#sdmn

—

"relax, my darling. it'll be great."

"ugh, I'm shittin' it, tobes. are you sure this is the right place for me to be meeting her?" you fidget, fixing your hair for the tenth time, desperately wanting to look presentable enough.

tobi wraps a comforting arm around your shoulders, giving you a light squish as you walk, following the sound of the bells chiming from the little church just ahead. it's a bright warm sunday, and he's taking you to meet his mum for the first time — attending their regular morning service and then having lunch together.

"yes, love. she'll adore you. it's the perfect setting to make my mum happy. look at you, dressed up all polite in your pretty dress for church on a sunday," he runs the flowing fabric through his fingers, his low voice a soothing balm on your nerves. "knees covered and everything like a proper, respectful girl. a right lil lady, yeah?" he teases, brushing a bit of hair out of your face. a smile tugs at your lips, the irony making you giggle.

"you know damn well my knees are covered because they're bruised, you little fucker," you retort quietly, poking his side with a cheeky grin. he snorts, rolling his eyes at you, all the while looking smug as ever and planting a kiss to your temple. "alright behave yourself now, baby. don't say damn — we're at church."

—

as you cross the threshold, tobi is promptly welcomed by... everyone.

it somehow hadn't even occurred to you that your tobi, who was well-known and well-respected in general, would obviously still be well-known and well-respected even as their tobi, in the neighborhood he was raised in. of course he would. not only because the borough of hackney didn't live in a fucking bubble, but also because you were well aware that he regularly gave back to his community, including his church. he was an even more active contributor of society here than anywhere else. he took care of his people. he'd probably directly impacted the lives of everyone in this room in one way or another.

"d'you know that in ancient greek, the word 'philanthropy' means 'for the love of mankind'?" he asked you one morning, sitting up in bed talking about all of the local children's initiatives he wanted bright side to contribute to with the money raised from the sidemen charity match. "I don't remember where I learned that. but I think about it every day. it reminds me why I do what I do, y'know? why we do what we do. just makes sense. for the love of mankind."

your heart warms as it registers just how important tobi is to the residents in this little pocket of the city. he was just so good.

the two of you make your way up through the crowd towards a pew that his family had laid claim to for as long as he could remember, and find his mother already sat there, waiting. "mum, hi," he grins, sliding in and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"hello, mrs. brown," you greet with your sweetest voice, joining them and reaching over tobi to shake her hand. "it's so lovely to finally meet you."

she returns your smile, though it doesn't quite meet her eyes, and takes your hand. "hello there... nice to meet you as well. tobi's spoken so much about you." you think she means it nicely, but you can't tell if you're imagining the hint of exasperation in her tone.

"aw mum, don't grass on me like that," tobi jokes, and you're grateful he's there to lighten the air in the room. services begin, and tobi's hand stays in yours the whole time, keeping you grounded.

your eyes can't help but wander as the priest speaks, taking in the old architecture, the artwork, the history. you wonder how long ago the church was built. you notice the people around you, some folks so old they could be part of the furniture, others so young, tiny as the cherubs in the paintings on the walls.

part of you feels like you shouldn't be here. you feel like you're interfering, intruding in this tight-knit group's sacred space. there was no denying you stuck out like a sore thumb as the only white person in the building, and you couldn't help but worry you were disrupting someone's peace, someone's comfort in their own place of worship.

as if reading your mind, tobi gives your hand a little squeeze, a nonverbal check-in. you squeeze back, taking a deep breath. tobi is a highly respected member of the community, you tell yourself. they love tobi. tobi loves me. that's enough.

—

the rest of your church outing goes smoothly, for the most part. the three of you walk back to tobi's childhood home, and you help him and his mum prepare lunch, seemingly without offending her too much.

throughout the meal, tobi's mum seems to have warmed up to you a bit. you'd even managed to get a laugh or two out of her, and you felt much more at ease than you did that morning.

"ah tobi, I am starting to like this one," she nudges him, pointing her fork in your direction. "you seem like a good girl. I can't remember the last time tobi had a girlfriend who went to church," she added with a smile.

you freeze, slowly lowering your utensils as you process what she'd just said. maybe she just meant a girlfriend who went to church... today? your eyes flicker towards tobi.

he looks nervous, but... not surprised? it hadn't even occurred to you that he might've not told her the truth, that you were jewish. why the fuck did he not tell her?

