Tried thinking about Simon Riley and his bad habits. Enjoy <3
Simon Riley has bad— weird? habits.
It started when he was just a kid, picking old scabs off his skin. Watching the dried up blood peel right off, only to squeeze at the small wound until it bled again. Repeating the process enough to the point it became habit, creating oh so many scars.
Speaking of his youthful days, the rare times he remembers on the playground was spent sitting alone on a far away pile of dirt. Gently pulling earthworms from the ground, keeping them safe in his small palm. Small friends, he thought.
It was a short time, but when Simon was in school his leg tapped under the desk he sat at. Everyday. Every class period. Every lunch. The stimming being loud enough for the teacher to lose concentration, their eyes breaking to the same spot under Simon’s desk.
When Simon was 10 he picked up the first butt of a cigarette he could get his hands on, hiding away while his dad was too drunk to notice. The moment he put it to his lips, the taste immediately burned the tip of his tongue, he hacked and threw the thing like it had truly wronged him.
4 years later and Simon is pick pocketing strangers off the street to get money for a fresh pack.
The nasty habit sticks with him to this day. His teeth yellow and rotted. Nicotine that stains his fingers and smoke that clings to his clothes no matter how many times he washes it.
At 28, he no longer picks at his scabs. Bullet holes and deep gashes being no contender for such things.
His nails now bleed weekly. If not daily. When dark leather is no longer protecting his big digits the real damage is seen.
All around his nail is dry, cracked. Rubbed raw and red. His cuticles non-existent and overgrown in an impossible way.
At 30 Simon stopped smoking.
After all, with all the hospital visits he’s taking to see Johnny the habit becomes something more irritable than soothing.
He now wears nicotine patches. Plural. One atop his shoulder the other stuck to his lower back, killing the cravings before than can begin, allowing him to stay as long as he wants with Johnny.
32 years old, a small nicotine patch on his skin, your feet in his lap.
He no longer picks at scabs, nor steals for cigarettes, or even fills his pockets with dirt.
But habits don’t just disappear, they change into other smaller things.
The Tv is on, playing some late night show neither of you are paying too much attention to.
Simons finger moves over a hangnail resting on his thumb.
Like habit, he brings his hand to his lips, ready to rip off the extra skin.
Like it’s nothing, you sit up taking his wrist.
Confused Simon looks over at you.
You meet his gaze without question.
“Let me get that taken care of for you.”
You hum, always happy to help.
Simon can’t get a word out before you’re already up and off the couch.
You return holding a small black case full of nail tools.
Simons dark eyes bounce between you and your new pack of toys.
He asks with a tilt of his head. Sitting down, you take his hand, opening up the case expertly with one hand.
“It’s nail care Si, just relax.”
You suggest before moving to start your gentle work cutting away extra dead skin.
Watches the gentle treatment of each nail, like his hands haven’t put others in the dirt.
Gentle, like they’re not ugly worn things.
The smallest smile pulling at his lips.
He couldn’t remember the last time someone held his hand any reason other than a medic checking for injury. A teammate pulling him to his feet. A weapon being handed to him.
Never because they just wanted to.
Simon knows he’s not soft, that he’s not gentle or patient but you?
You treat him like he is.
You look up at him just in time and smile right back before going back to your work.
His fingers wrap around yours, stopping you from snipping around his nails, you look up in confusion.
Then, you hear it, he’s turned away from you, but his words still meet your ears.
“Love you with my whole heart luvie.”