#simon imagines

“Don’t say it like that,” Negan said. “You know that’s not true.” 

“But it is!” You exclaimed. You sat at the edge of the bed, wringing your hands together as plenty of thoughts ran through your mind. Negan’s wives weren’t going to be punished and even if they were, it would put a target on your back and it would show the entire compound that Negan and Simon have weaknesses. It was a lose-lose situation and you all knew it. “You guys were thriving before you found me. I’m just a link to an old, forgotten world.”

Simon shook his head and reached out for you, but you pulled away. He sighed, clenching his jaw. “You’re more than that… You have always been.” 

“Simon’s right. We never stopped looking for you. During that, we needed to build something… We needed numbers. We needed fighters, an army… The fight stopped being against the dead and ended up becoming against the living,” Negan added. They both remembered how they found you and they would be lying if they said that they were trying to make up for lost time. In some way, they felt responsible for not finding you soon enough, not trying hard enough to look for you. 

“Then what started the merciless killing? Instilling fear in the same people who occupy these walls? Having people go on their knees whenever you enter the room?” 

“Fear helps keep the order!” Negan yelled. He didn’t seem to like that you were insinuating that he was acting the way he was because he liked it. “You weren’t with us in the beginning. Every goddamn group we were with ended up dying because of their fucking recklessness. I decided to lead to save people!” 

“Save?!” You scoffed. “You have a goddamn unfair point system, Negan!” You weren’t expecting to suddenly tell Negan how to lead, but you did have opinions and it was time that you opened your eyes to the reality of the situation. This isn’t the old world and you had spent too much time trying to relive what was, that you lost sight of what really is. The world ended. 

“[Y/N]... You don’t know what it’s like,” Simon reasoned.

You stood from the bed and stared up at two men. There was such an intense amount of love you had for the both of them, but you knew it wasn’t enough. 

“I will always be grateful for you both for saving me from Chris… And I have never blamed the both of you for not finding me sooner, but I asked you both if you would give all of this up for me… To start fresh, just the three of us… Both of your answers showed me where we stand.”

Negan was staring at you. He couldn’t think of anything to say. He was angry, frustrated, sad. He would do anything to give up his role as leader and just leave with you, but he knew that wasn’t possible. While he was sure he didn’t have a target on his back in the Sanctuary, he knew that if he were to leave the compound, there would be plenty of people who would take the opportunity to kill him and anyone he was with. He couldn’t risk that. He couldn’t risk losing you.

“[Y/N], you are safer within these walls,” Simon said. “Trust us…”

“I had to kill one of Negan’s wives because they tried to kill me… How can I be safe here?” You replied. Without allowing either man to reply, you left Negan’s room and headed back towards your own. 

“Fucking shit!” Negan said, tossing Lucille onto the bed. “What is she thinking?”

Simon sighed, running his hands over his face as he took a seat on the leather couch. “Maybe she’s right. Maybe she’s better off without us.”

Negan turned to look at Simon, tightening his jaw and clenching his fists. “Are you out of your fucking mind? Need I fucking remind you how we found her?”

“She isn’t even safe here with us, Negan. How can we protect her without showing the whole goddamn compound that we care for her? Not only will she be a target, but so will we. It’s like you said. We need to keep order.”

Negan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Normally, Simon was the one who always talked sense into him but in this moment, he could hear the sound of defeat in Simon’s tone. 

“I’m not letting her go,” Negan said. 

“She’s going to push us away,” Simon replied. “You and I both know that.”

“Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do then?” Negan sighed, dropping down onto the couch across from Simon.

“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out.” 

— 

You stepped into your room, surprised to see Dwight cleaning up the mess that you left. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“Cleaning your mess… And I came to talk to you. Have you thought about what I told you?”

“Kind of hard to when I have a group of women trying to kill me,” you sighed. “But yes, it has crossed my mind.” 

“Right. Sorry.” 

“I tried to get them to leave with me… Simon and Negan. I asked if they would give all this up… For me.” 

“And?” Dwight asked.

“They couldn’t. They won’t.” 

Dwight sighed. “Rick agreed to meet with you.” 

You looked up at him, eyes wide and a glimmer of hope. “What?” 

“But we have to leave in a couple of hours.” 

“Negan’s going to kill you…” 

“No. He won’t. He won’t have any idea. I’m supposed to be paying a visit to Alexandria anyway to retrieve some supplies.”