"um, actually, mum..." he starts, trying to choose his words carefully.

"oh, I'm jewish," you chime in, interrupting him, trying to sound casual despite your heart pounding in your chest. "I thought tobi would've mentioned that."

his mum's face drops, her entire demeanor shifting right before your eyes. "he did not."

the energy in the room went cold. she hadn't even said anything yet but the look on her face said everything. there's a growing pit of discomfort in your stomach. you know this isn't going to end well.

"tobi, may I speak to you in the kitchen, please?" she asks, though it certainly sounded like more of an order. he opened his mouth to argue, but then thought better of it. he stood and walked around the table, reassuringly running his hand across your back as he passed you with apologetic eyes, before following his mother into the kitchen.

their voices were muffled through the walls, though loud enough that you could still hear them clear as day. you chew on your lip, trying to bite back the urge to cry, listening to their shouting match.

“you brought a jewish girl into our church?! tobit, what would possess you... I can't believe this. it's bad enough she's white, the way everyone was looking, but I thought at least she'd be a christian.”

“mum, are you serious? what is the big deal? yes, she's jewish. so what? she was still totally happy to come to church with us. and it literally affects nothing about our relationship. honestly, I couldn't care less that she's not christian. I love her.”

“...does she know how much money you have?”

your eyes squeeze shut as a tear immediately streams down your face. yup, there it is.

“what?”

“you know they like money, jews. you're a very successful man, tobi. have you been buying her things? has she been asking for money?”

“I... what? oh my god, mum, I can't believe you right now. the years of racism and discrimination and hate we've endured living in england just for you to turn around and accuse her of some stereotypical shit because she's jewish?!”

“ah, ah, don't swear at me, boy. I just--“

“no, stop. mum, look, I know our religion is everything to you, and it is incredibly important to me, but the only thing she has ever done is respect my faith and support it even if it's different from her own. it's literally all I could ever ask for. I don't know what mad theories you've got in your head about jewish people but I promise you they are wrong.”

*silence*

“I didn't tell you ahead of time because I was afraid that you wouldn't even give her half a chance, especially since you had already decided you weren't going to like her just because she wasn't nigerian. I'd hoped that by waiting to tell you she was jewish, you would see how happy I am with her and that would make up for whatever feelings you have about me dating someone who wasn't part of the church.”

you clear your throat, alerting them to your presence in the entranceway to the kitchen. their heads turn in sync, and tobi sighs sadly at the sight of your coat on and your purse on your shoulder.

"oh please don't go, love," he says quietly, walking over to you.

"no, I am," you reply firmly, stepping back just out of his reach. "mrs. brown, I'm sorry if I've offended you by being here. while I do really wish tobi had told you ahead of time, I hope you know that I do love him very much, and my religion has no impact on that whatsoever. we take very good care of each other. so... I guess now that you have proof that I won't burst into flames entering your church or whatever, I... I hope you will feel comfortable inviting me again some day."

they both look at you, tobi looking slightly heartbroken and his mother... unreadable.

"also, for what it's worth: I've never asked tobi for anything. I've only ever encouraged him to use his money to help the community, not that he's ever needed convincing. you have raised an exceptional human, mrs. brown, and... you should be very proud of him. thank you for lunch."

you bow your head slightly with a tight-lipped smile and turn around, swiftly walking straight out of the house without looking back. you know if you look tobi in the eye, you'll burst into tears, and the second you're far enough down the street that you think he won't follow you, you do anyway.

