. " oh yeah, I saw a picture yesterday and I did NOT look cute, gotta go back to the gym!" "Good LORD I drink too much, I need to cut back on the calories" It's constantly word vomiting out of my face. But tonight, one of the women at the bar who runs/watches me do karaoke sent me pictures of myself, that she was planning on putting up because my coworkers and I go every week.... But I was appalled. Not that she took the pictures, but at how I looked. The smiles are forced because I know she's taking a picture, and I'm trying to hold my body so you can't get an angle on my fat. But I'm not hiding shit. And I'm not happy. I sing and I drink and I eat when I used to run and read and sing and dance and ski, I had all these hobbies that I seem to have just given up on. I don't do anything anymore. I work, and I come home. Das it. I can tell it's not making me happy anymore. I love my job and I love my coworkers and all of our weekly outings to the local dive, but I can't keep up like this. And I'm putting this on tumblr so that I can go back and hopefully remember this and continue on with my changes. I'm not gonna say this is day one, because that never sticks, but I am gonna say that this was a kick I needed. I gotta make some changes.

There's a certain quiet when I come home from work. I let the dog out. I set my purse down on the bar. And then... silence. My husband works farther away from home, so I've got about 15 minutes all to myself before anything is needed of me. I love this time. The house is silent. My mind is silent. There are no calls on my time. So what do I do? ...... I sing. I sing at the top of my lungs every stupid '80's pop song you can think of! Today, I sang "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. Yesterday, I sang "Safety Dance" by ...... ha, heck if I know! (Like they ever had another hit!) Doesn't matter. I fill the house with song and stupid dancing. That's my release. That's my cool-down session from the work-a-day world. And it works. My stress is lowered. My cholesterol is down. And I KILL at karaoke night!!! So my suggestion for the stresses of this world: less thinking; more singing.

to SING)