You contemplated the possibilities that this may end, but you knew that there was only one way and Negan and Simon were both too stubborn to realize a different way of living. They weren’t going to leave with you, so you might as well take matters into your own hands and try and save the Sanctuary.

“Okay… Where do I meet you?” 

Dwight told you the plan. You were to hide in the truck once it was time. No one was going to stop or question Dwight since he was already scheduled to pay another surprise visit to Alexandria. Negan wanted to put pressure onto Rick and his group to maintain the message that they all belonged to him. By the time Negan and Simon would be looking for you, you would already be gone. 

— 

Negan and Simon paid a visit to his wives. They didn’t have any of the other Saviors on watch, just because they wanted to be safe. Negan opened the door to Sherry’s cell, seeing her cower in the corner.

“Cut the bullshit,” he spat. “Here’s dinner.” He tossed a plate with a simple slice of bread. It wasn’t enough, but at least he wasn’t feeding them what they had fed Daryl. 

“Are you going to kill us?” Sherry asked quietly, grabbing the slice of bread quickly. 

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“We’re sorry… We didn’t know what overcame us. We just - We just couldn’t bear the thought of sharing you…” Sherry crawled over to Negan, running her hands along his calves and up to his thighs. On any other day, Negan would have enjoyed this, but he couldn’t help but be fueled by anger and disgust. 

“Get the fuck off of me,” Negan said, stepping back. “You all still fucking belong to me. Don’t think for one second that just because you are my ‘wives’, that I wouldn’t hesitate to kill you.”

“You would have killed us already if you wanted to,” she spat. 

“Oh, don’t fucking tempt me with a good time, darlin’.” Negan smirked, shutting the door and locking it behind him. Once he and Simon finished feeding the wives, they went back up to Negan’s room and decided to discuss what they were going to do about [Y/N].

Negan walked up the stairs and into his room. His mind drifted, wondering what life would be like if he were to leave all of this behind. He was sure he would be happier, especially with you by his side. Negan poured himself a glass of scotch, swirling its contents in the glass as he continued to ponder the possibilities. He didn’t hear Simon come in, but with a clearing of Simon’s throat, Negan was pulled out of his reverie. 

“Any idea on what we wanna do?” Simon asked, pouring himself a glass of scotch and then taking a seat across Negan. 

“How are we supposed to keep order with my ‘wives’ if I keep them alive? They will just know that they can do whatever the fuck they want. If I force them out of the Sanctuary, what happens if they find another community like Rick’s? Then we’ll be fucking screwed,” Negan said. 

“Then kill them,” Simon said simply. “I thought about it… We’re here to keep order and we need to set an example. We don’t tolerate violence within these walls. We use the excuse that these women, your wives, targeted a potential Savior for some sort of rumor they created. It was simply a way to entertain themselves,” Simon reasoned. 

“We can’t risk it.” 

“You just don’t want to kill your wives. Deep down, you and I both know that you thrive on the idea of having multiple women, being able to sleep with anyone at your disposal.” 

Negan tightened his jaw. He set his glass down onto the coffee table and leaned forward, linking his hands together. “Do I need to fucking remind you who you’re talking to?”

“Cut the shit, Negan. You don’t need to play a merciless leader with me once we’re behind closed doors. You know I’m right. I’ve always been right.” 

Negan felt anger fuel him, standing and grabbing the glass from Simon’s hand and throwing it across the room. They both heard the glass shatter and Simon stood to stand toe to toe with Negan. Simon was just slightly taller, but both men were staring into each other’s eyes, anger radiating between them.

“Shut the fuck up. We both know that [Y/N] would rather be with me than you,” Negan said. “Even before the world ended, she still wanted me while she was with you. You know you couldn’t satisfy her the way I do.”

Simon tightened his jaw and narrowed his eyes. “And yet, she still chose me.”

“Fuck you.”

“No, fuck you! You have hurt that girl way too many times and you think she’s going to pick you? She saw what you did to that group! You bash people’s heads in with a fucking bat named after your dead wife that you screwed over!” Simon yelled.

That was the last straw. Negan reached out and grabbed Simon’s shirt, tossing him roughly onto the ground. Before Simon could even get up, Negan raised his foot to kick across Simon’s face. Once it connected, Simon’s head whipped back and he groaned in pain.

“Don’t. Fucking. Mess. With. Me!” Negan yelled. Simon rolled over onto his tummy, trying to push himself up but Negan delivered another swift kick to his ribs. “Know your place!” 