—

an hour later

tobeebee 🥰: baby please answer the phone tobeebee 🥰: i'm so sorry tobeebee 🥰: i totally fucked it i know i should've told her sooner tobeebee 🥰: i don't know why i thought springing it on her wouldn't go horribly tobeebee 🥰: please forgive me love tobeebee 🥰: at least tell me you're home safe please you: i'm safe you: i'll talk to you tomorrow, tobes. promise you: just need some time

—

the next morning

your head is pounding when you wake up, having basically sobbed yourself to sleep the night before. you feel dehydrated and exhausted and just generally upset by yesterday's events. you take a sick day from work, despite working remotely and your computer just a spitting distance away.

you wanted to be angry with tobi for not telling his mum that you were jewish, but you can't be. you understood what he meant, hoping his mum would come to like you before finding out. but it might've been nice for you to know that. you wish he'd told you.

the whole day runs through your head over and over, and you torture yourself trying to think of things you could've changed to make it go more smoothly. some way you could've made her love you so much that she couldn't have possibly cared by the time she found out.

forcing yourself out of bed, you take a steaming hot shower, trying to boil the remnants of the whole terrible ordeal off of you. with a big cup of coffee, you adhere yourself to the couch, not even bothering to change out of your robe. you vegetate all morning, wallowing in the little ball of misery you felt in your stomach as you doom scroll and stare into space. you doze off after a short while.

—

"baby? don't freak, just me."

you feel a warm hand on your shoulder, the smell of tobi's aftershave wafting over you as you peel your eyes open from your nap.

"hi tobes," you mumble, voice full of sleep with a lingering twinge of defeat.

"hey love," he replies, a soft, sad smile on his face. "let myself in with the spare, hope that's okay. tried knocking but I guess this is why there was no answer."

you hum in acknowledgment, pulling yourself up to make space for him on the couch. "s'fine."

he shifts up to sit next to you, and takes your hands into his. "I'm so sorry, baby. I couldn't believe the way she spoke to you. about you. you didn't deserve that."

"no, tobi, I didn't," you agree. "I can't believe you hadn't told her already. better yet, I can't believe you hadn't told me that she didn't know. I was a bloody deer in headlights sitting at that table."

"I know, I know. I should've told you. I don't know why I didn't. I feel horrible. it was so unrealistic and shortsighted of me to think that would work the way I'd hoped. I can't apologize enough, darling."

his eyes say a million more things his mouth can't find the words for, full of emotion and shining with unshed tears of his own.

you bring a hand to his cheek, softly pressing your lips against his. "I forgive you," you surrender, his arms wrapping around you tightly, filling your insides back up with the warmth that had evaporated about 24 hours prior. "but what now? is this going to be a problem every time? I don't want to drive a wedge between you and your mum, tobes. I can't."

"we'll figure it out together as we go. I think I wore her down a bit by the end of the day," he chuckles. "and she seemed a bit impressed by what you said before you left, to be honest. I don't think she expected it. she'll come 'round, I'm sure of it. maybe we can try again at easter, y'know? I love you too much for her not to."

you smile, though almost imperceptibly, for the first time since yesterday, nodding in agreement to his plan. "I can't lie, babe. I... part of me kind of expected you to break up with me." your voice cracks slightly with your confession, sniffling.

tobi's eyes widen, almost horrified by the suggestion. "oh my days, absolutely not. that was never an option, baby." he assures, his arms pulling you closer to him. "I'm not goin' nowhere, I swear it." he mumbles into your hair, kissing the top of your head.

"okay. good," you sigh, voice still uncharacteristically small but relaxing your shoulders the tiniest bit. “I love you, tobes.”

"I love you too, sweets. you ain't gettin' rid of me that easily," he promises, his plush lips leaving a trail of kisses down from your temple to your jaw, before meeting your mouth. your eyes flutter to a close as you melt into him, his sweet warmth bringing you back down to earth.

the silky satin belt of your robe loosens as tobi reverently caresses your hips and waist, gently pushing you onto your back against the soft cushions. he climbs over you, his kiss languid and deep, as his hand trails up your torso where your robe has fallen partially open, through the valley between your breasts, before wrapping behind the nape of your neck and urging you closer. your tongue welcomes his with a breathy little moan, swirling together as you delicately scratch your nails up his strong back. tugging his shirt up, you wordlessly plead for his skin on yours.

your robe lies in a heap on the floor, tossed aside with the remainder of tobi's clothes. he takes the sweetest care of you, on his knees in prayer to your body, reminding you just how much you mean to him. how much he needs you.