Simon spat out some blood, slowly bringing himself to his knees. Negan was breathing heavy, anger flashing across his features. Simon looked over his shoulder at Negan, standing up slowly and curling his hand into a fist. He delivered a swift punch across Negan’s jaw which caused Negan to stumble backwards, grunting in pain.

“What the fuck?!” Negan rubbed his jaw, staring at Simon as both men were panting heavily. “Are you out of your fucking mind?!” 

“You started it!” Simon yelled, one arm wrapped around his midsection as he tackled Negan to the floor. He managed to deliver a few more punches to Negan’s face which caused some blood to spill from his nose and a cut to appear at his lower lip. 

Negan grunted in pain, rolling Simon over and delivering a punch across Simon’s face. Both men groaned and Simon used his strength to push him off. Both men were lying on the floor, in pain and panting heavily. 

“You fucking started it,” Negan growled. “Learn to shut the fuck up.” 

Simon scoffed, his arm remaining around his midsection. “Learn to grow the fuck up and own up to your mistakes.” 

Negan glared at Simon, standing slowly and extending a hand out. “Get the fuck up.”

Simon looked at Negan’s hand and shook his head, pushing it away. “Fuck you.” 

“Get up,” Negan demanded. “I’m not messing around.” 

“And neither am I. Just leave me the fuck alone for a minute.” 

“Then get the fuck out of my room,” Negan said, walking back towards his glass of scotch. “And while you’re at it, clean up the shattered glass.” 

Simon grunted, shaking his head as he stood up slowly. “You know, you’re right… She would choose you and maybe that’s me being jealous, but she deserves so much better than you.”

Negan downed his drink and looked over to Simon. While you had been with Simon first, there was something different with your connection with Negan and the three of you knew it. “Yeah, she deserves you.”

Simon laughed. “Of course she does. We both know it.”

“Fuck you,” Negan chuckled. 

“You know, we are going to have to kill your wives, right?”

Negan sighed, staring down at his empty glass. “I know.” 

—

You were sitting at the bed of the truck, feeling the bumps of the road. You couldn’t believe that you had left the Sanctuary and from the silence coming from Dwight, it seemed like Negan and Simon hadn’t known you left… At least not yet. 

You were slowly falling asleep before the truck came to a stop. You heard Dwight leave the truck, then you could hear the conversation he was having. 

“She’s here,” Dwight said. “Where’s Rick?”

“How do we know you’re not lying?” The other man said.

Dwight sighed and walked to the end of the truck. He lifted the sheet and nodded his head towards you. “Come on out,” he told you. “They need proof.”

You stepped out of the truck and looked around. You saw the large gates and widened your eyes once you looked past the gates to see how normal it looked inside. 

“You’re [Y/N]?” The man asked.

“Yeah… I’m here to talk to Rick. About Negan.” 

Dwight tightened his jaw, glancing around and waiting impatiently for the other man to open the gate. “Just open the gates, Aaron.”

Aaron hesitated, narrowing his eyes at Dwight and then glancing over at you. “We can take her from here.” 

“Well, I’m going to need some supplies, so let’s make this trade quick.” 

You widened your eyes. “Trade? What do you mean trade?”

“I can’t stay with you here,” Dwight reasoned. “It’s going to look very suspicious if I’m gone longer than I need to be.” 

“What if they kill me?” You asked hesitantly, glancing at Aaron once the gates opened. 

“We won’t. We’re not like Negan,” Aaron said, pure hatred lacing his tone of voice. 

You tightened your jaw and sighed. No one but you knew who these men really were. “Right.” 

You stepped inside Alexandria and was led in a different direction than Dwight. You shared one last look at him and he gave you a swift nod. 

“You’ll be okay,” he called out. 

Aaron led you to the back of the compound. You couldn’t help but look around in awe at the sight of the houses. You imagined living in one of these houses with Negan and Simon, cooking meals with one another in the kitchen, watching movies in the living room, cuddling in the bed… It was too good to be true. There was no way that was ever going to happen. 

“What’s your name?” You asked.

Aaron didn’t respond. Instead, he led you down a small flight of stairs and opened the door. You stepped inside and widened your eyes. It was a jail cell. Before you could even protest, he gently pushed you inside and locked it behind you. 

“This is for your own good, trust me.” Aaron said. “It’s just a precaution.”

“A precaution?! I snuck out of the Sanctuary to be here, to meet Rick and instead, I’m in a goddamn cell?! I’m trying to prevent a war!” 

“We just need to be sure,” he sighed. “We need to be sure you’re telling the truth that you want to help and not just saying that because Negan wants you to.”

Before you could respond, your eyes drifted to the sound of the door opening. You heard the sounds of cowboy boots walking across the floor. Your eyes raked the man from bottom to top, noticing the holster around his waist, the denim button up tucked into his ragged dark jeans, and his long, curly hair with a beard tinted with gray. You noticed his blue eyes, void of any emotion. 

He looked angry.

“Get me out of here. I’m just here to talk to Rick, I swear,” you reasoned, trying to talk to the other man who just entered the building. Maybe he would understand that you were telling the truth. 

“You can leave Aaron.”

Aaron nodded, glancing over at you once more before leaving. 

“You’re not going to let me leave, are you?”

Rick shook his head, taking a seat and staring at you. “I’m Rick.” 

You cleared your throat, taking a step backwards into the cot. “You’re the man I’m supposed to meet with.”

“And here I am. Now, talk.”

“I saw what Negan did to you, to your group… You can stop this. You can stop this war.” 

“And why should I? You saw what I saw. You know what that man is capable of.”

“He – He only did it to make a point.”

Rick chuckled, running his hand over his beard. “Really? And what do you call taking half of my group’s supplies? Ransacking our homes? Making a point? No, you’re crazy to think he’s only doing this to make a point. He wants control, power… He won’t stop until he gets it.”

“You don’t know him!” 

“And you do?” Rick questioned. 

You nodded hesitantly. “I – I know him and Simon. From before.” 

Rick arched a brow. He didn’t know about this. He just thought you were some woman that Negan cared deeply about. He was going to use you as bait, but he was intrigued about this old connection. 

“That’s why he’s so protective of you…” 

“There’s history between us,” you replied. “I’m trying to stop this… To stop you, to stop him… We can work together. I promise, I can convince him. You both are using resources that you don’t have. There’s no need to fight.”

Rick stood up abruptly, tightening his jaw as he stared deeply into your eyes. “No need to fight? Have you lost anyone, [Y/N]? Had to kill anyone since this world ended?”

You cleared your throat. You were fortunate enough to not have lost anyone since the world ended and you had only ever had to kill one person. 

Rick shook his head. He had his answer based on the silence between the both of you. “He protected you. He shielded you from this world, from who he really is. What makes you think that he won’t hurt you if you’re in his way?” 

“He wouldn’t…”

“But what if he did? What if the man you knew from before isn’t the same person you’re with now?”

You shook your head, tears brimming your eyes. “He would never hurt me.” You lied. Negan was the only man who had broken your heart just right before the world ended and while having Simon and Negan were a dream, you always felt more attracted to Negan. There was just something about him that Simon didn’t have. 

“Please… He’s not a monster.” You pleaded, wiping your fallen tears. “He’s a human being, just like the rest of us. He hurts, like the rest of us. He mourns, like all of us… He’s not the man you think he is.”

Rick shook his head. “But he could be the man that could end us all and he doesn’t even know it.” 

“It may sound crazy, but maybe making [Y/N] a Savior will help. I already know I want to kill those girls, but it isn’t up to me.”

Negan arched a brow. “And how the fuck is making [Y/N] a Savior supposed to do any good? You saw how she was back there with Frankie. She wouldn’t last a day out these walls.”

“You kill your wives and [Y/N] has a target on her back. Simple. Make her a Savior… No target at all.” Simon ran his hand over his face. Why couldn’t things just be simple for once? You were their gateway to an old world, a glimpse of what used to be, a sense of normalcy… Negan and Simon were too focused on you that they had forgotten their roles in this new world. They needed to make a point with you. And they needed to do it soon.

You were having mixed emotions. You knew you had to kill Frankie. It was either her or you, but you needed to wake up. Your morals and trying to be the “good person” were going to end up getting you killed sooner or later. If you hadn’t killed Frankie, you were sure you would have been dead by now. You had realized that being with Negan and Simon had given you such a feeling of the old world that you seemed to forget what kind of twisted and fucked up world it was now. Killing was inevitable if it meant surviving.

Then you thought back to what Dwight mentioned. So many people outside of these walls wanted Negan dead and from the sounds of it, there was a possibility that it could happen.

And you were going to do everything in your power to prevent that from happening, even if that meant putting your life on the line.

You walked into Negan’s room. It was odd to be here when he wasn’t. The dark colored walls. The large bed covered neatly with grey sheets. You remember the few nights spent on this bed and a blush appeared on your cheeks. However, you were broken out of your reverie when you hear the door open. You didn’t need to look up to know that it was Negan and Simon.

“Well, isn’t this a surprise,” Simon grinned. This wasn’t a friendly visit though and they could tell by the look in your eyes.

“What do we owe this visit? Most importantly, why the fuck are you not resting?” Negan placed Lucille against the bed. You looked over at the barbed-wire laced baseball bat and remembered the night where he smashed two people’s skulls in. You wondered if that group was one of many who wanted Negan and his men dead. You could imagine it was possible. The look of defeat and helplessness on their faces. You felt sympathy. You wanted to stop everything from happening that night, but you were held back Simon. It was that night that made you realize the Negan and Simon you remembered were just a distant memory.

“You can’t kill them,” you blurted. “Sherry, Amber… You can’t.” You moved to sit on the leather coach and looked up at both men. Oh, how you wished the old world never ended. It was time to stop sitting around and acting like the world outside these walls weren’t going to catch up to you.

“And why the fuck not? They were going to kill you and you want me to fucking spare them?” Negan followed you. You could see the irritation in his dark orbs. There was no lust behind it. No need to have you bent over or legs spread wide for him. No, the look in his eyes was threatening, challenging, and you were afraid.

“The world’s changed. You can’t trust anyone. You can’t save everyone,” Simon added.

You weren’t listening. All you could think about, all you could imagine was losing the two men that meant the world to you. The two men that had declared their love for you.

“Who gets to decide who is worth saving then?” You asked.

“They tried to fucking kill you!” Negan yelled. You flinched and for a brief moment, a flash of regret crossed Negan’s eyes. “I’m sorry for fucking yelling, doll, but are you even listening to yourself?”

“If you kill them because of me, you’re not only putting a target on my back, but you’re putting yourself and Simon in a very vulnerable position,” you reasoned. You needed them to understand where you were coming from, but it was hard when the two men standing in front of you were stubborn as hell.

“What is that supposed to mean, [Y/N]?” Simon sat across from you. His brow furrowed. He looked at you, trying to get a read on you, but he couldn’t. Your walls were up. You weren’t showing any emotion and for once, you felt unreachable. They couldn’t get through to you.

“If people find out that you killed your wives because of me, because of one person, then all of a sudden, the image of you being fearless, merciless… It goes away. Poof. Just like that. You become human. A person with feelings. A person that cares, that loves… Once you kill them, you can’t take that back,” you reasoned.

Negan sighed. You made a point. He had worked so hard to uphold his image and so many people in the Sanctuary feared him for it. He sat next to Simon and leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. You glanced between both men. They couldn’t take their eyes off you and not because they wanted you in this particular moment, but because they were afraid that if they looked away, you would be gone.

“What the hell do you propose we do then? This cannot go unpunished. You know that. I know that. They know that,” Negan said.

Simon glanced over at him. He didn’t want to be in Negan’s position but being his right-hand man meant helping him solve any issues that came up.

“Let me go,” you whispered.

Both men’s eyes widened. They were about to yell until you reached over and placed a hand on top of theirs.

“It’s okay. I’ll be okay. If they know that I’m gone, there is no threat to you, no threat to me… Things will go back to normal.” Tears stung your eyes. You knew what you needed to do. You had to leave in order to reason with the other communities. You didn’t know if you could trust Dwight, but if it meant possibly saving Negan and Simon’s lives, then you were going to take that risk.

“We are not letting you out these fucking walls!”

“Not a chance, [Y/N]. You have really lost your shit if you think we are going to allow that,” Simon added.

“Give me a walkie. Give me a few supplies. I can make it out there on my own. Trust me.” You looked into their eyes, trying to reason with them. It wasn’t going to be forever, but it was going to be awhile.

“No.” Negan stood up and stared at you, his jaw clenching tightly from frustration. “I fucking lost you once and I’m not losing you again.”

“[Y/N]…” Simon sighed, gripping your hand and running his thumb across your knuckles. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

“If you really loved me like you both said you did, you would let me go.”

Negan hadn’t said any words. His back was facing you and he walked towards his bat, gripping the end of it tightly. He was going to kill his wives whether you liked it or not.

“Last I checked, doll, you are not the one in fucking charge here.”

You stood up and threw your hands in the air. It was a long shot, but you were going to take it.